Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Should I feel anxious about relationship with boyfriend? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    By anxious I mean apprehensive about being in a relationship with him.

    So my boyfriend is 27 (28 in July) and is a single dad to a little girl who is just about to turn 7 (her mother passed away tragically a few months after her first birthday and he's taken care of her, alone, ever since) - that is not why I'm worried, she's amazing and we get on well.

    Me and him have an excellent relatonship - we have so much in common, can talk for hours, sit in comfortable silence and just tend to be on the same page about everything and anything. I've never felt more at ease with someone. His mother has also said I seem to be a good for him (she was drunk) and that she's not seen him as happy in a long time - as did a college friend.

    However, I've had horrible experiences with exes in the past, and that has lead to me having some major trust issues (I also suffer from EDNOS/BDD symptoms which includes anxiety etc). I don't see myself as any form of catch or someone that people would want to be with, and that makes me believe that something is bound to go wrong in the relationship for whatever reason.

    I went through a bad EDNOS/BDD anxiety phase a few nights ago and now I'm worried that my boyfriend's past relationship history spells no good for the future of ours.

    When the girl's mother died, they weren't in a relationship, but it obviously affected him. He had proposed to the girls mother because he wanted to make things work for his daughter and be a proper family. Obviously the loss of the relationship and then the emotional turmoil from the death would be a horrific thing to experience. I have no issues with him talking about her, as if I did I would almost be denying that his daughter had a mother which wouldn't be right at all. This was the

    After this he was with another girl for over almost two years and proposed to her. However, she was horrible and quite the bully towards him, turning the fact he was still mourning against him, kicked a door from the wall etc. (2008-2010)
    After this relationship he was single for a matter of weeks and then jumped into a relationship with another girl which lasted for about a year again. Then apparently this went tits up because of something he done. But while he was in the previous relationship he was friends with this girl and then I think it progressed after that (mid 2010 - mid 2011)
    He was then seeing a girl a few weeks after that and started a relationship with her but she cheated and he ended it (end 2011- start 2012)
    Then he was going on dates with a few people and then started a relationship with another girl which he also ended (mid/end 2012 - start 2013).
    After this girl he was seeing another girl for a month or two (a few dates but not a relationship). She couldn't handle the whole 'single dad' fact and went a bit demanding and he started to lose interest in her. However, on a night they went on a date, he asked me for a drink that weekend and then the night before we went for a drink he told her he could still see her after our drink (in the end he never did see her, ignored her all night, made sure I got home and then called things off completely the next day with her).

    I've only ever been in 3 relationships, all of which were over a year long and had long periods between them, and I've never really dated anyone before - which might be part of the worry.

    Part of me thinks it seems like he just jumps from one to the other, but then the other thinks that it may be 'normal' and nothing of concern - just because I never done that doesn't mean other people should, or that it means I'm a few months away from being replaced.

    Would you let it bother you/make you feel like the relationships on a countdown, or is it something that would be of little consequence to you, given that it's a good relationship and such?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Everyone has a history, especially when it comes to relationships. Just because he's had a fair few girlfriends in the past doesn't mean that you two won't be together forever - most of the happiest married couples I know have had several previous relationships.

    It sounds like there's been good reasons for the break up of the relationships each time and it also sounds like you two are very well matched and very happy - his own mother even said it! If you really are worried about it, have a talk with him and have him reassure you, he knows himself better than any of us internet people.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by jesseb1103)
    Everyone has a history, especially when it comes to relationships. Just because he's had a fair few girlfriends in the past doesn't mean that you two won't be together forever - most of the happiest married couples I know have had several previous relationships.

    It sounds like there's been good reasons for the break up of the relationships each time and it also sounds like you two are very well matched and very happy - his own mother even said it! If you really are worried about it, have a talk with him and have him reassure you, he knows himself better than any of us internet people.
    Yeah I suppose you're right. I guess it's just one of the phases I'm going through - I've normally been cheated on by now in relationships that I almost expect it to go wrong around this time. It's probably just me being silly and it all being in my head
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 14, 2013
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.