Girls can you get turned on physically even without being touched- down there?

I guess its a two part question. another being how do you know when you are turned on when unlike guys there isnt an erection as a 'telltale sign? Like do you feel yourself getting wet? what other physical/emotional sensations let you know you're turned on?

This is something ive had trouble with in the past as i think id been thinking about it too much from a purely physical perspective.

When with a girl and 'fooling around' as they say in the states as it leads up to sex i would often get this insecurity of not knowing what to do to manage the girls horniess and worrying if my 'moves' are going to be pleasing. This ofc ruins the spontaneity but at the same time i had no idea what else to do.

I also hear girls always complaining about how badly guys finger them which only increases my insecurity and lowers my pathetically low self esteem even more.

I just thought something interesting tho as i was sending flirty texts back and forth with a girl. I found myself getting quite turned on just through texting so this led me to the epiphany that if that happens to me then i bet this could be the case with girls too- and you girls feels emotions even more acutely than guys so i surmise it is only magnified with you lot.

If this is the case then im thinking i dont have to worry as much as i thought about 'manual stimulation' but rather instead setting the right mood- ie pumping up the sexual tension. indeed maybe NOt touching till the right moment (all those crumby romance novels which take a whole book to reach a head being a good example) would be even better as it allows the imagination more time to build the passion.

Im not talking about reading 50 shades of grey or that crap but rather real life situations when you are alone together with a guy. should guys worry less about what to do physically and more on whats going on mentally/emotionally. im thinking so.

Thoughts?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Girls definitely do get turned on without touching, just as I'm sure guys do. The build up to foreplay/sex is a big part of it, lots of eye contact and cheeky smiles with 'knowing' looks does it for me :P I really wouldn't worry too much about your performance 'down there' - just as guys are a lot better at 'doing it themselves', so are girls, so you're never going to win! The best thing to do is just to watch and listen to how she reacts when you do certain things, that way you'll learn what she likes, because everyone is different.
Girls have the same insecurities about pleasing men, it's just that girls (unfortunately) are usually harder to please.
As for how do we know when we're turned on, probably the same as men but without the erection! I find myself making a lot of uncontrollable noises, heavy breathing.. and just really wanting to have sex haha!
I think what you are saying about the right mood and not touching until the right moment is pretty much spot on - building up tension will definitely turn a girl on.
Anyway, worry less about the physical stuff yes, it's important but so is the eye contact and attention.

Reply 2

Harambulus

Thansk for the informative reply :smile:

Of course they can.

yes

Yes.

Original post by Harambulus

I guess its a two part question. another being how do you know when you are turned on when unlike guys there isnt an erection as a 'telltale sign? Like do you feel yourself getting wet? what other physical/emotional sensations let you know you're turned on?

This is something ive had trouble with in the past as i think id been thinking about it too much from a purely physical perspective.

When with a girl and 'fooling around' as they say in the states as it leads up to sex i would often get this insecurity of not knowing what to do to manage the girls horniess and worrying if my 'moves' are going to be pleasing. This ofc ruins the spontaneity but at the same time i had no idea what else to do.

I also hear girls always complaining about how badly guys finger them which only increases my insecurity and lowers my pathetically low self esteem even more.

I just thought something interesting tho as i was sending flirty texts back and forth with a girl. I found myself getting quite turned on just through texting so this led me to the epiphany that if that happens to me then i bet this could be the case with girls too- and you girls feels emotions even more acutely than guys so i surmise it is only magnified with you lot.

If this is the case then im thinking i dont have to worry as much as i thought about 'manual stimulation' but rather instead setting the right mood- ie pumping up the sexual tension. indeed maybe NOt touching till the right moment (all those crumbyromance novels which take a whole book to reach a head being a good example) would be even better as it allows the imagination more time to build the passion.

Im not talking about reading 50 shades of grey or that crap but rather real life situations when you are alone together with a guy. should guys worry less about what to do physically and more on whats going on mentally/emotionally. im thinking so.

Thoughts?

Reply 7

Truflais

I view dirty talk as foreplay. Yes, many women get turned on without being touched.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Absolutely OP.

The exact mistake boys make with fingering is to think it is the be all and end all, rush in there like some machine to "get the job done", and not bother with other foreplay / mood setting etc. If you were going to have a rule, you shouldn't directly touch ladyparts until they're already wet and she's desperate to be touched because she's so turned on.

(Imma girl)

OP is a virgin.

isnt that a chicken or the egg thing tho :P how do i know its wet down there unless i touch. :smile:

being a lil facetious there i get the underlying meaning.

i think this is the crux of what i was getting at tho and what spurred me to write the post. in the past the 'finger method' had been my only trick in the toolbox to get them horny; that and offering them to shake hands with sergeant pepper. if neither of these seemed to break the vaults of paradise i was left with another severe case of blueballs.

interestingly ive noticed that alot of times when i went to go for the finger salute that the girls were already wet which thus reinforces my point that there are other things i hadnt been aware of making them horny leading up to that. often tho the fingering led to a thwarting of the mood as i must have come across like a dispassionate clinician with his latest patient in the operating theater.

ie maybe i wasnt aware what good i was doing before and any of that screwed up once my focus moved to trying in vein for some ill conceived outcome. .

ie agina- in the past i thought the finger blasting would get them horny whereas i surmise in hindsight it might be more about everything else leading up to it which gets them horny so ill focus on getting my tom jones mix cd in order to set the tone for next time.

Original post by Anonymous

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 11

tris0h0h7

Lol funny question, but everybody can

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Definitely. Sometimes, I can actually be more turned on before touching/ first touch than by actual fingering.
Also, guys think they're the only ones who can have the awkwardness of being horny in public, and although it might be more obvious VISUALLY if you're a guy, it still happens a lot - to me, anyway. Especially if I'm clumsy/ distant... you can imagine where my thoughts are... :sexface: