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    I love my boyfriend loads and loads. We are capable of talking about anything with each other, are like best friends and are very much in love.

    However, a bit of a problem has arisen- I don't feel satisfied by sex with him because he isn't doing all the necessary things. He'll do one thing one night, a different thing the next, but he never pieces everything together. I know exactly what i want him to do. If he did it it would be perfect, not just for him or for me, for both of us.

    Lately only he has been feeling satisfied by sex and it's getting me down. I really want to tell him exactly how and what he has to do to make me feel great, but don't know how to go about doing this sensitivlety without making him feel crap or without me sounding incredibly selfish. I'd love him to just focus everything on me for once- it sounds selfish, doesn't it? But most nights i feel like i'm the one focussing on his satisfaction. I really care how he feels.

    Bless him, he does try. So when i tell him this he'll feel pretty bad :/ don't want to make him feel bad but i might have to if he is ever to learn what to do. How do I get my point across without offending him but saying everything i need to say?
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    (Original post by AB25)
    I love my boyfriend loads and loads. We are capable of talking about anything with each other, are like best friends and are very much in love.

    However, a bit of a problem has arisen- I don't feel satisfied by sex with him because he isn't doing all the necessary things. He'll do one thing one night, a different thing the next, but he never pieces everything together. I know exactly what i want him to do. If he did it it would be perfect, not just for him or for me, for both of us.

    Lately only he has been feeling satisfied by sex and it's getting me down. I really want to tell him exactly how and what he has to do to make me feel great, but don't know how to go about doing this sensitivlety without making him feel crap or without me sounding incredibly selfish. I'd love him to just focus everything on me for once- it sounds selfish, doesn't it? But most nights i feel like i'm the one focussing on his satisfaction. I really care how he feels.

    Bless him, he does try. So when i tell him this he'll feel pretty bad :/ don't want to make him feel bad but i might have to if he is ever to learn what to do. How do I get my point across without offending him but saying everything i need to say?
    I'd just tell him and if he does something right tell him you really liked it and he'll soon get the message. Or teach him? I don't think he'd be offended probably happy that he can make you happy, especially as he loves you :cute:
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    There are two ways to go about it really, either rather blunt or rather subtle.

    If you want to keep it subtle, then when he's doing something give direction. Harder, faster, up a bit, down a bit etc.

    Failing that, get onto the subject of sex, through text maybe if you find it very awkward and say something along the lines of 'I love it when you do X, but if you did a bit of Y like this it'd be great! And throughout the conversation encourage him to tell you if there's anything he particularly likes or wants done a bit differently.

    What's the point of having sex if it's not going to be good? It's a learning process with every person, what works with one wont work with another, the key is to be sensitive but open about it. I can only think of one time when I've really been annoyed or awkward about advice given by a girl, and that's because it amounted to 'This isn't working for me.' What are you supposed to do with that eh? Make it constructive and you'll both have a better sex life.
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    (Original post by AB25)
    I love my boyfriend loads and loads. We are capable of talking about anything with each other, are like best friends and are very much in love.

    However, a bit of a problem has arisen- I don't feel satisfied by sex with him because he isn't doing all the necessary things. He'll do one thing one night, a different thing the next, but he never pieces everything together. I know exactly what i want him to do. If he did it it would be perfect, not just for him or for me, for both of us.

    Lately only he has been feeling satisfied by sex and it's getting me down. I really want to tell him exactly how and what he has to do to make me feel great, but don't know how to go about doing this sensitivlety without making him feel crap or without me sounding incredibly selfish. I'd love him to just focus everything on me for once- it sounds selfish, doesn't it? But most nights i feel like i'm the one focussing on his satisfaction. I really care how he feels.

    Bless him, he does try. So when i tell him this he'll feel pretty bad :/ don't want to make him feel bad but i might have to if he is ever to learn what to do. How do I get my point across without offending him but saying everything i need to say?
    You have to be a bit careful here, because depending on the type of guy he is it could really damage his confidence. And the last thing you want is someone awkward in bed.

    Obviously you know him better than I do so you need to think how he would re-act to however you broke it to him. You could either tell him up straight or be subtle (like mentioned in the post above).

    Next time you have sex...when it's over tell him something he did and say it was amazing and he needs to do it every time. And keep doing this with different things. He's not stupid and will figure out this sudden new "do this next time" means he's not fully satisfying you. But if it we're me, I wouldn't be upset by this at all because of the way you introduced the problem to me. Being constructive rather than telling him he's bad. If you we're just to say to me something along the lines of I was bad in bed, I'd probably be a bit disappointed. Whereas if you say "do this more often" won't affect me at all.

    Long post...but hope that explains it!
 
 
 
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