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Help, i think my boyfriend is stingy. Watch

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    me and this guy have been in a relationship it's been half a year.

    I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
    Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
    Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
    Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
    Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,:mad:
    How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.:confused:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    me and this guy have been in a relationship it's been half a year.

    I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
    Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
    Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
    Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
    Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,:mad:
    How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.:confused:
    I think you should speak to him about it, if he does have a bit of cash spare then ask where that money goes, maybe just playfully though! If he doesn't have a lot of money then maybe you should try be more understanding and speak to him; maybe he just doesn't understand that you'd like things bought etc
    Speak to him about it, but if he can't give you what you want, then maybe its time to call it, sorry to sound harsh
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    I think it is a bit harsh about the whole birthday present thing don't get me wrong but it shouldn't be about whether or not he buys you gifts and you shouldn't be "jealous" because your friends get gifts off their boyfriends.

    Talk to him, there is literally nothing anyone on TSR can do but tell you to talk to him about it
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    If you spend £100 for him on valentines, I'm amazed he didn't get you anything. I'd be ashamed if I were him. And I'd say to you not to buy me anything, if I knew I couldn't buy anything in return.

    You should talk to him about it, before it turns into something huge IMO. This could create a lot of tension
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    i think the normal thing to do for anyone is buy them a birthday present if they have got you one especially if theyre your girlfriend. thats just rude if you dont give anything back :/ make him feel embarrassed over it so he knows that its not right
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    the only thing I can see wrong with any of his behavior is the lack of birthday present. I bought so much as a £1 box of maltesers to show he wanted to give you something on your birthday (as its the thought not the gift that matters) it would be nice but not even that. I would speak to him about this.

    as for the other things; you complain he doesn't buy snacks after paying for your cinema ticket? seriously? why should he pay for it at all. Its embarrassing that he doesn't pay for you? your annoyed and even embarrassed he needed to go somewhere cheaper for your date rather than being grateful he paid for it? lots of people don't give gifts on valentines day if you were planning on spending a lot you probably should of mentioned gifts.

    how much money he has is completely irrelevant you have no right to expect him to spend it on you.
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    He should of got you something for your birthday, and that is an issjue you really do need to sort out before it gets to big.
    However I don't think you should of spent £100 on valetines day without telling him in advance, plus it's valetines day you really don't need to spend that much.

    Maybe you should buy cinema tickets? You find it embarrassing that he doesn't pay for everything, I would find it embarrassing if he did.
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    Ah to be fifteen.
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    Stingy like a wasp?
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    Are you his prossy or his girlfriend?
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    Got to save money to make money! But I do agree, it was harsh of him not to buy you anything for your birthday.
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    Dump the mug......teach him a lesson.
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    you come across like an entitled pain tbh - the only thing you have the right to complain about is the lack of birthday present.

    And if he so loaded why did his mom have to give him a tenner. You spending £100 on a valentines present is your choice. He could at least have got you a card though.

    The cinema - lots of people do movies without popcorn AND he paid for your ticket.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    me and this guy have been in a relationship it's been half a year.

    I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
    Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
    Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
    Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
    Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,:mad:
    How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.:confused:
    He probably won't buy you a valentines/birthday present because you're ungrateful when he DOES pay for things.
    It's a bonus to have him pay, not a right.


    EDIT: You sound pretty materialistic. Also you shouldn't expect him to pay for anything. He could be the richest man in the world but you're still not entitled to have him pay your way.
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    IMO if you think he is loaded with money confront him about it, especially with special events/occasions because that's just being too stingy...

    but to be honest, in my relationship, i was shocked when i found out about all these little "rules" girls have about boys and dates, like him paying for your cinema ticket, him giving you the morning text, him taking you out and paying for your meal - and what i've realised is it spreads through friendship groups, and one person feels disadvantaged when they hear their best friend's boyfriend has spent X and done Y when they go out

    I never understood why (some) girls thought like that, boy did my girlfriend face challenges with me because I would constantly backfire saying if you girls have these rules, I don't see why guys don't have the exact same rules too!

    If he's low on money then it's unfair to always be going to expensive pricey places etc

    my advice- don't expect. I hate it when my other half expects, even when I have the money, if there is expectations then i'd rather not spend the money and conform to her expectations because it just gets to me..... but some people label me difficult and unconventional, which is their opinion and i never understood why people want to do conventional things.. but thats another rant

    letting you know our relationship is healthy and great and I've defo changed the way she views certain things with her friends!
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    You with him for his money or for him? Make your mind up and get a ****ing grip.
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)

    EDIT: You sound pretty materialistic. Also you shouldn't expect him to pay for anything. He could be the richest man in the world but you're still not entitled to have him pay your way.
    This.

    It's his choice if he wants to spend money on you, not a given...a choice. Please remember this. :rolleyes:

    If you want a rich benefactor then go find him....stop complaining about such trivial nonsense.
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    Popcorn's disgusting and £100 is an awful lot to spend on something as fatuous as Valentine's Day.

    It does seem odd though how aversive to spending he is. Perhaps he truly has issues financially or something happened in his family which he doesn't wish to discuss.
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    (Original post by boba)
    the only thing I can see wrong with any of his behavior is the lack of birthday present. I bought so much as a £1 box of maltesers to show he wanted to give you something on your birthday (as its the thought not the gift that matters) it would be nice but not even that. I would speak to him about this.

    as for the other things; you complain he doesn't buy snacks after paying for your cinema ticket? seriously? why should he pay for it at all. Its embarrassing that he doesn't pay for you? your annoyed and even embarrassed he needed to go somewhere cheaper for your date rather than being grateful he paid for it? lots of people don't give gifts on valentines day if you were planning on spending a lot you probably should of mentioned gifts.

    how much money he has is completely irrelevant you have no right to expect him to spend it on you.
    While I see your point, in that, she shouldn't expect him to pay for everything, taking her outside of central london, just for the sake of going somewhere cheaper to eat, and then taking her to a kebab shop on a date... it's hardly thoughtful nor appropriate. Especially for the sake of saving a couple of pounds.
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    (Original post by You Failed)
    While I see your point, in that, she shouldn't expect him to pay for everything, taking her outside of central london, just for the sake of going somewhere cheaper to eat, and then taking her to a kebab shop on a date... it's hardly thoughtful nor appropriate. Especially for the sake of saving a couple of pounds.
    he didn't have to pay for her food at all though so surely she should just be grateful for the gesture that he did. also a few pounds is a lot to some people
 
 
 
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