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    I have been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for a while now, but it has gotten worse over the past year. I dropped out of uni at the start of 2012 because I was really unhappy there and I felt like I didn't belong. I have reapplied to uni this year, just to show people that I am doing something with my life. I always see myself in a negative light and I hate myself. I am not attractive, I am not the most intelligent of people, I would love to go out on a Saturday night but I have no friends and I haven't even been in a relationship before. I hate myself for feeling like this as well. I have had a great childhood and a loving family and I have been lucky enough to get accepted in to uni twice, so I really shouldn't feel like this.

    I have went to the doctors 3 times; they just gave me information about it the first 2 times and I was referred to a therapy place the 3rd time. I got a letter from them saying that they would phone me up but when they did phone, I was too scared to answer the phone and had a panic attack. I got taken of the list because I never answered.

    I just want to feel happy. I have missed out on loads of opportunities because of it. I want to go to the doctors again, but they will ask me why I didn't go through with the therapy and I will have to tell them I had a panic attack when they phoned which is pathetic. The easiest way is to be put on medication, but that will only mask the problem and I might even feel worse because of the side effects.

    I just don't know what to do any more. I would love to walk outside without being scared to death. I am terrified of doing all the little things such as answering the phone or going to a public toilet. I am struggling to cope with all of it now and I don't know what to do.
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    Do whatever you can to get yourself back to the doctors and to get treatment. There's no shame in saying you had a panic attack, that's why you're there after all. It's scary to make the step but believe me it's worth it.
    Be totally honest with them. They'll have heard it all before so there's no embarrassment in it.

    From experience what they usually do is give you a doctors appointment then a follow up but of you go in asking for a referral straight up and explain everything you may get it first visit. Answer the phone (easier said than done I know) but if you do miss it just phone back as soon as you've calmed down. If you have a family member or something who is aware of what's happening you could ask them to be there and take the phone if you start to panic.

    Chances are they will then (after a bit of talking about what's going on and a "diagnosis") give you a mix of meds and therapy.
    The meds can make you feel a bit worse to start with but then it will feel much better an mean you can manage to make more progress in therapy. It takes some getting used to but work through it and remember its for a good cause. They won't just shove you on meds and leave you to it, they're to help you through therapy mostly.

    My advice is to write down what you need to mention to remind yourself and make sure you don't miss anything. I'll be honest, in my first appointment i was so nervous I just handed them the list.

    I assume you probably know of some breathing exercises and meditation techniques you could use to calm yourself down. Give "mindfulness" a google if you haven't already- it really helped a friend of mine who has anxiety.

    Best wishes and good luck x




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    (Original post by Teito)
    I want to go to the doctors again, but they will ask me why I didn't go through with the therapy and I will have to tell them I had a panic attack when they phoned which is pathetic. The easiest way is to be put on medication, but that will only mask the problem and I might even feel worse because of the side effects.
    Go to the doctors and explain. Lots of people with anxiety have problems with phones. Ask that these people write or e-mail you.

    Medication is not an "easy" way. It doesn't mask the problem as you will still feel anxious, but it can help alleviate the symptoms to some degree. If you take medication, it can help give you the wiggle room to pursue recovery i.e - if you can't leave the house and popping a pill relieves enough anxiety so you can push your self and actually leave the house, then you'd be challenging your anxiety. The more you do things that make you anxious, you will eventually learn the triggers pose no threat. Repeated exposure to triggers is the way out of anxiety.
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    (Original post by Teito)
    I have been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for a while now, but it has gotten worse over the past year. I dropped out of uni at the start of 2012 because I was really unhappy there and I felt like I didn't belong. I have reapplied to uni this year, just to show people that I am doing something with my life. I always see myself in a negative light and I hate myself. I am not attractive, I am not the most intelligent of people, I would love to go out on a Saturday night but I have no friends and I haven't even been in a relationship before. I hate myself for feeling like this as well. I have had a great childhood and a loving family and I have been lucky enough to get accepted in to uni twice, so I really shouldn't feel like this.

    I have went to the doctors 3 times; they just gave me information about it the first 2 times and I was referred to a therapy place the 3rd time. I got a letter from them saying that they would phone me up but when they did phone, I was too scared to answer the phone and had a panic attack. I got taken of the list because I never answered.

    I just want to feel happy. I have missed out on loads of opportunities because of it. I want to go to the doctors again, but they will ask me why I didn't go through with the therapy and I will have to tell them I had a panic attack when they phoned which is pathetic. The easiest way is to be put on medication, but that will only mask the problem and I might even feel worse because of the side effects.

    I just don't know what to do any more. I would love to walk outside without being scared to death. I am terrified of doing all the little things such as answering the phone or going to a public toilet. I am struggling to cope with all of it now and I don't know what to do.
    not in a position to really give advice on anxiety issuess, but as someone who had to leave university due to mental health issues - I really do hope things turn out well for you

    If you do manage to go back though, please do get in contact with the support services at uni.. I never wanted to - but since I returned to uni (after 9 months out) - they have saved me completly.. and im now able-ish, to lead a fairly normal uni life..
 
 
 
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