Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Housemate and a guy I had something to do with watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Last year I had a brief thing with a guy. Nothing my happened but it meant something to me because it was the first time that I'd kissed a guy. He hurt me as I saw him hand in hand with his ex. He has never tried to explain anything to me. My housemate knows how much it hurt me, she was there when I saw him and saw my reaction.

    Anyway, a year has passed and although I've had to act polite to him at uni I've had nothing to do with him. My housemate seemed to becoming quite friendly with him. She had broken up with her fiance (only a month ago) and was spending more time with this guy, even posting things on facebook about what they were doing. I sent her a letter saying that I wasn't really happy with this, especially the fact that he had been round to our house which I'd rather he hadn't as he now knows where I live. And there were rumours going around that they'd been seen together. I told her how I felt about it and I hoped that she understood. She said it was nothing and that she just needed someone to talk to. I said that I understood and everything was fine. I tried my hardest not to make the situation awkward seen as we live together.

    I thought all of that had passed until last night when I went on Facebook and found out that they were in a relationship with each other. I found out on facebook!! She never spoke to me about it or anything like that. I feel betrayed. But most of all I feel trapped and like I can't escape. I have no where else to go apart from this house. There isn't many societies at uni which I can join. The only people I hang out with live with me. But I don't want to see my housemate and him so I feel like the only way I can avoid it all is to stay in my room. I moved a lot of my stuff to my room last night. I don't want to have to stay in my room but it seems like the only possible situation. I know that it's going to make life a lot harder as it will make me stress about uni more when it's just me on my own. I don't know what to do.

    Thanks for reading.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    It was a year ago and you only kissed him. There was no relationship between you and him.

    I'd say you are overreacting.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last year I had a brief thing with a guy. Nothing my happened but it meant something to me because it was the first time that I'd kissed a guy. He hurt me as I saw him hand in hand with his ex. He has never tried to explain anything to me. My housemate knows how much it hurt me, she was there when I saw him and saw my reaction.

    Anyway, a year has passed and although I've had to act polite to him at uni I've had nothing to do with him. My housemate seemed to becoming quite friendly with him. She had broken up with her fiance (only a month ago) and was spending more time with this guy, even posting things on facebook about what they were doing. I sent her a letter saying that I wasn't really happy with this, especially the fact that he had been round to our house which I'd rather he hadn't as he now knows where I live. And there were rumours going around that they'd been seen together. I told her how I felt about it and I hoped that she understood. She said it was nothing and that she just needed someone to talk to. I said that I understood and everything was fine. I tried my hardest not to make the situation awkward seen as we live together.

    I thought all of that had passed until last night when I went on Facebook and found out that they were in a relationship with each other. I found out on facebook!! She never spoke to me about it or anything like that. I feel betrayed. But most of all I feel trapped and like I can't escape. I have no where else to go apart from this house. There isn't many societies at uni which I can join. The only people I hang out with live with me. But I don't want to see my housemate and him so I feel like the only way I can avoid it all is to stay in my room. I moved a lot of my stuff to my room last night. I don't want to have to stay in my room but it seems like the only possible situation. I know that it's going to make life a lot harder as it will make me stress about uni more when it's just me on my own. I don't know what to do.

    Thanks for reading.

    It sounds like you're overreacting to me personally. You never actually had a relationship with him and you've had plenty of time to move on from it. I guess you still like him if it bothers you to see him with your house mate but the best advice I can give you is to just suck it up and don't let it come in the middle of your friendship. Don't isolate yourself over this one small thing because when/if they break up you'll find it hard to go back.
    I know it's hard but you can do it! Just act like you never kissed him, he's a complete stranger
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last year I had a brief thing with a guy. Nothing my happened but it meant something to me because it was the first time that I'd kissed a guy. He hurt me as I saw him hand in hand with his ex. He has never tried to explain anything to me. My housemate knows how much it hurt me, she was there when I saw him and saw my reaction.

    Anyway, a year has passed and although I've had to act polite to him at uni I've had nothing to do with him. My housemate seemed to becoming quite friendly with him. She had broken up with her fiance (only a month ago) and was spending more time with this guy, even posting things on facebook about what they were doing. I sent her a letter saying that I wasn't really happy with this, especially the fact that he had been round to our house which I'd rather he hadn't as he now knows where I live. And there were rumours going around that they'd been seen together. I told her how I felt about it and I hoped that she understood. She said it was nothing and that she just needed someone to talk to. I said that I understood and everything was fine. I tried my hardest not to make the situation awkward seen as we live together.

    I thought all of that had passed until last night when I went on Facebook and found out that they were in a relationship with each other. I found out on facebook!! She never spoke to me about it or anything like that. I feel betrayed. But most of all I feel trapped and like I can't escape. I have no where else to go apart from this house. There isn't many societies at uni which I can join. The only people I hang out with live with me. But I don't want to see my housemate and him so I feel like the only way I can avoid it all is to stay in my room. I moved a lot of my stuff to my room last night. I don't want to have to stay in my room but it seems like the only possible situation. I know that it's going to make life a lot harder as it will make me stress about uni more when it's just me on my own. I don't know what to do.

    Thanks for reading.
    i understand where you are coming from.. but a kiss is a kiss, it can mean something to someone but mean something totally different to some body else. Males have a complicated mind, females dont know how it works.. and we never will.
    just keep your chin up as it will get better through time :')
    move on and have some fun!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    People saying 'you only kissed him', a kiss can be pretty meaningful to people, especially the type of person (like OP) who doesn't kiss random people, it was her first kiss. I think you're right to feel betrayed especially since she didn't even tell you. Try to hang out with any other friends you may have and get closer to them, and as for the guy, don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know you still like him. Try to look at this as a way of seeing he was never right for you.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joker12345)
    People saying 'you only kissed him', a kiss can be pretty meaningful to people, especially the type of person (like OP) who doesn't kiss random people, it was her first kiss. I think you're right to feel betrayed especially since she didn't even tell you. Try to hang out with any other friends you may have and get closer to them, and as for the guy, don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know you still like him. Try to look at this as a way of seeing he was never right for you.
    Something brief, one kiss and not a relationship.
    Attaching feelings to that should not mean she is allowed to dictate who her friend has a relationship with and who she doesn't.

    The fact she is so hung up over a kiss over a year later isn't healthy and is just immature.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    All of you saying that it was just one kiss. There was more than one kiss. It was going on for a couple of weeks. We hung out and it really did seem like something was going to happen. It was basically what might have been seen as the very beginnings of a relationship before it was labelled one. I might seem immature to some of you, most people my age have been in several relationships but I still haven't had one. Of course I'm not going to be able to easily forget and attach no feelings to the first guy that paid attention to me and that I thought might turn into something more.

    I know that I cannot dictate who someone goes out with. I told her how I felt and even though I said that I wouldn't be 100% happy if anything happened between them it of course still hurts just a little bit. And to find out something like this on Facebook!!! She didn't even have the guts to tell me in person before everyone else found out.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by joker12345)
    People saying 'you only kissed him', a kiss can be pretty meaningful to people, especially the type of person (like OP) who doesn't kiss random people, it was her first kiss. I think you're right to feel betrayed especially since she didn't even tell you. Try to hang out with any other friends you may have and get closer to them, and as for the guy, don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know you still like him. Try to look at this as a way of seeing he was never right for you.
    Thanks very much for understanding what I was trying to say. When you are a person that doesn't go round kissing people, and he was the only one I have kissed, of course it means something.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by rubixcyoob)
    Something brief, one kiss and not a relationship.
    Attaching feelings to that should not mean she is allowed to dictate who her friend has a relationship with and who she doesn't.

    The fact she is so hung up over a kiss over a year later isn't healthy and is just immature.
    The principle is the same as that of people not dating friends exes. It wasn't nice of her friend to do, and IF the friend has really strong feelings for the guy, she should have at least discussed it with OP to let her know.
    I wouldn't call her immature for having feelings for a guy that lasted a year, or for not kissing lots of guys and therefore seeing a kiss as something meaningful - different people just have different attitudes to these things.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I would be pissed off too. I would at least expect my friend to give me some sort of warning, just out of decency. I obviously wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but I would know my friend considered my feelings.
    • #2
    #2

    I competley sympathise with you OP, I had a thing with a guy last year and when I found out he had a gf I was devastated. All I can suggest is that you try and find things to do that will keep you out of the house. And at least summer is near so you can go home soon.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    You're overreacting. It was one kiss, then an entire year later they get together? I'm sorry but they've done nothing wrong. You isolating yourself just looks really immature and to be honest they probably have barely any idea why you're bothered.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    All of you saying that it was just one kiss. There was more than one kiss. It was going on for a couple of weeks. We hung out and it really did seem like something was going to happen. It was basically what might have been seen as the very beginnings of a relationship before it was labelled one. I might seem immature to some of you, most people my age have been in several relationships but I still haven't had one. Of course I'm not going to be able to easily forget and attach no feelings to the first guy that paid attention to me and that I thought might turn into something more.

    I know that I cannot dictate who someone goes out with. I told her how I felt and even though I said that I wouldn't be 100% happy if anything happened between them it of course still hurts just a little bit. And to find out something like this on Facebook!!! She didn't even have the guts to tell me in person before everyone else found out.
    You've just said it was not a relationship. You liked a boy more than he liked you, he never betrayed trust/cheated etc. as there was nothing there to break apart.

    I'm sorry, but your housemate does not need your permission to go out with someone, someone who likes her back, just because a year ago you had some feelings for him which were not reciprocated.

    Hiding away and removing your stuff from the communal areas just to avoid someone is immature. In the big bad world you can't just shun people you may feel uncomfortable around like that, imagine trying to say you'll only ever sit at your desk/office in work and avoid anywhere else if something similar happened?
    I'm assuming you're of university age, yet you still act like a 'just turned' teenager crying over spilt milk.

    There was no relationship. You simply liked someone who didn't feel the same.
    It was a year ago.
    Your friend has found someone she likes, and he likes her.
    Who is being selfish here?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 14, 2013
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.