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Over protective parents - mum in particular Watch

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    Hi!

    Well, basically I'm going to uni in September and moving out to live in halls (50+ miles away, 18 year old male) but my mum refuses to believe I have grown up.

    She is currently in Ireland with my dad celebrating their 25th anniversary and she has done nothing but nag and phone and text all day every day. I just feel that she needs to release her grip on us (me and my 2 older brothers 21 & 23)

    We've all been to uni and she just can't let go.

    For instance, I told her I was going away for the day to Edinburgh and she did nothing but text me ALL day. I had to lie and say I went to Edinburgh, but instead I went to Glasgow to meet a friend, a further 35 miles away from home because if she knew the truth, even though she's out of the country, I'd be made to feel guilty for doing it.

    I'm basically at the end of my tether and I just want some reassurances really - is this normal? what should I do about it because it's really starting to **** me off.

    TL;dr probably but basically - are over protective parents common and how do I slowly loosen her grip on me?! (other than move out permanently which I can't afford)

    Thanks in advance!
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    Most parents are over protective...yu should be luck tht yu aint a girl tho.
    Both my parents worry about me all the time...this is also similar to my friends. So it is normal to have over protective parents.
    However, you're 18. This is where yu have to prove your mum tht yur a full grown adult, not a child. I just guess tht she is worrying about you or may be she feels sad knowing yu have grown and she doesnt want yu to grow so quickly...

    Either way...yu have to talk and prove to her tht yur a full grown adult.

    Btw..if yur asian (like me) then it will all probably end once you marry :P

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    My mum texted me very often in the first couple of weeks that I was at uni. I just only replied when I felt like it and she's slowed it down now
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    (Original post by _whatever_)
    Most parents are over protective...yu should be luck tht yu aint a girl tho.
    Both my parents worry about me all the time...this is also similar to my friends. So it is normal to have over protective parents.
    However, you're 18. This is where yu have to prove your mum tht yur a full grown adult, not a child. I just guess tht she is worrying about you or may be she feels sad knowing yu have grown and she doesnt want yu to grow so quickly...

    Either way...yu have to talk and prove to her tht yur a full grown adult.

    Btw..if yur asian (like me) then it will all probably end once you marry :P

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    Not necessarily true . I know my mum would still want to keep her eye on me even when i have my own family
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    Be reasonable, it will be a difficult time for her.
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    My mother is very, very protective - she's against my going to uni anywhere she can't easily move to the vicinity. This rather stuck a pin in my thought-bubble of going to Harvard College. She never let me travel short journeys alone until I was 16, wouldn't let me go to a boarding sixth form, and would be terrified by the idea of my leaving our street without her, were it not for my having been hospitalised. The hospital staff are somewhat more liberal than my mother!

    Still, it's important to see the matter from her perspective. Are there any reasons for your mother's protectiveness? My mother dedicated years and thousands of pounds of fertility treatment to having me, only to give birth four months prematurely, and spent much of my early childhood being told by doctors that I was almost dead. So I understand my mother's overpritectiveness. It's not justified, however, and I hope that we can come to a compromise some time soon. I'm tired of being stifled.
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    I am a mum. I wish that mobile phones had never been invented. They are like a ball and chain for you to carry with you. I am as bad as any other mum when it comes to keeping tabs on teenage daughter.
    BUT I have a memory of having to tell my own mother where I was going and being told what time to come home. I did not always go to the place I said I would be at. We did have a phone, but it was a shared line and we did not use it after 9pm. If I was late home my dad would yell at the top of his voice as I walked up the road. I was embarrassed to know him. I did not get lost or into scrapes that I could not get out of, but I was very aware of my own safety. We are forever ebing told how dngerous the world is and how self aware you younger people need to be. There are some bad people who may hurt our babies, and our job is to protect you, just like my mum and dad.
    Your mum loves you and is just having trouble letting you go. I hope that you guys tidied up the house and put a big bunch of fresh flowers in a vase for her return,
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    ok
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    (Original post by _whatever_)
    Btw..if yur asian (like me) then it will all probably end once you marry :P

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    I'm not asian but I still think it's too far..

    (Original post by Rob da Mop)
    My mum texted me very often in the first couple of weeks that I was at uni. I just only replied when I felt like it and she's slowed it down now
    God help me if I don't reply within 5 seconds, I'd have been phoned 20 times..

    (Original post by Iron Lady)
    Be reasonable, it will be a difficult time for her.
    Thats kind of why I came on here, I'm not good at handling these sort of things with care..

    (Original post by lethean girl)
    My mother is very, very protective - she's against my going to uni anywhere she can't easily move to the vicinity. This rather stuck a pin in my thought-bubble of going to Harvard College. She never let me travel short journeys alone until I was 16, wouldn't let me go to a boarding sixth form, and would be terrified by the idea of my leaving our street without her, were it not for my having been hospitalised. The hospital staff are somewhat more liberal than my mother!

    Still, it's important to see the matter from her perspective. Are there any reasons for your mother's protectiveness? My mother dedicated years and thousands of pounds of fertility treatment to having me, only to give birth four months prematurely, and spent much of my early childhood being told by doctors that I was almost dead. So I understand my mother's overpritectiveness. It's not justified, however, and I hope that we can come to a compromise some time soon. I'm tired of being stifled.
    Well, I was born premature and needed a blood transfusion and was hours away from dying but she's like this with all 3 of us.
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    My father is incredibly, INCREDIBLY protective over me and although it sucks from time to time(my parents call me every day, twice a day) I am appreciative of the fact that they love me and are concerned about me. I know how it feels though.

    My dad finally let me go abroad after telling him that I was an adult and he could drive me away if he kept me so confined like that. He backed off because he didn't want to loose me forever.

    You have to let your parents know, and really make them understand that you're not a kid anymore, or an idiot, and they have to trust that when you go out in the world you will use everything they taught you and make good decisions.


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    Lool...true say!
    My parents would probably live with me in the same house :P

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