Facebook and weirdos

Okay, this is an utterly serious question.

Does anyone else get weirdos (who you've never met - never seen from Cambs) adding you as friends/sending you messages? I CONSTANTLY get this, and some of the messages have been very rude/disgusting and others have been by guys with really strange/sick profiles. The last straw was today when some guy sent me a weird message and then I looked at his profile and saw a pic of me tagged up randomly to another girl in an album he clearly made of weird/retarded people's pics. I really don't see what on my profile can trigger this and frankly I'm finding it really upsetting.

This should quite possibly be in H&R, but I specifically want the opinons of Camb. people.

Reply 1

puppy

minimo

Okay, this is an utterly serious question.

Does anyone else get weirdos (who you've never met - never seen from Cambs) adding you as friends/sending you messages? I CONSTANTLY get this, and some of the messages have been very rude/disgusting and others have been by guys with really strange/sick profiles. The last straw was today when some guy sent me a weird message and then I looked at his profile and saw a pic of me tagged up randomly to another girl in an album he clearly made of weird/retarded people's pics. I really don't see what on my profile can trigger this and frankly I'm finding it really upsetting.

This should quite possibly be in H&R, but I specifically want the opinons of Camb. people.

My gay friend gets that a lot when people hack into their mate's profiles and change all their info, including their sexual orientation and then go around poking gay men so that when their mate logs back in they've been poked back by all the gay guys their mates poked and it's all a wonderfully witty (and mature) joke.

I get a few guys I don't know poking me as a joke as well, some in the last few days- must be exam boredom I guess. It sucks. Maybe change your privacy setttings so only the people in your friends network can see your profile?

Reply 2

minimo

OP

15

Yeah, I've done that. The random poking is now a given - get that EVERY DAY. But when I get weird messages, it just makes me feel more upset/insecure.

Reply 3

apd35

9

If you don't accept people as friends, they can't tag you on photos and if you change your privacy settings, you won't come up on as many searches, hope this helps.

Reply 4

**noooni**

3

minimo

Okay, this is an utterly serious question.

Does anyone else get weirdos (who you've never met - never seen from Cambs) adding you as friends/sending you messages? I CONSTANTLY get this, and some of the messages have been very rude/disgusting and others have been by guys with really strange/sick profiles. The last straw was today when some guy sent me a weird message and then I looked at his profile and saw a pic of me tagged up randomly to another girl in an album he clearly made of weird/retarded people's pics. I really don't see what on my profile can trigger this and frankly I'm finding it really upsetting.

This should quite possibly be in H&R, but I specifically want the opinons of Camb. people.

scary.
Cant you block them in anyway?

Minimo

Here's a thesis about why it might happen, which hopefully might offer a relatively benign motivation. Of course there are no facts to back this up, it's a ramble....

The internet provides people with the ability to interact with others anonymously. So the minimo that I see in here, and the threeportdrift that you see, might be totally unlike our real characters. Most people are probably pretty much themselves, particularly in a forum like TSR where part of the point is information sharing, and despite some evidence to the contrary (!) establishing credibility might incline one to honesty. However, on other forums, you can explore and interact with people in ways you simply can't or don't in real life. Therefore, as someone who is relatively shy in r/l, I could develop an online personality that is gregarious, brash, bolshy etc, all those things I dare not be in r/l. It would be quite an adventure, a private excitement that doesn't interfere with r/l

All that is probably taken as read by folks who are internet savvy wrt forums etc. But combine it with a 'bubble' like Cambridge, where many people (though far from all), have led relatively conformist lives, ie abided by the rules of their youth where success is important, school, books etc then something like facebook provides the ideal opportunity to explore 'outside the box', to be the rebel, nuisance, pervert, or whatever that they would never be in real life. It almost goes without saying that clumsy attempts at this can appear weird, creepy etc.

Can't be more specific than that I'm afraid, I logged onto facebook, but couldn't understand a thing thereafter, no idea how it works wrt poking etc.

Not sure if any of that made any sense at all, so now I'm going to use the use my internet anonymity by pressing submit in the knowledge that only tpd looks stupid, and the real me is still protected in their ivory tower :wink:

Reply 6

minimo

OP

15

I'm really worried. I asked the guy pretty emphatically to get my picture off his album and this is the reply I got:
"well unfortunatly it is not against facebook rules. I might decide to remove it when I'm ready."

WHAT THE HELLLL????? It's a magdalene historian.

Reply 7

minimo

OP

15

The pic isn't tagged to my name, so there isn't anything I can do about it. It's the second time he tried adding me as a friend, I've just realised - he tried it in March too.

Reply 8

blissy

15

minimo

I'm really worried. I asked the guy pretty emphatically to get my picture off his album and this is the reply I got:
"well unfortunatly it is not against facebook rules. I might decide to remove it when I'm ready."

WHAT THE HELLLL????? It's a magdalene historian.

Put something nasty in his pidge

Reply 9

minimo

OP

15

and now he's changed his privacy settings so I can never tell if he removed it or not unless I add him as a friend.

Reply 10

blissy

15

I take it he's a member of a drinking society?

Reply 11

minimo

OP

15

I don't know? I've already had messages from some other git in Magd drinking soc. I'm really sick of it. I think I might as well leave FBook, coz its gotten quite unnerving. There are no suggestive pics of me on my profile, nothing even remotely sleazy, NOTHING to cause this.

Reply 12

Camford

12

blissy

Put something nasty in his pidge

Hell yeah. Give him Hell!

p.s. Glad to you posting in here again.

Reply 13

blissy

15

It's not nice to be bullied :frown:

Reply 14

minimo

OP

15

Why me though? Of all the girls in Cambridge... :frown:

Reply 15

Helenia

20

minimo

I don't know? I've already had messages from some other git in Magd drinking soc. I'm really sick of it. I think I might as well leave FBook, coz its gotten quite unnerving. There are no suggestive pics of me on my profile, nothing even remotely sleazy, NOTHING to cause this.

No, but people are bastards, generally, and will pick on anyone a little bit different. You have nothing suggestive there, but (and I'm really sorry if this sounds horrible, I don't mean to!) your picture with your glasses does look a little...unusual. I know that you have to wear them and can't help it, but sad ignorant idiots who like to laugh at people don't know that. That's all I can think of. As for why it's happened more than once, if they're in the same college or are remotely related, then it'll be by word of mouth.

Up your privacy levels, and just ignore them. Don't give them the satisfaction of a response, because they'll carry on.

Reply 16

minimo

OP

15

Yes, I had a feeling it was that. Might just change my pic (i.e. use a random one). Just thought at Cambs, it wouldnt happen because people would be more mature. Obviously not.

Reply 17

Helenia

20

minimo

Yes, I had a feeling it was that. Might just change my pic (i.e. use a random one). Just thought at Cambs, it wouldnt happen because people would be more mature. Obviously not.

Most people are. Some idiots, unfortunately, aren't. They're probably the same ones that swallow goldfish/eat dog food/their own vomit and pretend it's all "good banter." You can do without them - just ignore them.

Loads of people have pictures of a kitten/other furry animal/cartoon etc - why not? :wink:

Reply 18

minimo

OP

15

Yes

Thank for the help everyone. I've now changed my privacy settings so only friends can see them, and my profile pic is no longer me (or anyone human!) :wink:

Hopefully this will sort it.