Teacher,56, always touch my hip, hugs close? PLEASE HELP

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UnknownAnna11
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Im 19 year old girl in Sweden. In school i have a teacher,56,married who a bit strange n i have a great contact with. He is also my class mentor.


We talk sometimes alone in his room, around 2-3times per week since october/november maybe. Talk about life, litterature, poetry, history etc.
He think im his best student ever he has said a number of times. "There's many dimensions of you, you're not like everyone else" etc.


Every time when we have talked, even if its just 5 minutes, he hugs me. Twoarmed hugs, very close with the bodies, cheek touches etc. Today he had one hand on my hip during the hug. Very long hug. Sometimes serveral hugs in a row. I answer the hugs.


He also always place his hand on my hip at the side when i stand beside him or if he sits down n i place a hand on his shoulder. Sometimes has the hand there for long time. Take my hand.


Long ago like november he also called me his soulmate once. Not jokefully. Plus smiles a lot specialy after/during hugs and gets red in his face and like holds his hand on his belt?


Its me going to his room so its not like hes forcing me to anything. He has also said several times we should keep contact after i graduate in june.


What is this? Possible friendly? I like him both romantical and friendly. Would he ever do more? Woolf he have an affair with me?
Sometimes mention his wife though?? Like she thinks hes crazy with his big history interest. Also Said to me i'm like his wife jokefully.
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Rybee
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This is your first post on TSR... wow.

No one on TSR is going to be able to help you without knowing you personally. I'm not sure what you're asking anyway?
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UnknownAnna11
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Yes, why?

i wonder what it is and what he wants?
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OMGWTFBBQ
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You're 19 so what you decide to do upon graduation is your own business.

I don't think he's being fair on you as he is currently responsible for you as your teacher, and I don't think it would be fair on his wife if you were to take it further.
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Octohedral
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My first impression is stay well away. He's married, and he doesn't care enough about you, and his reputation, family and job not to make very obvious gestures towards a student who is a third of his age.

I do understand the attraction of student-teacher relationships. It's quite possible you would be very good friends if you were the same age, and my instinct says there's nothing wrong with staying friends - if you were male it would be perfectly normal to stay in touch with a good mentor and teacher.

It's possible he's just a bit awkward, and there's nothing romantic about it. From what you've said it sounds like you think there is, but we can't say either way whether he would act on it - he hasn't technically done anything wrong yet (although he is right on the border).

However, you have to understand that from his point of view you are a child. I know you feel like an adult at 19, but when you are really an adult 19 year olds look the same way as you see 14 year olds. I would be very wary of a 56 year old who does what he has done. Very few people who are being groomed feel like they are being groomed, by definition.

That said, I desperately want to believe that it's possible for you to really be good friends without sexual issues getting in the way. It would restore my faith in humanity. I don't know you or him, so I'm not going to give you direct advice. These are just a couple of points to consider.
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Zarek
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He's a dirty horse! Beware. Always follow the 1/2 your age + 7 dating rule for minimum age gaps ie the maximum age of guy who could hit on you without it being creepy is 25. And that's not to mention the wife issue..
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username47781
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(Original post by UnknownAnna11)
Im 19 year old girl in Sweden. In school i have a teacher,56,married who a bit strange n i have a great contact with. He is also my class mentor.


We talk sometimes alone in his room, around 2-3times per week since october/november maybe. Talk about life, litterature, poetry, history etc.
He think im his best student ever he has said a number of times. "There's many dimensions of you, you're not like everyone else" etc.


Every time when we have talked, even if its just 5 minutes, he hugs me. Twoarmed hugs, very close with the bodies, cheek touches etc. Today he had one hand on my hip during the hug. Very long hug. Sometimes serveral hugs in a row. I answer the hugs.


He also always place his hand on my hip at the side when i stand beside him or if he sits down n i place a hand on his shoulder. Sometimes has the hand there for long time. Take my hand.


Long ago like november he also called me his soulmate once. Not jokefully. Plus smiles a lot specialy after/during hugs and gets red in his face and like holds his hand on his belt?


Its me going to his room so its not like hes forcing me to anything. He has also said several times we should keep contact after i graduate in june.


What is this? Possible friendly? I like him both romantical and friendly. Would he ever do more? Woolf he have an affair with me?
Sometimes mention his wife though?? Like she thinks hes crazy with his big history interest. Also Said to me i'm like his wife jokefully.
He is being really inappropriate, as others said I would back away.
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Get_Lucky_606
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(Original post by UnknownAnna11)
Yes, why?

i wonder what it is and what he wants?

It's quite clear really - He's an older guy who has taken a liking to you (you have said you are a 19 year old girl - just imagine he is a 56 year old guy and you have been hugging/spending a lot of time with him, he is likely to get attached as it's probably like xmas for him lol).

If he keeps touching you inappropriately he obviously thinks it is ok and that you are comfortable with it as you haven't stopped him. But if you are interested in him fair enough - just be aware of what you're getting into!
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Dragonfly07
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Had a teacher like that in school, except he was much older and all the girls in the school knew what he was doing.

It was an all girls school and he always got his face disturbingly close to the girls' whenever he had a chat with any of us, and he would put his arm around us in a really awkward position.

It turned into a laugh around the school and I think he was harmless considering he was so old he couldn't do anything physical to anyone, but it was still disturbing and no one wanted to have private talks with him about their education anymore.
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keon5411
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he is a pervert sorry mate
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Surnia
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(Original post by UnknownAnna11)
Im 19 year old girl in Sweden. In school i have a teacher,56,married who a bit strange n i have a great contact with. He is also my class mentor.


We talk sometimes alone in his room, around 2-3times per week since october/november maybe. Talk about life, litterature, poetry, history etc.
He think im his best student ever he has said a number of times. "There's many dimensions of you, you're not like everyone else" etc.


Every time when we have talked, even if its just 5 minutes, he hugs me. Twoarmed hugs, very close with the bodies, cheek touches etc. Today he had one hand on my hip during the hug. Very long hug. Sometimes serveral hugs in a row. I answer the hugs.


He also always place his hand on my hip at the side when i stand beside him or if he sits down n i place a hand on his shoulder. Sometimes has the hand there for long time. Take my hand.


Long ago like november he also called me his soulmate once. Not jokefully. Plus smiles a lot specialy after/during hugs and gets red in his face and like holds his hand on his belt?


Its me going to his room so its not like hes forcing me to anything. He has also said several times we should keep contact after i graduate in june.


What is this? Possible friendly? I like him both romantical and friendly. Would he ever do more? Woolf he have an affair with me?
Sometimes mention his wife though?? Like she thinks hes crazy with his big history interest. Also Said to me i'm like his wife jokefully.
Report him to the school management for his behaviour; it's totally inappropriate.

How would you feel if you were married and not only was your husband making moves on a student, that student wanted to have an affair with him? Grow up and don't get involved with him, now or after graduation. It's horrendous that you are even thinking like this!
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