I've been like i have for a long time, but i feel that my behaviour throughout life has caused me to be somewhat incompatible with many other people like me, i feel so different and not in your conventional teenage wanting to conform different. Even my parents seem to notice it:
- I psycho-analyse and read into situations far too deeply, treating many situations like a deep psychological chess battle which simply do not appear to exist to others,
- I am very paranoid, i have been robbed in the past and when im out in the dark by myself i constantly look over my shoulders and run home as soon as possible.. im a pretty big up at 6.1 and well built frame so i shouldnt feel like this since the incident happened when i was in year 9.
- I have very spontaneous mood swings, becoming very aggressive at being undermined and contradicted.. not to the extent i wont listen to others opinions and debates but more so general cause of events.
- I hate to be undermined, i take that very harshly and act as above.
- I am very very ambitious, to the extent as when i do not meet over optimistic goals i become VERY depressed, ( not self harming but emotionally reclusive)
- I feel very desensitized to violence, even very very gory stuff.. i often watch gore websites out of curiosity of crime but it doesnt seem to creep me out like most.
- I have friends and i feel that i blend into society very well, but i do feel very different,
- I have various taboo but legal sexual persuasions.
What should i do? are these just general inadequacies of my behaviour or are these the characteristics of mental deficiencies?
Should i seek help? watch
- Thread Starter
- 14-05-2013 01:11
- 14-05-2013 03:10
Unless these things are affecting your welfare by making it hard for you to function in school, work, or relationships, I don't think you need to seek psychiatric help. You say you have friends and fit into society well and haven't mentioned problems at work/school, so it doesn't sound like that applies. It just sounds like you're aware of your personality flaws; everyone has them, but not everyone knows they have them.
Mood swings/ambition/over-analysis/paranoia...I think you need to try and be rational about these things. Take deep breaths and try and let go of stuff you're over-analysing, try and walk more slowly and rationalise how unlikely it is that anyone would hurt you when you're out and about, make an effort to set realistic goals (I'm quite similar and what I've found works best is just taking care to only commit to things that are actually achievable, and being quite harsh with myself when doing so), and as for mood swings, it sounds like you're doing a good job just being able to listen to other's opinions, not everyone can. Being aware of these things is the first step - then you can learn to control them. Might be worth talking to close friends about it and seeing if they can offer any more specific advice.
Being desensitised to images of violence is different to being desensitised to real violence...unless you want to hurt someone, or would stand by and watch someone in pain and not help them, I'd try and just accept it as part of who you are. Me, I can't even watch Scrubs without getting freaked out by the needles, the boyfriend sits through gory horror films and laughs; there's nothing wrong with either of us in that respect, we've just got different tolerances. It sounds like you've just got an exceptionally high tolerance.
As for taboo sexual persuasions, join the club...unless your fantasies involve children, animals, or non-consensual acts, go out, find someone who's into it as well, and have fuuuuun.