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boyfriends, first years, and objecting parents!! watch

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    • Thread Starter

    Hello all,

    starting uni in September and I'm moving in with my boyfriend (well that's the plan) hes 25 I've been with him for a year and am very much in love.

    my problem is in under a lot of pressure from my parents who are insistent in making a mistake. I cant tell my boyfriend (although he is kinda aware) because he resents the idea that he cant be in an 'adult' relationship if that makes sense..... He also wont commit until august.... He is looking for jobs as we speak but refuses to start looking for or putting down deposits on a flat until august/september. Whilst this is all understandable and in fine with, i cant escape the fear that he can back out at any time, and hell be fine. Whereas i will be.... ****ed more or less. I wont be able to do halls as much as my five years in boarding school makes me sure ill resent them and ill be buggered for somewhere to live and hes point blank refusing to a long distance relationship for the first yea which i also u derstand and respect.

    any thoughts or advice from anyone who's been through this would be fantastic. Xx

    To be honest, I think you should do halls. I was dubious about it because of the same reasons as you but I chose halls in the end and I'm so so glad I did. After first year it doesn't matter because everyones living in houses etc anyway, and I know people who moved in with their bfs in second year, but first year I think it's quite important to be in halls for socialising/getting to know loads of people/making friends reasons.

    You really should choose halls yes there are really bad points to it, such as noisy flatmates mess etc etc but ive also made 2 of my closest friends in my flat I have such a strong bond with them more so than with any other friends. By living with your boyfriend you are completely isolating yourself from uni life, freshers week you go as a flat your halls do events etc etc if your not living in halls how are you going to make friends, of course you will make friends on your courses but the first few weeks is really important. I understand you love your boyfriend but I think your parents are right you are making a mistake. Second year you can do what you want but first year you should be concentrating on making friends
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    Although I don't agree that you have to live in halls to make friends, as I live at home and made plenty. I do agree it'd be a bit silly to live with your boyfriend in first year. I could always stay out late at parties and freshers because no one was waiting for me to come home. If you were staying with your boyfriend he might feel a bit put out if you come stumbling home most nights at 3am.

    I'd say halls for first year or even a flat with friends if you really don't want halls because of boarding school.

    Apply for halls now, then you have a fall-back, you don't have to worry about him backing out.

    You could even stay with him and still be paying for halls for a while, just to be sure all was well.

    It's your best, most flexible option.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello all,

    starting uni in September and I'm moving in with my boyfriend (well that's the plan)
    No joke, every couple I've ever come across that was dumb enough to this, have broken up. Somehow living together just accelerates the ride to the end, because you don't really know someone till you have to live with them.

    Most ended up breaking up before the contract/uni year finished, so awkwardly had to live with each other for a considerable amount of time after that.
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