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    My girlfriend of 4 months best-friend's family have just purchased a hot tub for the summer and to accompany their outdoor swimming pool.
    As expected, her best friend is going to be hosting lots of house parties this summer, and of course, my girlfriend has been invited. As have I, however unfortunately I have other arrangements such as work and won't be able to attend the majority of them.
    However, i'm a little skeptical/worried about my girlfriend being surrounded by a bunch of single males who've been drinking, as will she.
    Alcohol, summer, hot tub, pool and a group of probably horny guys and girls is a recipe for sexual shenanigans. (In my opinion.)
    I trust my girlfriend sober. But, not in a situation like this.
    Plus, she'll be in her bikini... With little left to show. And, if its anything like last summers parties, the majority of people end up sleeping I'm tents in the garden.

    I just can't bare the thought. I have spoken to her numerous times, about how I feel etc. But all I get is 'you trust me don't you?' And that's that.
    I've gone as far as trying to get unpaid holiday off work just so I can be there. (I didn't get it.) I just don't know what to do! I don't want to be controlling and tell her she can't go, but deep down I don't want her to go and it's leaving me feeling down all the time.

    Help? :confused:
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    Okay i can see where your coming from. I've been to a couple. all single and nothing sexual happened not even light smooching. To an extend she is right as well if you cant trust her to be alone with guys even when intoxicated u sure about the relationship? Has she given you any reason to doubt or are you just being paranoid.

    just relax bout it. what will be will be.
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    Pay the neighbour's 12 year old son to give you a copy of the videos that he will undoubtledly take of your girlfriend and her friends from behind the partially drawn curtains of his bedroom window. That should be all the evidence you will ever need if there are any sexual 'shenanigans' going on or not.
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    Just trust her! you can't baby her. I think it's a bit excessive that you actually tried to take unpaid leave btw.
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    There's not much you can do to be honest. Do you have any good friends in the bunch that will be there? If so you could ask them to keep an eye out, or take her away from things if she gets herself messy.
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    If the roles were reversed, could you be trusted? How would you feel if she said that she didn't want you to go on those grounds?

    Trust that she's with you for a reason, and not with them. It's only been 4 months too. You don't want to get a reputation for being controlling or paranoid. That's the best way to get her friends to go off you.

    Let her go. If she's gonna cheat, she will do it regardless of if you let her go and if she doesn't you know your worries are unfounded.

    These things always come out so it's not really likely you wouldn't hear about it if she did.


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    I know where you're coming from, I would never let a girlfriend go to a party in just a bikini...
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    Perfectly normal concerns, you really don't have any choice but to bite the bullet and let her go to be honest. Like several people have said you really don't want to seem controlling and you don't want to force the issue to the point that she goes to that party angry at you... that's just asking for trouble. It will be fine though, if you were in her position would you cheat? then it's doubtful that she will. If you're that worried could you pick her up from the party after work? that way at least she isn't sleeping there?
 
 
 
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