Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Are gay men able to exercise self-restraint? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If a man likes another man but is already committed to a long term partner, is he able to restrain himself from going on his instincts and acting on his urges?

    I get the impression that gay men are promiscuous and don't think about commitment in these situations, don't know where I got this impression? Maybe it's the factual stories you hear and the rise in HIV cases and that guy on that BBC Documentary called: Unsafe sex in the city, who claimed to have 80 or so partners in the past 3 months up to his HIV test.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Nope, we're animals. Whenever we see another man, we must have sex with them. We're uncontrollable.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Hahaha, what? Gay men are no worse than straight men, straight women or lesbians - they don't suddenly change into sex crazed demons the minute they come out :lol:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    1. Gay couples are not motivated by the risk of pregnancy to use condoms.

    2. Gay male couples are not affected by negative societal judgment of women who have casual sex or want to have lots of sex; so in that sense both partners are uninhibited.

    3. Unfortunately, unprotected anal sex is the most risky sex for transmission of STDs.

    4. Because of societal judgment, not all gay men are "out" (or feel open at least about their active sexual behaviour). They may feel forced to conduct their sex life in secret, or may themselves feel ashamed of their sexual orientation. As the sexual behaviour is already judged, promiscuity and unsafe sex may not produce that much additional judgement / make them feel any worse if that makes sense. Whenever people are shamed into keeping their sexual (or any) activity secret, I think they tend to take more risks.

    5. Some men who do not identify as gay like to have unprotected sex with other men as a deliberate risky/taboo behaviour, there are lots of different motivations for this, some of these men may be gay or bisexual, some of them not, some are probably in a grey area.


    The first two are speculation, 3 is fact, and 4&5 are based on "typical" men who have sex with men whom I have seen in STD clinics who've put themselves at risk of STDs and it's very sad for them

    However, most of this probably only applies to a specific minority of gay men, and probably not anyone on this site. It's a generalisation to say that gay men are more promiscuous or more unsafe - the majority aren't, and lots of heterosexuals are (but have the advantage that the way they have sex just happens to be less risky). I don't think the rate of newly-acquired STDs is much/any higher amongst gay men now, because fortunately non-judgmental, open education about safe sex for gay men is very much out there and has been for some years.

    I don't think there's any reason to believe that gay men in gay relationships are more likely to cheat at all, that's just sort of offensive really - why wouldn't they have the same commitment as anyone else? However, gay men who are shoe-horned into heterosexual relationships are a different matter for very obvious reasons, but it's really more sad that they are unable to be open about their sexuality (for them and their female "partner").

    EDIT: I hope this doesn't offend anyone, it is not intended as such, I just find it an interesting area. If you think I'm really off base just quote me.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    Not all gay men are the same. Some gay men are like that; but how is that different to heterosexuals and lesbians?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Pigling)
    It's a generalisation to say that gay men are more promiscuous
    No, it's not. It would be a generalisation to say that all gay men are promiscuous.

    As far as I am aware, it's true that gays are more promiscuous. A random gay man is more likely to be promiscuous than a random straight man.

    However, it is obviously not the case that all gay men are promiscuous. OP, just because you've seen some examples of promiscuous men, you shouldn't assume that all gay men are like that. That's just really dumb.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Treeroy)
    No, it's not. It would be a generalisation to say that all gay men are promiscuous.

    As far as I am aware, it's true that gays are more promiscuous. A random gay man is more likely to be promiscuous than a random straight man.

    However, it is obviously not the case that all gay men are promiscuous. OP, just because you've seen some examples of promiscuous men, you shouldn't assume that all gay men are like that. That's just really dumb.
    Hehe a generalisation can be true! You just have to remain aware that it is a generalisation and therefore not applicable to everyone.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Haha, I don't think this is something that can be generalized like this.
    Some gay people, like myself do have self restraint, others don't. Which i'm guessing is the same with straight people.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I hate meaningless threads like this one.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 13, 2013
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.