What the most stupid thing your teacher has said

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hattori
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What the most stupid thing your teacher has said?

I think this could be quite funny but I only have one example and it isn't that funny. It was when my biology teacher said muscle turns to fat if you stay inactive, when in actual fact it doesn't. I know it's not funny and it's not that stupid so I don't really want to explain it.

Im sure you have some funny ones.
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theone
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A latin teacher saying all scientists are godless...
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TK
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'have you had botox on your top lip?'
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rednirt
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any teacher who said "I'm not going to be here tomorrow, but want you all to turn up to lesson" has gotta be pretty stupid.
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Ramaya
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We had no teacher for biology so a physics teacher waltzed in and chatted the entire lesson calling haemoglobin 'haemo goblins' constantly. Then a biology teacher came in (that room was a popular room i expect) and the physics teacher asked him if there was such a thing as anti - oxyhaemo-'goblins' as everything in the universe has an anti particle. The biology teacher calmly said, perhaps its on the other side of the universe. Mad.
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~Sam~
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(Original post by rednirt)
any teacher who said "I'm not going to be here tomorrow, but want you all to turn up to lesson" has gotta be pretty stupid.
Yeah I know! My teachers do that all the time but it never happens!

As for other stuoid things, how long do you have? Some classics from my psychology teacher:

"I think you should all go to a mental hospital at least once"
"I had a friend who used to take off all his clothes"
"I had a friend who was as mad as a hatter, so in the end i gave her a cigarette to shut her up"
"I've lost the lense from my glasses. It's probably smashed to pieces now but if you do see it let me know"

There are loads more but I won't bore you as you probably dont find them funny
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emmz
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he was literally shouting at me for missing a lesson then suddnly turned to the register and said 'oh your lucky i wasn't in on that day i forgot i was at a meeting' how thick?
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Jonatan
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(Original post by hattori)
What the most stupid thing your teacher has said?

I think this could be quite funny but I only have one example and it isn't that funny. It was when my biology teacher said muscle turns to fat if you stay inactive, when in actual fact it doesn't. I know it's not funny and it's not that stupid so I don't really want to explain it.

Im sure you have some funny ones.
Our economics teacher tried to plot the graph showing the quantity of euros demanded as a function of the pirce MEASURED IN EUROS.

I asked him what the quantity demanded of the Euros would be if a euro did not cost a euro
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Linda
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Some quotes from my all-time favourtie literature teacher, TK:

"Do you often get excited? How many times do you get excited my dear? In a row?"

"the oral presentations shall be held orally"

"the tongue is in my opinion the most interesting organ. It has very many functions... It can give great pleasure"

"Love is when you take off your panties"

"Post coitus omnia tristes est!"

TK to a girl in my class named Siri: Are you happy with your name?
Siri: Well, it doesn't work that well in English...
TK: just be glad your name isn't Randi, like my wife.

and some others...

"The Earth moves around the sun, does it not?"
-my dear English teacher who also happens to be a geography teacher.

"You're only 15?! I know a lot of illigal things we could do together then"
-my (retired) economics teacher

"I think I have lightheimer altz. No, that's not what it's called... Oh, i forgot what it's called now"
- the before mentioned English/geography teacher

"The characters in Sex and the City have more sex during one episode than I do during an entire year"
- another (former) economics teacher of mine

"Is it just me or is the mood awfully erotic in here?"
- my former Norwegian teacher (who btw was 70 years old).
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waiting2smile
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(Original post by Linda)
Some quotes from my all-time favourtie literature teacher, TK:

"Do you often get excited? How many times do you get excited my dear? In a row?"

"the oral presentations shall be held orally"

"the tongue is in my opinion the most interesting organ. It has very many functions... It can give great pleasure"

"Love is when you take off your panties"

"Post coitus omnia tristes est!"

TK to a girl in my class named Siri: Are you happy with your name?
Siri: Well, it doesn't work that well in English...
TK: just be glad your name isn't Randi, like my wife.

and some others...

"The Earth moves around the sun, does it not?"
-my dear English teacher who also happens to be a geography teacher.

"You're only 15?! I know a lot of illigal things we could do together then"
-my (retired) economics teacher

"I think I have lightheimer altz. No, that's not what it's called... Oh, i forgot what it's called now"
- the before mentioned English/geography teacher

"The characters in Sex and the City have more sex during one episode than I do during an entire year"
- another (former) economics teacher of mine

"Is it just me or is the mood awfully erotic in here?"
- my former Norwegian teacher (who btw was 70 years old).
I won't post any comments - they'll be overshadowed by yours
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Linda
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Almost forgot this one (also by TK):

Do you know how to get the best orgasms? I read this book (...)
sex on aeroplanes are better because of the low pressure/oxygen. Do we have any physicists in class who can explain this further? Anyone?
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happysunshine
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Media Studies is a good A-level.
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Joey_Johns
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Oh that would have to be when one of the female teachers said 'wheres my glasses, I put them down a minute ago, whos got my glasses'.

She started accusing people left right and centre of taking them.

After everyone had giggled, someone kindly told her they were on her head
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Adhsur
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My Philosophy Teacher "Transcendent spirituality is the key to all philosophy"..

Kind of worrying really :s
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bono_3
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(Original post by happysunshine)
Media Studies is a good A-level.
My form tutor said "General Studies is the best A-Level". LOL.
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Barny
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One of my biology teachers said that all haemaphrodites(sp) are criminals because they are different to normal people...

My humanities teacher saying that all 3rd world debt should be wiped off because they 'cant pay it back'

These are recent ones, Im sure Ive heard loads of stupid stuff..
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aaarrrggh
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"Tell anyone about this and I will kill your parents"

I used to hate my old gym teacher.
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aaarrrggh
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(Original post by imasillynarb)
One of my biology teachers said that all haemaphrodites(sp) are criminals because they are different to normal people...

My humanities teacher saying that all 3rd world debt should be wiped off because they 'cant pay it back'

These are recent ones, Im sure Ive heard loads of stupid stuff..
The third world debt one is a legitimate argument. A lot of people think most of the third worlds debt should be cancelled.
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Fly By
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(Original post by aaarrrggh)
"Tell anyone about this and I will kill your parents"

I used to hate my old gym teacher.

where did you get your avatar?!!??!?
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GH
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"The examiners are crazy about bondage, hydrogen bondage that is..."

"I would take my shirt off, but then they would arrest me..."

[Biology teacher]

"Theres a fire in the 6th form centre, quick whats the prodecure?"
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