How serious are the words "I love you" spoken by a 17 year old female?

I read an old letter from someone I was with for a year and at one point it says "That's when I realised I loved you" and describes it pretty well.

So I was wondering whether this is very serious and that all other men are going to be second to me from now on to her?

Or is it just a moment and another guy is going to fill the gap I left eventually?

She has another boyfriend now (it has been a few years) but for some reason I get the feeling they're not completely serious but are just pretending to each other.

The thought of her secretly loving me her whole life destroys me, if she genuinely does and it's not a whim then I want to be with her.

What do you think?

(edited 10 years ago)

She wants the D

When did you get the letter?

Reply 3

The_Last_Melon

Original post by Iron Lady

When did you get the letter?

A few years ago, I didn't notice that bit for some reason, or it didn't seem to mean much then because maybe I knew she loved me but until now I've forgotten.

Reply 4

joker12345

If you want to be with her, tell her. But don't just be with her because you're worried she'll keep loving you and it makes you feel bad!

Reply 5

McFlury

I'd say generally people say it when they think they mean it. It really depends on how you define "love" and if you believe in a "one true love". Personally I think it is used too much by teenagers in relationships, who really, do not mean it.

Reply 6

Treeroy

Original post by The_Last_Melon

So I was wondering whether this is very serious and that all other men are going to be second to me from now on to her?

Why are her loving you and her loving someone else mutually exclusive?

Reply 7

Rybee

At that age she probably thought she meant it. I certainly did.

As I got older I realised what true love genuinely was.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Treeroy

Why are her loving you and her loving someone else mutually exclusive?

Some people believe falling in love should last forever - guess OP is one of them.

Reply 9

sliceofcake

Likely reasoning will be that she meant it at the time but regardless of age, experience changes a lot. She loved you then as much as she thought she could, and that will be the same for whoever else she loves. You grow and learn from that stuff, few people sit and dwell on who they were with at 17. If she doesn't love her current boyfriend very much than that is most likely nothing at all to do with your relationship which was quite a long time ago now.

Reply 10

lou_100

I don't think age should be the decider on whether on not the love is genuine. I think it's also about maturity and experience and personality etc.

I have some pretty immature friends, who I love dearly as my friends, but they won't be ready to say "I love you" and mean it for many years to come, which they admit themselves.

Then there's one or two other friends who are in more serious relationships and have the maturity and experience and that kind of personality for anyone to believe they genuinely love their partner.

I thought I loved my first proper boyfriend, but it's not until you find something more genuine that you really realise your mistake. I'm nearly 18 now, boyfriend early 20s, known him almost a year and very much love him although haven't ever said it to one another and probably won't unless a change occurs i.e. we move in together. Personally, I don't want the word over-used and to lose value. Not just love him in a friend way that I have my previous boyfriends, this is different and I can tell it's different.

So, my answer is, potentially serious, potentially not. Even adults say they love each other and sometimes are mistaken. It happens at all ages, so I don't think age is the only determinator of whether she was being genuine or not.

Just go after her or you'll never find out.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 11

McFlury

where do you cross the line from liking somebody very strongly and loving them?

to me family are the only people I can say I definitely love

Reply 12

Truflais

It sounds like you'd only want to be with her because SHE may have loved you. You never mention that you're still in love with her. However, if you are I would get in touch with her and find out or you'll always wonder. If you were her first love then it's likely she'll always be very fond of you, even if she no longer wants to be with you.

Reply 13

ChocoCoatedLemons

Why would she only ever love you? I loved someone for a month off four years and I don't anymore. But I would've died for them at the time, it was as deep a love as I could've felt at the time ( :colone:

deep). But that doesn't mean I'll never love anyone again.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 14

Josh93

Love is extremely subjective and only has meaning as a concept in so far as we attach meaning to it.

Philosophical crap aside I would say that:

A) If you genuinely care about her and want to be with her then fight for her, that is your perogative, but don't feel that you should be with her because she 'loved you' at 17 - the likelihood is that she wasn't being 100% serious then and even if she was then her feelings are far more complex now.

B) You really can't attach too much meaning to a word - if she genuinely loved you then I think you would know that from her actions rather than her words. I have absolutely no idea what you were like together and I don't want to judge, for all I know you might have been really serious about each other, but I think that you need to think back on how she behaved with you and consider whether that supports her words before doing anything.