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    Also..just remembered....we were playing guess who in french the other day (all remember this game, right?) and at the end the teacher came out with "but the real question is which one would you actually date...i quite like [someone] he's got a nice smile" on followed a conversation of the relative merits of the little cartoon faces.
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    My old biology teacher tried to convince us a shark was a mammal.
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    Electronics teacher: "I don't actually know that much about electronics, just more than most."
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    In Humanities class in year 11:

    Someone asks "Where's Mecca"

    Teacher: "Israel"

    I was half expecting some poor joke about Mecca bingo......but even that would have been better than saying Israel!
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    Well one of my tutors said that i would piss a BA and then in the same sentence said she is a big fan of RUN DNA. I thought it was funny.
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    (Original post by Pegasus)
    In Humanities class in year 11:

    Someone asks "Where's Mecca"

    Teacher: "Israel"

    I was half expecting some poor joke about Mecca bingo......but even that would have been better than saying Israel!
    ddi she realise?
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    (Original post by starry)
    ddi she realise?
    No, I really think she had no idea where Mecca was and Israel was supposedly an 'educated guess' :rolleyes:
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    "You need a cheese slicer to cheese the chip off your shoulder". I have no idea what it was about - the teacher was a mad ugandan guy who was terrible at speaking english.

    MB

    "Carjackers are the hero’s of our time"

    And in one lesson:

    "There is almost no chance of any of you getting an A* in your GCSE physics"

    followed by in the next:

    "...Mr Brown (head of physics) has approached me and said that some of you have got it into their heads that I said you couldn’t pass GCSE physics with an A*. That's not what I said..."

    Ah yes, the classic quotes of our beloved Physics teacher...
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    (Original post by Pegasus)
    No, I really think she had no idea where Mecca was and Israel was supposedly an 'educated guess' :rolleyes:
    pooor stupid fool she is indeed
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    Head of VI form: Saddam will be back in power within ten years. My money's on Saddam!

    German: Go in your underwear!
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    (Original post by hattori)
    What the most stupid thing your teacher has said?

    I think this could be quite funny but I only have one example and it isn't that funny. It was when my biology teacher said muscle turns to fat if you stay inactive, when in actual fact it doesn't. I know it's not funny and it's not that stupid so I don't really want to explain it.

    Im sure you have some funny ones.
    shut up! sit down! and do ur work!
    that one cracks me up
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    I never did my homework once on a question paper and the teacher came round collecting them in and when he came to mine, he picked it up (it was blank except for the questions) took a long look at it, handed it me back and said put your name on
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    (Original post by polljk)
    shut up! sit down! and do ur work!
    that one cracks me up
    any teacher in partiular? and what about when you were doing elextronics?
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    My headteacher once covered a history lesson and put us in groups of 4 to work on a presentation, then told us to work in silence!

    We also had a substitute teacher from Vietnam who had limited English, and he allowed one of my classmates to go to the toilet "for a ****".

    A physics teacher we had always cracked me up. He's Scottish, and repeatedly says "OK" "no" "the thing is" and "basically" over and over again in a lesson. We used to keep tally scores and he managed 150 OK's in a 50 minute lesson.
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    (Original post by hattori)
    What the most stupid thing your teacher has said?.
    In an English lesson one day:

    <about to write on the board>
    <rubs eyebrows>
    English Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell accommodation?
    English Teacher: Spelling's never been my thing.
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    (Original post by Pencil)
    <about to write on the board>
    <rubs eyebrows>
    English Teacher: Does anyone know how to spell accommodation?
    English Teacher: Spelling's never been my thing.
    lol! Its true, i do well enough in english and i can't spell, so it's not necessary, but when marking your work how can she correct you? I've known accommodation since primary school, all you need to know is that it's double 'm', this and "definitely" are always spelt wrong. :rolleyes:
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    maths teacher's fav phrase:

    "A watched clock never boils"
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    Pupil: Can I go to the toilet, please?

    Maths teacher: I don't know. I don't hide in the toilets watching to see if boys CAN go to the toilet, do I?
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    head of sixth form: "your mum takes it up the arse" :eek:
 
 
 
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