What the most stupid thing your teacher has said Watch

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Kuz
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#41
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#41
(Original post by hattori)
What the most stupid thing your teacher has said?

I think this could be quite funny but I only have one example and it isn't that funny. It was when my biology teacher said muscle turns to fat if you stay inactive, when in actual fact it doesn't. I know it's not funny and it's not that stupid so I don't really want to explain it.

Im sure you have some funny ones.
Last week Wednesday my chemistry teacher said to me....

"Get out my class, your rude and I don't want to teach you, come back to my lessons when your prepared to apologise"

?Huh? :confused: ?Apologise? Yeah Right! As if I'm the type to go and apologise to something like you...Am I not a teenager!
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MattG
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(Original post by Kuz)
Last week Wednesday my chemistry teacher said to me....

"Get out my class, your rude and I don't want to teach you, come back to my lessons when your prepared to apologise"

?Huh? :confused: ?Apologise? Yeah Right! As if I'm the type to go and apologise to something like you...Am I not a teenager!
immaturity? come on aren't you doing a-level?
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Katie J
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Our annoying Chemistry teacher started winging at us last term because we were missing his lessons whilst on uni open days and interviews, he asked us to consider our priorities! Our human geography teacher can't count, only yesterday did she ask us to guess the 3 letter word which eventually turned out to be 'kills'. She also has a freaky obession with fertility, I understand that kind of thing is important to geography but every lesson she tells us how fertile we are & how she is infertile because she has gone through 'the change', always followed by an offer of an explanation of what that means...every lesson without fail. Yesterdays link was infertile soils...guess where that ended up...
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Kuz
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(Original post by MattG)
immaturity? come on aren't you doing a-level?
Hunny, you wasn't there I can understand that from your point of view it sounds immature, and in no way did I expect as an a-level student to be sent out of a classroom, but as the teacher later admitted it was his own fault and he was the one out of line (just because he was having a bad day)
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lou p lou
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my college was inspected last year and my philsophy teacher was doing globalisation with a 2nd year class + someone put up their hand and said 'didn't you tell us capitalism was inherantly evil?'... he was suprised he good a good comment on offsted.

samie inspection- my psychology teacher left the room to get something, came back and went 'oooh, you're all very quiet, you'd think an inspector was here.' there was.

actually that teacher is insane. we do comparative/evolutionary psychology with her and she does a great chimp impression- but it is very loud and she thinks she will be sacked if the principle ever saw/heard it.

lou xxx
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MattG
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(Original post by Kuz)
Hunny, you wasn't there I can understand that from your point of view it sounds immature, and in no way did I expect as an a-level student to be sent out of a classroom, but as the teacher later admitted it was his own fault and he was the one out of line (just because he was having a bad day)
oh ok sorry, i wasn't in a position to judge
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Everdawn
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#47
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"Where is Eve?"
"IM here Miss" *sitting right in front of her *
"Shes going to miss what we are doing today"
"IM here miss."
"Oh well"
"What am i a ghost or something?!"
"Oh hello!, where have you been?"
*rolls eyes*

Hapened a while ago with my English teacher.
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serious narb
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(Original post by imasillynarb)
Funny things my teachers have said..

Chemistry teacher:

'When you go to University everything changes, some people whove lived the life of luxury dont have a clue. The first girl I cocked at University didnt have a clue, if she had of grown up like the rest of us she would never have agreed to have sex with me'

'I remember one time I saw this girl I used to teach in year 9 in a pub, she was at Uni when I was speaking to her, I told her that her legs are amazing now as they were in year 9'

'I think girls wearing skirts at school should be compulsory, the boys in the lower years need something to think about when they discover masterbation'
was that Porthouse by any chane?

what A GOD, he hasd the papa smurf look to pull it off as well
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Barny
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#49
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(Original post by sillynarb2)
was that Porthouse by any chane?

what A GOD, he hasd the papa smurf look to pull it off as well
Yes, it was the legend that is Porthouse..he told us so much more as well I cant remember most of it

'Theres that stupid sponsored school walk thing on friday isnt there? Shall we walk the first 500m and then disappear to the pub for the rest of the day?'
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serious narb
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(Original post by imasillynarb)
Yes, it was the legend that is Porthouse..he told us so much more as well I cant remember most of it

'Theres that stupid sponsored school walk thing on friday isnt there? Shall we walk the first 500m and then disappear to the pub for the rest of the day?'
what A legend

i think i need to hijack his lessons and talk about Newcastle Unite more often...
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Barny
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(Original post by sillynarb2)
what A legend

i think i need to hijack his lessons and talk about Newcastle Unite more often...
He wasnt liking that much, he is usually alot more welcoming..
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serious narb
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(Original post by imasillynarb)
He wasnt liking that much, he is usually alot more welcoming..
he was hating me until i knew all of the players names
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Everdawn
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Oh, my Bio teacher..

Mr Biology: Ok, I have a video on sex I want you guys to watch..
My mate Azza: A video On sex?.... (and obviously my teacher knew what he was talking about.)
Mr Biology: Oh, dont worry, it's not debby does dallas.
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serious narb
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#54
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(Original post by imasillynarb)
One of my biology teachers said that all haemaphrodites(sp) are criminals because they are different to normal people...

My humanities teacher saying that all 3rd world debt should be wiped off because they 'cant pay it back'

These are recent ones, Im sure Ive heard loads of stupid stuff..
mate you actualy made that silly ***** cry you heartless *******
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Perplexed
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My General Studies teacher claimed Russia was in the EU, and that it had a lower population than the UK.
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Everdawn
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oh,

'I wonder if that's legal?" My legal teacher.
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starry
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"Class... change the headings of your class notes from "World War I" to "World War II" ... apart from that, there shouldn't be any problems".
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Powerline
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"Double click on the start menu" - Science Teacher
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sparkler
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it's not really stupid thing, but...

our lesbian science teacher came into class one day

her shirt buttons were undone, showing a lovely, heavily-laced, mammoth-sized bra. she put her foot up on the workbench stretching the crotch of her trousers almost to the point of bursting (you really, unfortunately couldn't help but notice!!! lol). she picked up a banana and, using it as a gun, shot into the air and yelled 'yahoo, thank god it's friday!!!'

it was thursday!
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hornblower
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The classic quotes I remember are:

Headmaster: 'Turn around, or I'll castrate you!'

Deputy: 'Stop! Or I'll destroy you!'

Biology: 'I know you don't fancy me, but people will start asking questions.'

Physics: 'No, that wasn't an orgasm.'

Chemistry: 'And like the most exciting things in life, it doesn't last very long.'

Chemistry: 'The Kama Sutra is a very interesting book. A lot of it is impossible to do though.'

IT: 'I feel like a monk.'

German: 'Thanks. I'll read it tonight in bed. I've got nothing better to do.'

There are many, many more...
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