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    I have a bad habit of making really long forum posts when asking for advice so I'm going to try and narrow it down to key points.

    I just noticed it's still really long but all advice is truly appreciated.



    • My ex has always been controlling from when we first started dating. He even told me that he wants me all to himself. We broke up properly in October but stayed friends with benefits. The problem is that he's still controlling me. I'm not allowed to have friends, talk to other people. If I don't talk to him for a day he assumes I have something to hide and that I'm lying. We ALWAYS fight because of this. He's my ex. I want him in my life but when I do talk to him and he's being like this it makes me really stressed and depressed. I don't know what to do.




    • As stated above me and my ex have stayed as friends with benefits for around 7 months which was great. Now the problem is that we were meant to be meeting last weekend but had to reschedule to this weekend but because I wasn't online much in the past week he's accused me of lying and hiding things and now doesn't want to see me. Now the main problem is that I have a very high sex drive and I have waited for months to see him(we are long distance) Obviously I was looking forward to see him so we could have intercourse. You could tell me to hook up with somebody else but I'm not that type of person, I wont sleep with just anybody and I don't know what to do now.




    • I have really strong feelings for a member of staff at college. It's a problem because it's taking over my life in a sense. Other men can talk to me and I think to myself 'he's no *mans name* and when I see a man that looks like him I think 'he's the ugly version of *his name*' even if the person is fairly good looking. I think about him literally all the time. I can't flaw him in anyway and he's everything I want in a partner. He's mature and not like 99% of the men out there.
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    First I would say get rid of your ex with him being so controlling over you.

    I can't really make out what to think of the guy at college, if he's playing hard to get or not interested.
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    (Original post by Jodie-forever)
    I have a bad habit of making really long forum posts when asking for advice so I'm going to try and narrow it down to key points.

    I just noticed it's still really long but all advice is truly appreciated.



    • My ex has always been controlling from when we first started dating. He even told me that he wants me all to himself. We broke up properly in October but stayed friends with benefits. The problem is that he's still controlling me. I'm not allowed to have friends, talk to other people. If I don't talk to him for a day he assumes I have something to hide and that I'm lying. We ALWAYS fight because of this. He's my ex. I want him in my life but when I do talk to him and he's being like this it makes me really stressed and depressed. I don't know what to do.




    • As stated above me and my ex have stayed as friends with benefits for around 7 months which was great. Now the problem is that we were meant to be meeting last weekend but had to reschedule to this weekend but because I wasn't online much in the past week he's accused me of lying and hiding things and now doesn't want to see me. Now the main problem is that I have a very high sex drive and I have waited for months to see him(we are long distance) Obviously I was looking forward to see him so we could have intercourse. You could tell me to hook up with somebody else but I'm not that type of person, I wont sleep with just anybody and I don't know what to do now.




    • I have really strong feelings for a member of staff at college. It's a problem because it's taking over my life in a sense. Other men can talk to me and I think to myself 'he's no *mans name* and when I see a man that looks like him I think 'he's the ugly version of *his name*' even if the person is fairly good looking. I think about him literally all the time. I can't flaw him in anyway and he's everything I want in a partner. He's mature and not like 99% of the men out there.

    I've been scared to ask advice about him in case he was ever to find out but I'm going to go for it anyway.

    I wrote him a letter which I gave him 2 and a half months ago. I don't remember everything I said but the key points were that I first noticed him because he looked like someone I had met during the summer and that I fell for his smile. I complimented him about that. I finished the letter off by saying I was sorry that I always stare at him and that I'd stop as I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

    After I sent him the letter he seemed to avoid me. He would come out of class and just rush off whereas he used to stick around for a while. Then we had half term and after we came back I was waiting for class and I noticed him looking at me. After that I started to look at him all the time again.

    The other week I was with my friend outside of college and I saw him walking past where we met eyes for a few seconds then I looked away(well eyed him up then looked away) I looked away for a good 25 seconds and when I looked back he was still looking and then decided to carry on walking.

    This week I had a meeting with the counsellor where I had to leave class early and when I had finished with the counsellor he saw me on my own(probably the first time he has saw me on my own in a very long time) and he decided to tell me that he's in our class again this week. Which was weird because he never ever speaks to me. I was just like 'okay.' Then he went on to say 'thanks for the note by the way I really appreciated it' which was even weirder. It's been months since I gave it him and what does he appreciate about it? I was embarrassed and just said 'okay' (I am shy and had serious butterflies at the time) I then went on to ask him for the time as I knew I was late for my next lesson, he didn't answer for a few seconds and I could do was eye him up. >< He then went on to say 'now?' and I said 'yes... obviously' then he finally told me and what lesson I was meant to be in.

    When he was in our class I noticed that every time I had to look round to face the tutor which was also in the same direction of where he was sat he would turn his back to me to talk to the girls behind him.

    I'm seriously confused now. I really like him and it's actually hurting now.
    As the above poster said, the first thing you need to do is kick your ex into touch and cut all contact with him.
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    I think the main reason I keep him in my life is for the sex. I've slept with 3 different men and he's the best I've had. As I said in my original post I wont just sleep with anybody so I find it hard.
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    (Original post by Jodie-forever)
    I think the main reason I keep him in my life is for the sex. I've slept with 3 different men and he's the best I've had. As I said in my original post I wont just sleep with anybody so I find it hard.
    But he is controlling and possessive, think of the bad things about him, he is only going to ruin your life.
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    (Original post by Jodie-forever)
    I think the main reason I keep him in my life is for the sex. I've slept with 3 different men and he's the best I've had. As I said in my original post I wont just sleep with anybody so I find it hard.
    OP, OP, OP. This guy is far worse than 'just anybody.' Your logic for not hooking up with a random guy makes no sense because it would be pretty damn difficult for anyone to be worse than this guy by the sounds of it. Get rid of him.
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    Don't let good sex cloud your logic. This guy is controlling and if he can't control you how he would like to, eventually he WILL try to control you physically. KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH and cut all ties. Your dignity and self worth comes before good D.

    Staying in unhealthy relationships like that... wither bf and gf or friends with benefits can destroy your outlook on relationships if you stay for too long.

    I was in a similar position once, and trust me it really aint worth it.
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    I nearly got rid of him last time until he started telling me everyday that he's changed and that he just wants to make me happy which in the end I started talking to him again.
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    That guy sounds like a total douchebag! I think most of the posts are hitting the nail on the head: Ditch him for good! Don't just stay with him for the intercourse. I don't know you but you could probably do so much better than him. Not worth it going on any longer.
 
 
 
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