The Student Room Group

Aughhh friend copies everything

My friendship group has suffered a bit of a reshuffle recently, and as a result we've acquired a new person. She's the best friend of one of our friends, and is a really nice person. The only problem is that every mannerism or saying which is individual to each person.. she copies completely. It's come to the point where I mistook her for my friend the other day, because of the way she was talking; the jokes she made and basically her general mannerisms.

I know it's a minor compliment; "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" and all that, but it gets so annoying. People our age like to feel they have a sense of identity in a group.. but she seems to take this away as she's almost all of us merged into one. Every phrase used in the past seems overdone now.

Is there any way to stop her from doing this?
tell her.

[edit]once I was picking up a particular mannerism from a friend (dunno why) and I didn't even realise it until he told me, and I was like "****, I'm copying you? ARg!", so just tell her[/edit]
Reply 2
Anonymous


Is there any way to stop her from doing this?

Aquire some really obnoxious mannerisms, snort, pick your nose, etc :biggrin: Then you'll be an individual and I doubt she'll dare to copy you!
Reply 3
the only thing you can do it tell her how you feel about it, and how much it's getting on your nerves. despite that, it may still take a while for her to change her habits.

imitation is a form of flattery if done in small quantities only.
Reply 4
imitation is a form of flattery if done in small quantities only.


How true; once you can't do anything without the person doing it too, it's far from flattering. :smile:
Reply 5
Actually the friend whom she's closest to snapped the other day, and told her how the words she uses are exactly her words. Unfortunately the friend just said: "I know other people who talk like that, too.. besides you steal my words..".

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it does get quite infuriating.
Reply 6
suuuuuuseh
How true; once you can't do anything without the person doing it too, it's far from flattering. :smile:


you have no idea how much i agree with that :biggrin: :wink:
Reply 7
i know exactly how u feel. one of my close mates copies all my clothes i know its stupid but its really annoying. once she went out wearing the exact same outfit as me, we looked ridiculous. but even though every1 above has sed just tell her i know how hard it is. when she says, do you mind if i get this? i really cant just say yeah i really mind!. hmm.. you could maybe get every1 to talk to her, or her best friend, otherwise i dont have a better suggestion.
Reply 8
.x.g.x.
i know exactly how u feel. one of my close mates copies all my clothes i know its stupid but its really annoying. once she went out wearing the exact same outfit as me, we looked ridiculous. but even though every1 above has sed just tell her i know how hard it is. when she says, do you mind if i get this? i really cant just say yeah i really mind!. hmm.. you could maybe get every1 to talk to her, or her best friend, otherwise i dont have a better suggestion.


Exactly! I can honestly say if I read this thread I guess I would say: "Talk to her in a tactful way". But it's so hard to do it without hurting her feelings. You're basically telling someone that they don't have their own personality, which is pretty hurtful.

I was pretty grateful when her best friend said what she did, but it seemed to do nothing. I think she was understandably embarrassed and a tad defensive, but she didn't really take it on board.
Anonymous
rape her

Not possible, assuming this friend would simply copy the OP and start "raping" back. It's not rape if both people want it.

Anyway, back to relevancies - all my friends copy me to an extent, and I copy them, it's the natural thing to do when you're around each other. And it is flattering. But when someone does it too much, just stand up to them. Maybe even in a jokey way. "Bloody hell, do you ever say anything original?" would be how I'd go about it, but I'm not a subtle person. I might do it in a joking way, I might not - but either way it needs to be said. She's annoying you a lot - does it really matter to you if it would annoy her to know she's coping you? If it does, then it can't be annoying you that much. If it doesn't, tell her.
Reply 10
Point her to this thread on MSN and she'll get the idea, I'm sure.

(And then you could pretend that you pasted the link wrongly in her MSN window, and apologise, but the message will still get across for sure. :rolleyes:)
Visions of 'single white female' lol.

A lot of people do it to just fit in, she is probably feeling a bit out of place at the beginning by joining your group, hopefully she will develop her own identity after a while, hopefully!
Yeah you need to tell her but in a nice way. I no how you feel though it can be so annoying. She may be doing it to fit in with your group.
As a few people have already said - she's just trying to fit in. It must be hard for her being the only new person in your group and she's obviously trying to get you to like her. Unfortunately, through trying to have something in common with you all she's unintentionally annoying you.
As she's probably already feeling vulnerable about being the "newbie", it would be a bit harsh to say something to her straight out - even if it is in a jokey manner, she'll probably still feel hurt. Although this sounds a bit like what you'd do to train your pet dog - try praising her for being herself e.g. laughing at jokes she's thought of herself, telling her her "own" new top looks great. Hopefully, she'll soon recognise that your group respects each person's individuality and she'll be more comfortable with her own image/personality.

Laura xxx
Reply 14
punch her in the face and see if she does it back....
Reply 15
jsut tell he to piss off for a bit lol.
Nutter
Point her to this thread on MSN and she'll get the idea, I'm sure.

(And then you could pretend that you pasted the link wrongly in her MSN window, and apologise, but the message will still get across for sure. :rolleyes:)


But surely once she had read your post, she would have caught on? :p:
Reply 17
Thanks for the advice everyone. :smile: I talked to my other friends to see if I'm being hypersensitive, and they agreed she does still do it.

I'm not sure if now is the best time to er, confront, as she's currently very angry at us for not organising anything for this weekend in time- because we're going on our Duke of Edinburgh expedition on Friday until Sunday (Me, my best friend and her best friend) and she says she won't be able to see us, and we'll all be together.

I know she must be upset that she's missing out (however, we didn't know her at the time, so she couldn't have joined our group), but it's kind of infuriating. We're walking 50km, and we're going to be sniping at each other the whole time (expecially if this weather keeps up- carrying a third of our body weight in 20 odd degree heat!), it's not a little friendly get together.

Has anyone confronted their friends about this in the past, and if so, how did they react? How are things now?
Reply 18
Ahh, she's getting worse..