16 and never had a boyfriend Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Hi guys,
I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend
I was wondering if there could be anything I could be doing thats putting all the guys off, or if there's anything I can start doing to attract their attention a bit more.
Any help would be really appreciated thanks
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AeneasBK
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#2
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Realise that LOTs of people never have a partner till 16 and its no big deal...

Stressing over it will not help. IF you are happy with who you are, continue to be yourself. When the right person comes along (and they will) you'll have saved yourself all the hard work that others put into pretending to be what they think the other person wants them to be and all the adjustment that takes.

I was 15 before I kissed a girl for the first time, and I was 19 before I had my first proper relationship.
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andyt8765
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi guys,
I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend
I was wondering if there could be anything I could be doing thats putting all the guys off, or if there's anything I can start doing to attract their attention a bit more.
Any help would be really appreciated thanks
As the previous poster said, don't try and be someone you're not just to get into a relationship. Just be yourself and eventually someone who likes YOU for who YOU are will come along.
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CurtainrailMan
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Um. I'm eighteen and have never kissed anyone. A lot of the people I know are in their early twenties and have never been in a relationship either. Admittedly, that number is getting smaller by the day...
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stephaniejpm
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i am 15 will be turning 16 in only a matter of months and been having the same problems all my friends have boyfreinds or have been in a realtionship and i havent even pulled a guy yet! my friend is having a party soon where there is going to be drink and my friends keep telling me to get drunk and pull. i dont know if its the right thing to do or not because i want it to be a nice thing i i think doing that wont be a nice forst kiss but when i say that i just get told i am being too cheesy! i dont know what to do but i just want to kiss a guy so i stop feeling so bad about myself and likei am the odd one out !
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QI Elf
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Christ almighty, you're 16. At 16 I didn't know any boys, let alone have a boyfriend. At 23 I've still never had one and its never worried me. I was 20 when I had my first kiss.

Seriously, 16 is nothing. Just look around on TSR and you'll find there are loads and loads of people who've never had bfs/gfs at your age and a lot older.

I'm sure you're perfect as you are. I can't agree with the above posters enough- just be youself and someone will come along soon enough.
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Djordje
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You're still somewhat young to worry about that. Loads of people don't enter a relationship before 18+.

Also, you have to be yourself to be noticed, pretending that you're someone else is not the right way to go about it. What you should do is make people realise your good sides more and get them interested in that way rather than by constructing a persona that will appear attractive. At the end of the day, a said guy should be dating you, not a mask you've put on.
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Dannyboy1236
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I'm 16...no relationship yet...I'm still happy...

It'll happen when it happens. Don't force anything...
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AeneasBK
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(Original post by andyt8765)
As the previous poster said, don't try and be someone you're not just to get into a relationship. Just be yourself and eventually someone who likes YOU for who YOU are will come along.
How on earth did you get negg'd for that???
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Arg
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I had my first girlfriend and first kiss at 19. I am now 20 and have since been with 4 girls. Looking back on it, I think I never had girlfriends in an earlier part of my life, because I didn't do all of the things that are expected of a single person who is looking for someone. Nobody in my family ever gave me advice on courtship and I was definitely too embarrassed to ask friends for advice. And I literally mean that my parents have never even talked to me about girls my entire life. So it took me longer than most people to figure it all out for myself.

I'm going to be brutally honest about my self because I think it will help and I obviously sympathise with you and wish someone would of told me these things.

My first kiss happened during freshers at University. A point in my life where I changed a lot about myself.

1) Before University I didn't really do anything with my appearance to attract girls. Now, people always say altering your appearance to attract someone is a bad idea. Those guys and girls see no irony in saying this whilst wearing make-up or sporting a stylish hair cut. They don't actually believe it's a bad idea, they just think it's the right thing to say. Relationships are inherently sexual by nature and thus attractiveness is important. How important, when considering personality, is a different question. But it doesn't take much to make yourself more appealing.

I had dark circles under my eyes and my skin wasn't the clearest. I began using (secretly btw because I'm a guy) a moisturising cream for dry skin and another cream for the dark circles under my eyes. I also didn't style my hair at all. I changed that too. Also started going to the gym, but that was partly for myself too; I enjoy working out.

2) Don't change your personality! That's one of the cliché's that actually holds true. It can't really be done. Your real personality always comes through in the end. When it does, it will turn off the person your with as they'll notice your not the girl you pretended to be. It will also put you in an awkward situation when they inquire about certain things you pretended you were about.

However, do learn to become more of a conversationalist if you aren't already. Not talking much is a bad personal trait. One that I have now overcome. A relationship develops out of having a good time together and getting to know each other. It doesn't have to be intimate, there just needs to be a constant flow of conversation between you. It doesn't even have to be all that interesting either. Interesting conversations occur naturally. You should just be telling him a funny thing that happened on the way to school the other day or to a friend of yours.

Don't be shy around guys though. I used to be shy around girls. And looking back on it, it's obviously no surprise that would get in the way of dating. Not only does it make you behave weirdly, you spend less time coming in to contact with the opposite sex.

3) Don't be too afraid of rejection. I was petrified of this and it meant that I never asked anyone out. When I was 19 I thought I should just go for it. Luckily I had a mutual friend with the girl I liked. She hinted that the girl was interested in me. It's important to make sure, within reason, that they like you before making any kind of move. Because rejection obviously hurts.

4) Don't let on that you haven't ever had a boyfriend before. It will make you seem weird. Even when I had never had a girlfriend, I thought that a girl who hadn't had a boyfriend by then must have something wrong with her. I wasn't being malicious, it's just an ignorant assumption I made.

I learnt that if you want something, sometimes you have to act like you already have it.

Next week, for leavers week I am going to ask a girl out. And I have no fear about it. I mean I will get anxious right before I take the plunge, but having had some experiences I have a lot of confidence in approaching girls now. So I hope at least some of that helped. The only other thing I would say is don't get too hung up on one guy when deciding who you're going to 'go for.' I did this and it's really unrealistic. Just pick a guy that you like and who you feel is interested in you. If you realise that a guy isn't then find another guy you like and give him a try. Every relationship teaches you something. Even if you find the perfect guy, chances are that your going to make mistakes and break up. Most relationships do eventually end.
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dgeorge
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi guys,
I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend
I was wondering if there could be anything I could be doing thats putting all the guys off, or if there's anything I can start doing to attract their attention a bit more.
Any help would be really appreciated thanks
In the nicest possible way, you're still VERY young, and yes, good things DO take time.

It not be for another year or two (or three) but really and truly, enjoy life before pining over a boyfriend.

I understand the pressure, but your life is only as good as YOU want it to be.

BTW, there are LOTS of people who never had a boyfriend/girlfriend at 16 (including me) and had perfectly fine lives. Seriously, you're not unusual and there is NO rush
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PINKFLEUR
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You're 16. And you still have plenty of time on your hands.

I'm 16 too by the way and I've never had a serious relationship with a guy but I'd rather get my education over and done with before I start prioritizing my love life.

Don't feel pressured to have a boyfriend simply because your friends do. If you'd really like to meet someone, you could perhaps consider attending social events or look approachable when you go out? e.g. smiling at a guy when you catch his gaze or starting a little conversation...

Patience is a virtue, your time will come, don't worry.

PF. xx
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tooosh
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16...
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Rock Fan
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#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi guys,
I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend
I was wondering if there could be anything I could be doing thats putting all the guys off, or if there's anything I can start doing to attract their attention a bit more.
Any help would be really appreciated thanks
Probably nothing you are doing wrong, just be yourself, you are only 16. Many people I know didn't get their first boyfriend or girlfriend until in their 20s, it will happen when you least expect it.
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Lyman
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If you were to google "16 and never had a boyfriend" you'd fine thousands of results from people your age spread across a multitude of forums and answer sites. What this means is that your situation is hardly unique. My sister is exactly your age and in the same situation, not that it ails her too much. The short of it is this; sixteen might seem like some kind of turning point (it certainly did for me) but at the end of the day you are not that old. Over the next three years which pass extremely quickly you will go to sixth form and then university. In both environments you'll meet lots of new people, many of whom could become boyfriends. My point is that you'll me someone. It might be this year, next or perhaps three years down the line when you're in university.
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Rehabb
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#16
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I wouldn't fret, I didn't get a boyfriend until just before I turned 16, and even now it's no big deal? If anything, I would focus on culturing yourself so you don't end up in a relationship where someone ends up molding you into something else. 16 may seem like a big deal, but I'd recommend taking it slow. You'll meet lots of people from here on out and at this point a good friendship is probably better.

I'd be darned if I let a guy distract me c:

-RB
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Tee Logan x
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That's something you ought to be proud of nothing is more important than studies at this point in your life so don't worry about it!
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MattFletcher
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I'm 16 and I've never had one either, allong with a lot of people. Just wait. You'll find someone
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aoxa
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#19
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Be single, be happy.

At 16, you're right in the middle of GCSEs, so why bother having an extra distraction?

Just wait for someone worthwhile.
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Iron Lady
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#20
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I say this for your own good, despite what other people say in your year, you are not a freak for not having one. Even if they haven't said anything and you feel left out, it doesn't matter. It's far better to wait, than rush into it when it doesn't feel right for you. In the moment it may feel a bit demotivating, but waiting for the 'right time' is more satisfying for you and your sense of self-worth knowing you didn't bow to peer pressure.

You're not doing anything wrong if you're behaving naturally. People develop at different rates and will have boyfriends/girlfriends etc before you. You don't need to change for others to like you, because eventually they will see it's fake and you will feel worse than you are now.

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I'm a few years older than you and have never had any interest, let alone a boyfriend, so I do know what I'm talking about
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