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Long distance boyfriend act differently when we're apart Watch

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    Really starting to frustrate me. I suffer with horrible periods of severe depression, stress and anxiety. My boyfriend is the only positive thing in my life, except for family. We're long distance and see eachother twice a month, and the periods when we're apart I find he acts so much different when we're together; it's like he just decides that he doesn't need to make any effort if I'm not physically with him. He'll often give me one-worded, vague responses, it'll be me supplying the conversation, me who texts first and me who rings first.

    It's so difficult and frustrating for me, because I love how he is when I'm with him; he's caring and sweet and will cuddle me all the time etc, but when we're apart it's like I'm with a completely different guy. He'll act cold towards me and I'm often left feeling unimportant, annoying and what's more, just like I'm a friend to him. Obviously, this really gets me down. I want to know how to subtly snap him out of this and take him back to how he used to be with me, when he'd ask me how my day was and actually care about everything I had to say.

    Any advice would be really appreciated at the moment, it's really getting me down.
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    You should really talk to him and find out how he feels about you and what is going on, from there you can work on your relationship and make sure he is making effort when he isn't with you. It sounds like it would be better to talk to him when you next see him on person due to the position you are in.
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    (Original post by demeigh)
    You should really talk to him and find out how he feels about you and what is going on, from there you can work on your relationship and make sure he is making effort when he isn't with you. It sounds like it would be better to talk to him when you next see him on person due to the position you are in.
    Really good idea to bring it up when we're together, but then it seems so irrelevant because we're happy if you get me? It's like, bringing up an issue that isn't there at that moment in time.

    It's so difficult because we spend more time apart than together and I go from being insanely happy to feeling stupidly insignificant as soon as I/he leaves.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Really good idea to bring it up when we're together, but then it seems so irrelevant because we're happy if you get me? It's like, bringing up an issue that isn't there at that moment in time.

    It's so difficult because we spend more time apart than together and I go from being insanely happy to feeling stupidly insignificant as soon as I/he leaves.
    Yeah, but it's still relevant overall. Even though it might seem irrelevant at that moment, you know it will become an issue again once he leaves - therefore = always relevant.

    I used to have a similar problem with my boyfriend. It made me question the relationship/made me feel I was getting mixed signals. But then I realised that if there was a problem in the relationship, he wouldn't be so cuddly etc in person. He might just not need as much affection as you do when you're apart/maybe doesn't see the point in it.

    But you need to explain how you feel and say it would help if he phoned you sometimes because it shows he cares. Plus, a relationship should be 50/50 effort as much as possible, so it shouldn't be you doing all the texting and calling. As I say, this was an issue for me too, but it got resolved with time after he realised how important it was to me and we reached a happy medium. It's not too much to demand a few calls and texts - just make sure you're keeping it in perspective if you're feeling down as you'll be inclined to look at everything more negatively. Talk to him, and good luck.
 
 
 
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