aqa gcse english marking jan 2013

Can someone mark my aqa gcse english language paper I done for the january 2013 paper. Also, I would appreciate any constructive criticism to help me improve. Thank you.

1 )We learn that the ‘men’ have ‘gardens for maize. Sweet potato and pumpkins, bananas and peanuts’. There is evidence of ’29 uncontacted tribes’, but they believe there is ‘up to 70’. We learn that they moved to ‘the Amazon 100 years ago to escape a rubber production boom that enslaved many Indians’. The tribes can look after themselves as they are ‘healthy’, and they will only continue to ‘survive if they remain isolated from the outside world’. However, they have been pictured with a ‘machete and a metal cooking pot’, which they got from ‘other Indians’ who had ‘contact with loggers or raided logging camps’. This is a problem as diseases could easily spread and ‘kill up to 50 percent’ of the tribe’s population.

2) The headline starts with ‘slimezilla!’ The use of the exclamation mark makes the article seem as a game, and people are shouting, this is ironic as in the text we learn that the jellyfish is the reason for people getting stung (people may shout in shock when they are stung), fish getting poisoned and nuclear power stations getting attacked. This is effective as it helps the reader to understand that something as small as a jellyfish which isn’t perceived as being too dangerous can really cause trouble.
The use of the word ‘monster’ is done to make the jellyfish seem worse than they really are, as if they are these really cruel creatures that cause trouble for fun. This is followed up in the text where it says that their ‘latest assault’ was on a ‘helpless Japan’. This makes the reader empathise for the victims of this ‘monster jellyfish’ and it makes them have an instant dislike to the jellyfishes.

Having said that, the picture contrasts this idea. The picture is of a man going towards a jellyfish, and it’s like the jellyfish is trying to retreat, something a ‘monster’ wouldn’t do. The man also looks physically bigger than the jellyfish, this show that it’s man fault causing ‘global warming’ for all the bad things that the jellyfish were doing, it isn’t the jellyfishes fault. This confuses the reader, as they are unsure of who is to blame.

3) We learn that Bill is instantly scared: ‘every neuron in my brain was awake’ this use of exaggeration shows his level of fear, as obviously when you’re awake your whole brain is active, however because he’s so scared he makes this remark.

We learn that Bill is very confused. He insist that ‘something is out there’, however Stephen just shrugs it off and says ‘it’s probably a skunk’. This shows that either Bill is very paranoid, and he’s making things seem worse than they really are or that he’s very aware of his surroundings.
Bill feels he’s confident in himself to move his ‘tent’. Personally, I don’t know why he does that, however because Bill is probably an expert in camping he feels confident enough to pull off a strange manoeuvre.
We learn that Bill is agitated. He wants the ‘animal to withdraw’. This shows that Bill is like a predator waiting to attack whatever he encounters. He also calls the bear an ‘animal’ almost as if he doesn’t care what the animal is, he will attack is regardless, this hence shows Bills agitation to go and kill.

4) Source 2 is informing the reader on an event, and source 3 is describing an event.
Source 3 uses a lot of long sentences; this could be done to show the panic of Bill, this is contrasted by the use of short sentences as well to show surprise. For example ‘A deer would have bolted’. Bill uses a short sentence here to show his shock of the animal not moving. It’s effective as it makes the reader feel as if they are in Bills shoes, as they are going with the ups and downs he’s facing with him.
Source 2 uses long sentences as well; the use of them is done to give a lot of facts. Source 2 also uses short paragraphs so a lot of quick snappy information can be shared.

On the other hand, source 3 uses one big paragraph, this is effective as it shows that bill can’t escape facing the bear, and there is no ending. It’s also done to engage the reader with the vital scene of the book, so they keep reading and don’t stop.

They both use emotive language. In source 2 it says ‘helpless Japan’. This is effective as it makes the reader feel sorry for Japan, as if it’s a threatened scared person instead of a big NIC country.
Source 3 also uses emotive language. ‘Carefully, very carefully’. This may not seem as emotive language at first, however here the reader understands how scared and vulnerable Bill feels, and even though it wants to kill this animal they still feel sorry for him. Repetition of the world’ carefully’ is done to show the deep thought of Bill, hence making the reader empathise will Bill as they understand how he’s feeling.
Source 2 uses a strange rhyme of ‘shape or size-only two shinning eyes’. This is effective as it helps the reader to understand the randomness of the ‘bear’ attack; it was unexpected just like how the use of rhyme was unexpected.

However, source 2 uses a theory to explain the unexpected ‘slimely plague’ instead of a rhyme. This is because it’s article and hence it needs to be more formal.