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If you dont want a baby enough to adopt one, you dont really want a baby? watch

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    I posted a thread on a parenting forum about having a baby at a late age. I mentioned that Ive no partner/boyfriend as Ive never had the urge to have sex or be with someone. I was asking about the pro's con's of getting pregnant having a baby at a late age - say late 30's- (im currently 28) as I do want kids eventually but need time to settle down/meet someone/to mate etc.

    Someone suggested the idea of adopting and I said I didnt want to adopt I wanted one of my own. People then started saying that if I didnt want a baby enough to adopt one then I didnt really want a baby.

    Thing is I want to go the evolution theory route and spread my genes lol, I want my own! Why should I feel guilty for not taking on a 'mistake' of other people? Women have loads of children Im only talking about one and people are saying that I cant want a baby if I dont want to adopt. Why doesnt this apply to everyone else who wants their own kids then?
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    Not all children who need adopted were other people's "mistakes"...


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    Adopting a baby is completely different to having your own.
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    (Original post by inthedark1)
    I posted a thread on a parenting forum about having a baby at a late age. I mentioned that Ive no partner/boyfriend as Ive never had the urge to have sex or be with someone. I was asking about the pro's con's of getting pregnant having a baby at a late age - say late 30's- (im currently 28) as I do want kids eventually but need time to settle down/meet someone/to mate etc.

    Someone suggested the idea of adopting and I said I didnt want to adopt I wanted one of my own. People then started saying that if I didnt want a baby enough to adopt one then I didnt really want a baby.

    Thing is I want to go the evolution theory route and spread my genes lol, I want my own! Why should I feel guilty for not taking on a 'mistake' of other people? Women have loads of children Im only talking about one and people are saying that I cant want a baby if I dont want to adopt. Why doesnt this apply to everyone else who wants their own kids then?
    :troll:
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    (Original post by I love being 21)
    :troll:
    Someone likes being with people so much they can't understand how anyone else doesnt lol.
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    (Original post by inthedark1)
    Someone likes being with people so much they can't understand how anyone else doesnt lol.

    Hello


    First thing that gave it away is you said you were a 28 yr old virgin
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    (Original post by I love being 21)
    Hello


    First thing that gave it away is you said you were a 28 yr old virgin
    Gave what away? Dont know what you are on about winking and everything my thread is about having babies! I am a virgin as people like to call it.
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    (Original post by inthedark1)
    Gave what away? Dont know what you are on about winking and everything my thread is about having babies! I am a virgin as people like to call it.




    What do you do for a living?

    Random I know, just trying to work out something
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    Adopting a child is different. I've never really considered adopting, I've always wanted my own kids. Nothing wrong with that. There's people that only want to adopt- each to their own.
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    (Original post by I love being 21)
    What do you do for a living?

    Random I know, just trying to work out something
    work what out?
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    Adopting a child is different. I've never really considered adopting, I've always wanted my own kids. Nothing wrong with that. There's people that only want to adopt- each to their own.
    Thats what I thought hah, theres a reason most people have their own.

    to whoever negged.. ok then theres no reason why most people have their own lol
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    (Original post by inthedark1)
    work what out?


    :eek3:
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    Obviously an adopted child won't be related to you, so what's the actual point you're trying to get across?
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    (Original post by i90Elite)
    Obviously an adopted child won't be related to you, so what's the actual point you're trying to get across?
    WORD
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    Some people only want their own biological children,some people would like children so much they would be happy to adopt if for whatever reason they couldn't have their own genetic children. I'm in the later category but I knowpeople that would rather not have children if they couldn't have their own.
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    (Original post by i90Elite)
    Obviously an adopted child won't be related to you, so what's the actual point you're trying to get across?
    I was questioning why some people assume that if you dont want to adopt then you dont really want a baby at all.
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    Theres nothing wrong with wanting to have your own child, in my personal opinion its mainly for your own curiosity to see what they will look like, you can adopt a baby and it will be almost the same as bringing up your own child. One day I want to be rich/stable enough to adopt an older child.
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    There's a lot of restrictions on adoption which can make the process really difficult, especially if you want a baby from birth rather than a toddler/young child. I've heard of people being ticked off for things like smoking, or past diagnoses of anxiety or stress related insomnia - even if it was just one visit to the GP for 1 month's anti-anxiety meds. (As if biological families never go through the same thing).

    I've always been open to the idea of adoption, if I was say 38 and had no prospect of conceiving I'd be more than happy to adopt from overseas where babies are abandoned by the hundreds, but that's just me. One of my teachers adopted a young boy who'd been neglected she had to take the full year's adoption leave to take care of him and introduce him to a normal life - it's very commendable but maybe that's not what everyone wants to do?

    By the way, please don't say 'lol' when you're making an argument. It weakens it and I can't see where the humour is frankly...
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    (Original post by rosee92)
    There's a lot of restrictions on adoption which can make the process really difficult, especially if you want a baby from birth rather than a toddler/young child. I've heard of people being ticked off for things like smoking, or past diagnoses of anxiety or stress related insomnia - even if it was just one visit to the GP for 1 month's anti-anxiety meds. (As if biological families never go through the same thing).

    I've always been open to the idea of adoption, if I was say 38 and had no prospect of conceiving I'd be more than happy to adopt from overseas where babies are abandoned by the hundreds, but that's just me. One of my teachers adopted a young boy who'd been neglected she had to take the full year's adoption leave to take care of him and introduce him to a normal life - it's very commendable but maybe that's not what everyone wants to do?

    By the way, please don't say 'lol' when you're making an argument. It weakens it and I can't see where the humour is frankly...

    I use lol to just to lighten the conversation as some people take debates/banter so seriously and im more chilled out. I find that if people are sarcastic/rude to you posting a reply with lol in it tends to annoy them even more


    I wouldnt totally dismiss adoption like you said if at 38 you really want a child but cant have your own I can see the reason to adopt. Thats interesting about not being able to adopt with a short history of anxiety. Doesnt make much sense since different stressors can trigger anxiety for different people and anyone can develop it.

    Anyway yea its just the whole 'oh you cant really want a baby if you dont want to adopt' that was said to me on another forum that I dont get.
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    (Original post by inthedark1)
    I use lol to just to lighten the conversation as some people take debates/banter so seriously and im more chilled out. I find that if people are sarcastic/rude to you posting a reply with lol in it tends to annoy them even more


    I wouldnt totally dismiss adoption like you said if at 38 you really want a child but cant have your own I can see the reason to adopt. Thats interesting about not being able to adopt with a short history of anxiety. Doesnt make much sense since different stressors can trigger anxiety for different people and anyone can develop it.

    Anyway yea its just the whole 'oh you cant really want a baby if you dont want to adopt' that was said to me on another forum that I dont get.
    The beauty of modern society is that we can make these choices... I think some people, especially when it gets to children, get very self righteous. Next time I'd just say "So, how many children have you adopted then?"
 
 
 
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