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My boyfriend is stuck in a rubbish job and I've got aspirations for university? watch

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    My boyfriend is 2 years older than me but he dropped out of college after the first year and only has level 2 qualifications. He did really bad on his GCSEs (like most apart from sport and ICT were D's and E's) and now he's stuck being a kitchen assistant. It annoys me because I'm trying my hardest to get into a good university and I'm worried that when I go I'll be leaving behind because I've advanced and he hasn't.

    I keep telling him that he needs to go back to college and do something, and retake maths GCSE, or even go for an apprenticeship but he never seems to bother even looking for anything. I've also suggested the open university because at least then he can work at his own pace (I couldn't find any entry requirements for OU).

    What can I do to at least get him to put some effort into improving his future? He's really not happy about where he is but he never seems to try and change anything?
    Please help!
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    (Original post by zohmygoditsgabby)
    My boyfriend is 2 years older than me but he dropped out of college after the first year and only has level 2 qualifications. He did really bad on his GCSEs (like most apart from sport and ICT were D's and E's) and now he's stuck being a kitchen assistant. It annoys me because I'm trying my hardest to get into a good university and I'm worried that when I go I'll be leaving behind because I've advanced and he hasn't.

    I keep telling him that he needs to go back to college and do something, and retake maths GCSE, or even go for an apprenticeship but he never seems to bother even looking for anything. I've also suggested the open university because at least then he can work at his own pace (I couldn't find any entry requirements for OU).

    What can I do to at least get him to put some effort into improving his future? He's really not happy about where he is but he never seems to try and change anything?
    Please help!
    There might be other alternatives that he could consider. Since he doesn't have a full level 3 qualification than going back to college is a good option. He still get funding for it as long as he is under 24 years old. I suggest he does either a Level 3 BTEC course in IT, Sports or maybe something new like Business, Public Service or even Media if he into that sort of thing. I have bad GCSE myself, I managed to finish college and get level 3 BTEC.

    I know plenty of people who done bad at GCSE but managed to do fine in college and go to university. I think he in the phase where he feels like failure and that there no hope left. I felt like that when I finish college because experience was more important than qualifications as it seems.

    So going college and keeping Kitchen assistant as part time job as source of income will be good. There aren't many good apprenticeship worth doing. Apart from that good luck.
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    I don't want to leave him feeling insecure and if he was happy then I'd be happy but he does moan about it a lot and the way his work messes up our plans so much and he has no say. Every time I've suggested something he's been all for looking into it and thats as far as it goes, I don't think he knows what he wants to do as a career so thats putting him off too. I need to find a way to make him have confidence that he can get somewhere?

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    (Original post by zohmygoditsgabby)
    My boyfriend is 2 years older than me but he dropped out of college after the first year and only has level 2 qualifications. He did really bad on his GCSEs (like most apart from sport and ICT were D's and E's) and now he's stuck being a kitchen assistant. It annoys me because I'm trying my hardest to get into a good university and I'm worried that when I go I'll be leaving behind because I've advanced and he hasn't.

    I keep telling him that he needs to go back to college and do something, and retake maths GCSE, or even go for an apprenticeship but he never seems to bother even looking for anything. I've also suggested the open university because at least then he can work at his own pace (I couldn't find any entry requirements for OU).

    What can I do to at least get him to put some effort into improving his future? He's really not happy about where he is but he never seems to try and change anything?
    Please help!
    He hasn't been a minimum wage boot licker for long enough. After a while, it will get to him.
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    At the end of the day he has to make the effort. You can present him with all the opportunities you like, but if he's not motivated then it's not going to happen. You have to instil a greater sense of encouragement?
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    "I went for the bad-boy highschool drop out and now can't turn him around"

    Classic case.
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    (Original post by OMGWTFBBQ)
    "I went for the bad-boy highschool drop out and now can't turn him around"

    Classic case.
    Lol that's cold, man.
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    My boyfriend was in the same position. He didn't do well at school at all..
    He is now a completely different person and doing well at college.. However I didn't have much trouble persuading him to change his ways..
    I think a lot of the change came as a result of maturity but, I think a little of it was seeing what I was achieving and he was jealous and wanted to achieve himself..
    I think college will definitely be good for him because it will give him something to aim for. Try persuading him by offering to go with him to open days and help him apply!


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    (Original post by Herrington_x)
    My boyfriend was in the same position. He didn't do well at school at all..
    He is now a completely different person and doing well at college.. However I didn't have much trouble persuading him to change his ways..
    I think a lot of the change came as a result of maturity but, I think a little of it was seeing what I was achieving and he was jealous and wanted to achieve himself..
    I think college will definitely be good for him because it will give him something to aim for. Try persuading him by offering to go with him to open days and help him apply!


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    (Original post by zohmygoditsgabby)
    My boyfriend is 2 years older than me but he dropped out of college after the first year and only has level 2 qualifications. He did really bad on his GCSEs (like most apart from sport and ICT were D's and E's) and now he's stuck being a kitchen assistant. It annoys me because I'm trying my hardest to get into a good university and I'm worried that when I go I'll be leaving behind because I've advanced and he hasn't.

    I keep telling him that he needs to go back to college and do something, and retake maths GCSE, or even go for an apprenticeship but he never seems to bother even looking for anything. I've also suggested the open university because at least then he can work at his own pace (I couldn't find any entry requirements for OU).

    What can I do to at least get him to put some effort into improving his future? He's really not happy about where he is but he never seems to try and change anything?
    Please help!
    (Original post by Ace Ten)
    He hasn't been a minimum wage boot licker for long enough. After a while, it will get to him.
    Your boyfriend's sound very much like myself a couple of years ago when I was in college/school. I did terrible in my compulsory education, I was statistically the 2nd or 3rd worst (consistently) in the entire school when it came to grades, in both College (A level) and School (GCSE), I literally didn't know where I wanted to be, and anything I did want to do was out of my reach academically, mainly because I was forced into subjects that bored me or I just disliked.

    Now the quote from Ace Ten about was meant to be funny, I'm sure... However its also very true. I was told repeated I would never make it in life, nothing whatsoever... not even a "binman" from teachers, friends and my family, I was in a minimum wage job for about a year and one day something clicked inside my head and I thought " **** this, I want to make something of my life!" ... I took up college, got my grades and got into one for the top 10-15 most competitive degree courses in the country with a 15-20% acceptance rate depending on the University.

    Moral of the story is, no matter how much you try to push someone into something, unless they want it with every fibre of their existence, they will fail. Zohmygoditsgabby, your boyfriend needs to find what he enjoys and only he can do that; until he does your efforts will go unnoticed & you will end up frustrating yourself.
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    (Original post by OMGWTFBBQ)
    "I went for the bad-boy highschool drop out and now can't turn him around"

    Classic case.
    haha. zing.
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    Subtle suggestions are best, but he may just not be interested in studying right now. Perhaps he'll get back into it in 10 years or something? You shouldn't rush people, and if he has told you it's not for him you should respect his decision. There is a lot more to life than getting academic qualifications, believe it or not.
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    So he is in a dead end job and you are about to embark on a 3 year semi-holiday before getting stuck into your dead end job...

    But seriously, why presume that you are such a high flier at this stage. With three years on you, there is every chance that he will be more successful than you from this vantage point, or at least there is no reason to suspect that what you are doing gives you such a great shot at a top career.

    In any case, the guy is like 19 or 20 and clearly doesn't know what he wants to do yet. Maybe it isn't a huge priority to him. I don't think people on this website realise that for most young guys - obsessing over career paths and universities isn't the be all and end all for most.

    I would back off and let him figure out what he wants to do in his own time and on his own terms and if you can't handle that - just drop him and go for a college boy instead.
 
 
 
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