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Boyfriend problems

So me and my boyfriend of 6 years have had a lot of arguments recently. But one that we had recently has struck a nerve and i want to see if other people would have taken it as offensively as i have as he thinks i am out of line for being upset and supposedly his friends agree with him.

So my Mum has MS and is now in a wheelchair full time and can't do anything for herself. This week my Step-dad died and he was her full time carer. I have been with her for a while looking after her and only then did i get to see the full extent of how bad the MS had got. I'm not one to go on about how i'm feeling especially to my boyfriend as its not me however he constantly is down about his family problems which are not anywhere near as bad. When arriving back home (i live with my boyfriend) after the time with my mum he had been off with me reminding me that 'I need to remember i am in a relationship' when i kept saying i was going to stay longer round my mums to be there for her. But during an argument he said that I should be greatful to be with him as he has made exceptions to his future understanding that in ten years time we will be responsible for her and that others would not be as accepting of that. I can't believe he would say that to me as me and my mum are very close and for him to say that it will ruin his future has really upset me as i still am trying to get used to her condition etc and its not as if she has asked for this or can do anything about it.

Any opinions on what i should do/say or what you would think in this situation would be appreciated?
Original post by Anonymous
So me and my boyfriend of 6 years have had a lot of arguments recently. But one that we had recently has struck a nerve and i want to see if other people would have taken it as offensively as i have as he thinks i am out of line for being upset and supposedly his friends agree with him.

So my Mum has MS and is now in a wheelchair full time and can't do anything for herself. This week my Step-dad died and he was her full time carer. I have been with her for a while looking after her and only then did i get to see the full extent of how bad the MS had got. I'm not one to go on about how i'm feeling especially to my boyfriend as its not me however he constantly is down about his family problems which are not anywhere near as bad. When arriving back home (i live with my boyfriend) after the time with my mum he had been off with me reminding me that 'I need to remember i am in a relationship' when i kept saying i was going to stay longer round my mums to be there for her. But during an argument he said that I should be greatful to be with him as he has made exceptions to his future understanding that in ten years time we will be responsible for her and that others would not be as accepting of that. I can't believe he would say that to me as me and my mum are very close and for him to say that it will ruin his future has really upset me as i still am trying to get used to her condition etc and its not as if she has asked for this or can do anything about it.

Any opinions on what i should do/say or what you would think in this situation would be appreciated?




Well first of all sorry about your step-dad and your mum, both must be really hard situations, and i think thats what you boyfriend needs to understand. He has been going out with you for a long time, maybe he just feel not as appreciated as he sued to be, which is yet again understandable. Is there a way you could sometimes go to your mums and take him with you? Or when you do get back go out for dinner, realistically you should sit down and talk to him, see what he is thinking; he could just be worried that your not spending as much time together. I'm not a big fan of guys saying we should be lucky that their with us though! He could be coming across in my opinion slightly cocky and I would want to stand my ground and tell him that this situation is difficult etc. Anyways hope this helped! Good luck :smile:
(edited 10 years ago)
I'll pop this in relationships as there is a boyfriend problem to this :smile:
I'm sorry about your step-dad, my condolences and about your mum. My mother died last year of cancer so I know what it's like to lose someone close and dear :/ I think your boyfriend needs to be more understanding of the situation you're going through. But like one of the posts have said, you should talk about it with him. I can understand how hard it seems at the moment. What he said about you should be grateful etc was bang out of order. I know my girlfriend would be very angry with me if I said something like that. He should think before he opens his mouth. Even though I understand his pov, I don't think that was the right way to speak to you. Just tell him that this is a difficult situation right now and you don't need him being angry with you as that's not helping right now. You're doing the right thing with your mum. You seem like a nice person so if it gets any worse with him, just ask him to leave you alone for a while whilst you are helping your mum. He's acting selfish and not putting your feelings before his own.Anyway, hope you sort it out with him and good luck. :smile:

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