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    There are many times I've read or listened to conversations whereby someone (person A) would complain about their parent(s) and the abuse/ill treatment they believe they're getting from their parents. Then, there'll always be someone who puts down and condemns person A for complaining and will say something along the lines of:

    "They put a roof above your head, they put food on the table, your heating, electricity & water is paid for by them; anything you need towards your education provided. Why aren't you grateful for everything they've done for you?!!11! Stop complaining and grow up!"

    Now, I believe the whole point of being a parent is to support your child(ren) and make them the best they can be in life. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't have kids in the first place. Just watch animals/nature. Their whole point is to pass on their genes to their offspring to ensure the survival of their species. But they want their offspring to be the best they can be to survive. So what do the animals do? They try to pass on the best genes they can to their offspring. The female animal usually watches the males compete and then selects who she thinks is the best male. This male is likely to have the best genes that will ensure their offspring survives and lives a good life. And after the offspring grows up, they usually leave their parents for good and do their own thing. This means the offspring won't be around to care for their mother/parents when they are old.

    So why do humans think children should be grateful to their parents for basically doing what is supposed to be their duty as parents? What kind of parent doesn't want their child(ren) to have the best life they can have?

    Spoiler:
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    Another argument I've come across is that because the parents gave the child life, the child should be eternally grateful to their parents. But that makes no sense. The child never asked to be born. It was the parents' decision to create one, not the child. It's like someone washing your car without your consent, then asking you to pay for it. Surely you'll tell them to get lost. But when it comes to parents creating a child, apparently the child should be grateful for being created without any consent? Yes, it may be impossible to try and get consent from a child you haven't created yet but surely if you're gonna create the child and bring the child into the world intentionally, you should at least try and give the child the best life they can have (or as close to "best" as is possible)?

    Additionally, why should the child be grateful for being given life? Life might be filled with some pleasant things but it's also filled with pain. There's racism, sexism, psychos, diseases, bullies, judgemental pricks, intense competition for resources, natural disasters, terrorists etc. So the child should be grateful for being brought in this kind of life? What about the people that have committed suicide or are chronically depressed? You think they're grateful for being brought into this world?

    Hence why I believe there's no reason a child should take abuse/crap from their parents nor should they have to be grateful for anything their parents have provided them. I'm not saying children should be rude/disrespectful/rebellious against their parents. But it's not disrespectful to not want take abuse/ill treatment from your parents, is it?

    Also, where do you draw the line? Should a father be allowed to rape his daughter just because "hey *****, I put a roof above yo' head and put food on da table, so be a grateful ***** and let me **** you up da ass"? Should a mother be allowed to bully her kids because "hey you pieces of ****, didn't u know dat I carried y'all in ma womb fo' 9 months each? So allow me to continue bullying you"?

    Additionally, I don't believe children are obliged to do anything good to their parents just because their parents created them and provided for their needs. I don't believe children owe their parents anything. I believe children should do good towards parents only because they have a good relationship with them. I have a good relationship with my parents and plan on financially supporting their care when they're old. But it's not because I'm repaying any "debt" that I apparently owe them for creating me and providing for my needs. It's rather because I have a good relationship with them.

    When you bear all these things in mind, don't you wonder why society generally seems to condemn a child for not wanting to be treated like a crap and then claim they're being rebellious? Why do they seem to generally support the notion that it's not a parent's duty to give their child(ren) the best life they can? That the child(ren) should be grateful even if they're living in deep poverty? But the child(ren) should be grateful because even though they're starving and don't have a comfortable life, the parent(s) has done just about enough to keep them alive?


    What do you think? Do we owe our parents for giving us life and keeping us alive? Should we take abuse from them because they put a roof above our head and put food on the table? Are we obliged to do good towards them (e.g. caring for them when they're old) because they brought us into this world and kept us alive?

    P.S. Everything in the OP is just my opinion. I don't believe my opinions are objectively right. I'm not completely making a fallacious appeal to nature by using animals to back up my opinion as I don't believe everything in nature is objectively right/correct. It's just that in that particular case of animals generally working towards giving their offspring the best life possible, I agree with it and believe children don't owe their parents anything for the parents doing what I believe is their basic duty. I'm lucky to have had good parents admittedly but I sympathise with people who have to take crap from their parents but aren't in a great position to do anything about it.

    I welcome every neg I will get for this post. It's all part and parcel of being controversial . But it would be nice for the forum if people tried to have some discussion/debate after negging, rather than just "HOW DARE U NOT APPRECIATE EVERYTHING UR PARENTS DID FOR U??!! NEG NEG NEG NEEEEGGGGGGGG!!11!" and offer nothing to the debate.
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    I agree wholly with people who say that.

    Most people who complain about their parents have first world problems, or cannot manage/handle people properly. I think that's why people make comments as you cite, since it seems ungrateful. Also, all relationships have some troubles, even minor. If a friend does something you don't like, do you end the friendship there and then? Would the whiny child when s/he is married get a divorce if his or her spouse went out to get milk and bread but forgot the milk?

    If a child complains about:

    - "My dad shouted at me for not picking up the rubbish and putting it in the wheelie bin!" - So? Grow a pair, and realise your dad doesn't want a stinky and unsanitary house.

    - "My mum said that I cannot go out with my mates clubbing" - And? Maybe she thinks it's unsafe. Or that she doesn't approve of clubbing. Yeah, having morals and values and caring about their son/daughters welfare is evil and worse than Stalin...

    - "My mum gives my elder sister more free time outside at nights" - Eh? Yeah.. and older persons have more rights and responsibilities for kicks lol...

    I think many persons in our society who complain about their parents do so for really poor reasons, and not for reasons that constitute true abuse. Another thing is that modern society has very PC parenting beliefs, and thinks parents and children are some kind of partnership lol... lol... I think if parents treat their children well (no major physical or verbal abuse, provide basic clothing, health and shelter needs, etc.) then a little "unfairness" or discomfort is fine.

    Also, why are you comparing humans to animals? Our parent/child relationships are unique, since most species don't even care for their young and leave them to fend for themselves a lot of the time. We probably one of the few species to have lifelong parent/child bonds. Your argument is like saying "well snakes eat their prey whole, that is good, so we should grow fangs, produce venom, bite animals and swallow them whole after they've died"...
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    Also, I don't think many would tell a child to respect/love parents who abuse them. Your points in general are based on fallacies.

    Kind of reminds me of Kevin the Teenager lol.. Yeah, he hates his parents for there "never being anything to eat", but who buys the food? Who works to get the money to buy the food, and who works to pay the money for the means to cook it? lol..
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    The idea is you repay your parents through raising your own kids. Your parents were raised by people too.
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    Yes, if your parents treat you well(even if all they give you is the basics) i think you owe them respect and to make something out of your life and treat them well when they're old too.

    But most people who complain about their parents are just selfish little brats who think their parents are bad parents because their mum didn't make their tea or buy them an ipod or their parents can't pay for them to go on a school trip. We're so used to getting everything we want that when we get told "no" we feel like we're being mistreated
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    we owe it to them, to be better then they were

    Each generation learning from, and improving on the last.
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    All parents were kids once, but usually kids have never been in their parents shoes (only when you are a parent in turn do you realize how much your own parents toiled, sacrificed, gave, worried, were patient for you, often asking the very bare minimum that common decency calls for). But kids dont see all that, they are utterly oblivious to all this and are only aware about what drop-in-the-teapot didnt go their way and think all is owed to them.
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    I have my mother owe a lot, in contrast to my father who left me and my mother when I was 4 years old. She gave me my free space which I need to grow.
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    Personally I don't think so, you don't exactly ask to be born & if I were to give a random stranger £1m in the street I wouldn't expect him to be my slave or anything. If I chose to be a parent I'd think I have a duty to love them take care of them etc until at least they're legally considered an adult. I wouldn't really expect anything back though. I'd do it from the own goodness of my heart not because I want to be repaid in the future, I'd be happy enough if they just grew up to be decent people.
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    I love my parents! I owe them so much, they've supported me through everything. I would do anything for them in the future.
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    I dont think I owe them, but for some reason, I think my mum has got it in her head, that I owe them.


    Its complicated, because I can see both sides, like I should look after my parents and support them, mainly because they did the same thing and did sacrifices when I was young. But at the same time, I will have my owe children (perhaps) in the future.

    I guess what makes it more complex is that generations change and people seem to view the young as naive ( youth is wasted on the young quote).
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    I feel that I owe my parents a lot. They gave me a wonderful childhood, great oppurtunities and helped me to acheive my potential. I know that they will continue to support me in whatever I choose to do in the future. I am incredibly grateful to them and I will do anything I can to help them out in the future. We've never been poor, but one of my goals in life is to earn a good income so that I can (with the help of my sisters) support them when they are old.

    I realise that not everyone has such a good relationship with their parents. Whether you "owe" them anything is personal to you and depends on many factors.
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    My parents and I have had countless arguments and trust issues with them (especially my mum - we have a considerably bad history that has been forgiven and forgotten). Dad wasn't really around when I was young, since he was always at work.
    I'm personally not the most affectionate person when it comes to family, but I do love and respect them.
    Funny, they still don't expect anything in return.

    Like the people above, I also believe that people who have bad relationships with their parents (i.e. left, abused) have the right to not owe them anything.

    I also don't like brats who complain that their parents are evil because they didn't buy the brats a new car or smartphone. But then again, maybe the parents are too lenient and they easily give in. :hmmm:
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    It's difficult because children don't ask to be born, it's their parents responsibility to make sure they survive. I can't understand people who have children aware of financial insecurity or mistreat them. If you create life you can't opt out, that's basic decency.

    I won't accept the 'respect your elders' attitude, just because they're older than you. I respect my parents because they're supporting, however I won't expect other children to respect their parents if they were abused.

    On the other hand, I dislike it when children complain about their parents or overreact, because it could be much worse, or begrudge their parents for circumstances beyond their parents' control. Though I won't understand parents who actually say to their child 'you're so spoiled', who's fault is that...I wonder? Perhaps if they're a teenager and responsible for their actions, but not a child as they are very much under parental influence at this age.

    On the whole, I wouldn't say we owe our parents just for being our creators, because they could be abusive/manipulative, and it's their basic responsibility to look after you. But it's up to the child if they want to return the favours, like the parents in their old age being looked after by their child instead of sent to a retirement centre.
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    Depends. Personally I feel I owe my parents a great deal. They've done incredible amounts for me, and I am very thankful for that.
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    Your parents could've left you on the street... Just saying'.
    You support your parents just because they old and you have a good relationship? That is some big bull**** right there. Like I said they could've left you to die.
    You support them cause they supported you, but that isn't an excuse for them to abuse you obviously.
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    It depends on what your parents have done for you and it also comes down to what type of person you are, like I've seen parents who go through so much just to put food on the table for their children and yet once those children are older they disrespect them so much- like why? there's so many parents that walk out and there you had your parents who were struggling but still provided you with the best and now you're old enough to fend for yourself you forget them? that's just wrong. I'm not saying you have to pay off their mortgage or give them money, but a call home to check if they're okay is enough to make them happy!

    However if your parents were unable to care for you properly because of their own selfish needs then I would understand why you wouldn't owe them anything because what have they done for you?

    I feel like I owe my parents something because even though I knew they couldn't care for me as much as they cared for my older sibling they still tried, and I'd like to think that if I ever have children they would know that I would do anything to keep them happy- to a limit obviously.

    Also I totally agree with the not being asked to be born thing but why should our parents feel guilty for wanting children? even though being here sucks sometimes.
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    (Original post by Cable)
    There are many times I've read or listened to conversations whereby someone (person A) would complain about their parent(s) and the abuse/ill treatment they believe they're getting from their parents. Then, there'll always be someone who puts down and condemns person A for complaining and will say something along the lines of:

    "They put a roof above your head, they put food on the table, your heating, electricity & water is paid for by them; anything you need towards your education provided. Why aren't you grateful for everything they've done for you?!!11! Stop complaining and grow up!"

    Now, I believe the whole point of being a parent is to support your child(ren) and make them the best they can be in life. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't have kids in the first place. Just watch animals/nature. Their whole point is to pass on their genes to their offspring to ensure the survival of their species. But they want their offspring to be the best they can be to survive. So what do the animals do? They try to pass on the best genes they can to their offspring. The female animal usually watches the males compete and then selects who she thinks is the best male. This male is likely to have the best genes that will ensure their offspring survives and lives a good life. And after the offspring grows up, they usually leave their parents for good and do their own thing. This means the offspring won't be around to care for their mother/parents when they are old.

    So why do humans think children should be grateful to their parents for basically doing what is supposed to be their duty as parents? What kind of parent doesn't want their child(ren) to have the best life they can have?

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Another argument I've come across is that because the parents gave the child life, the child should be eternally grateful to their parents. But that makes no sense. The child never asked to be born. It was the parents' decision to create one, not the child. It's like someone washing your car without your consent, then asking you to pay for it. Surely you'll tell them to get lost. But when it comes to parents creating a child, apparently the child should be grateful for being created without any consent? Yes, it may be impossible to try and get consent from a child you haven't created yet but surely if you're gonna create the child and bring the child into the world intentionally, you should at least try and give the child the best life they can have (or as close to "best" as is possible)?

    Additionally, why should the child be grateful for being given life? Life might be filled with some pleasant things but it's also filled with pain. There's racism, sexism, psychos, diseases, bullies, judgemental pricks, intense competition for resources, natural disasters, terrorists etc. So the child should be grateful for being brought in this kind of life? What about the people that have committed suicide or are chronically depressed? You think they're grateful for being brought into this world?

    Hence why I believe there's no reason a child should take abuse/crap from their parents nor should they have to be grateful for anything their parents have provided them. I'm not saying children should be rude/disrespectful/rebellious against their parents. But it's not disrespectful to not want take abuse/ill treatment from your parents, is it?

    Also, where do you draw the line? Should a father be allowed to rape his daughter just because "hey *****, I put a roof above yo' head and put food on da table, so be a grateful ***** and let me **** you up da ass"? Should a mother be allowed to bully her kids because "hey you pieces of ****, didn't u know dat I carried y'all in ma womb fo' 9 months each? So allow me to continue bullying you"?

    Additionally, I don't believe children are obliged to do anything good to their parents just because their parents created them and provided for their needs. I don't believe children owe their parents anything. I believe children should do good towards parents only because they have a good relationship with them. I have a good relationship with my parents and plan on financially supporting their care when they're old. But it's not because I'm repaying any "debt" that I apparently owe them for creating me and providing for my needs. It's rather because I have a good relationship with them.

    When you bear all these things in mind, don't you wonder why society generally seems to condemn a child for not wanting to be treated like a crap and then claim they're being rebellious? Why do they seem to generally support the notion that it's not a parent's duty to give their child(ren) the best life they can? That the child(ren) should be grateful even if they're living in deep poverty? But the child(ren) should be grateful because even though they're starving and don't have a comfortable life, the parent(s) has done just about enough to keep them alive?


    What do you think? Do we owe our parents for giving us life and keeping us alive? Should we take abuse from them because they put a roof above our head and put food on the table? Are we obliged to do good towards them (e.g. caring for them when they're old) because they brought us into this world and kept us alive?

    P.S. Everything in the OP is just my opinion. I don't believe my opinions are objectively right. I'm not completely making a fallacious appeal to nature by using animals to back up my opinion as I don't believe everything in nature is objectively right/correct. It's just that in that particular case of animals generally working towards giving their offspring the best life possible, I agree with it and believe children don't owe their parents anything for the parents doing what I believe is their basic duty. I'm lucky to have had good parents admittedly but I sympathise with people who have to take crap from their parents but aren't in a great position to do anything about it.

    I welcome every neg I will get for this post. It's all part and parcel of being controversial . But it would be nice for the forum if people tried to have some discussion/debate after negging, rather than just "HOW DARE U NOT APPRECIATE EVERYTHING UR PARENTS DID FOR U??!! NEG NEG NEG NEEEEGGGGGGGG!!11!" and offer nothing to the debate.
    You absolutely owe your parents respect while you are actively receiving that support. If they threaten to revoke their support because they disapprove of your behavior, then get over it. That is their prerogative. Once you are truly on your own, then the prerogative is yours. Negligent parents of course deserve no courtesy.

    Kids who are still kids living through the support of their parents usually feel that they are magically entitled to complete freedom despite the fact that they are largely dependent on others. Freedom comes with independence not maturity.
 
 
 
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