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Too ugly for uni

i don't know if this will make sense. i've never felt pretty or anything, was a tomboy when i was little and just lacked self confidence i guess. i was always taller than the boys in my class and yada yada yada yada. anyways, do you worry that you will 'too ugly for uni'?

if you're thinking, well am i actually ugly? i'd say i don't know, i don't think i'm ugly ugly, i could do with losing weight i gained when i was ill. plus i'm shy with guys, especially over quite a few scars i have. i'm not an attention wh*re or anything, i'm surprised when guys do pay me attention and assume they must be having a bet or insane or something.

so my fear is that i will get to uni, and all the girls will be slim,pretty and actually have decent personalities! i'm afraid i'll miss out on party of the uni experiece, like getting dressed up to go out, like i never wear skirts or anything, bcos of my legs, i think every guy there will overlook me or call me behind my back.

hmm it;s not like i want every guy to fall for me or anything like that. i know this sounds kinda silly and you could post a load ofcliches about how it's what's on the inside that really counts. but that doesn't stop me worrying. i'd hope ppl weren't that shallow. actually i hope it's just me being insecure and stuff (yes i know i need to work on the inside too or whatever).

but is it like this?! i don't wanna miss out on something because of looks...or is it just a worry? anyone else? if you've read all this, well done!
thanks!

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Reply 1

puppy

I'm pretty sure people at uni are adults, or at least they were last time I checked. :rolleyes:

Why on earth would you think everyone at uni was beautiful and shunned everyone who wasn't just like them? Uni is full of all sorts of people, obviously, they don't have some kind of weird screening process. If you go to uni with that attitude then yes, people will think you're a freak but generally speaking I highly doubt anyone is going to care enough to count the number of times you wear a skirt or whatever. You can go out and enjoy yourself the same as everyone else, I don't really get the problem

Reply 2

Angelil

Anyone worth their salt won't care what you look like.
I've suffered from acne since I was 10 and now I'm 20 and still get the odd spot but I also have acne scars now that I won't be able to get rid of. My spots and my teeth (slightly discoloured from fluoride supplements I was given as a child) made me convinced I would never get a boyfriend. What happened? I had a fling with a third-year in my first term and by the end of my first term I'd found my first serious boyfriend (who I'm still with).
It really doesn't make any difference. Just get yourself out there and enjoy yourself doing whatever it is you want to do, whether it's clubbing, societies, whatever :smile:

Reply 3

Tw!stEd

Ya should be thanking us for reading it...because it's aload of BS....
Yeah it's you being a fool, people at uni are mature and will like ya for who ya are....

Reply 4

bedbug

Anonymous

so my fear is that i will get to uni, and all the girls will be slim,pretty and actually have decent personalities!

Where in the world do you find girls who are ALL slim, pretty and nice?

Very few people would base decisions on who to be friends with on how a person looks. Boyfriend/girlfriend maybe, but not friends. I suggest this summer you go out lots to places where you'll be forced to be social (maybe parties, clubs, etc - anything where you're forced to meet new people). You probably won't enjoy it at first, but if you do it enough it becomes a lot easier. The more experience you get like this before you go off to uni, the better, as you'll be less worried about it when you get there.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

actually, if its any consolation, i feel very similar to you. but i guess i don't just feel ugly 'for uni', i feel it all the time, everywhere i go. although i know i'm not completely ugly, i do get some attention..but i know what you mean. theres always a part of you that is insecure, and wants more. its taken me years to try and accept me for who i am, physically..but this is usually one of the main things that gets me down in life. as i said, i don't really know why, but i think i need to start learning to accept myself first. don't worry *hugs*

Reply 6

alej18

Most guys at these parties will be too pissed to even tell if you're ugly or not so i wouldn't worry. As others have said ppl dont 'shun' people because theyre ugly (unless in a hollywood movie such as mean girls).

Reply 7

bengreen

Basically at uni you will meet SO many different types of people from different backgrounds. You will be fine.

Reply 8

In my own world

Okay...if you continue to think like that then the way you look and feel about yourself will affect the experience you have at university. Everyone is different. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves to varying degrees (me very much included) but in all honesty the majority of people will not notice those things unless you highlight them or moan about them.

Uni is an experience to be enjoyed...don't ruin it by being overly self conscious. And remember....you can party in trousers as well as skirts!

Reply 9

AllergicToFairydust

I have worn jeans to everything I can think of - everyday of uni, every night out. I am not pretty, although my boyfriend thinks so and I could lose a bit of weight and my fashion sense is 0 but you know how many comments I have heard this year

ZERO!

Zip.

Nahed.

None.

Reply 10

Just some guy

Yeah, if you're butt ugly I would give uni a miss. Nowadays all the top unis make you walk around the campus for an hour and if you don't get at least three people whistling at you, you don't get an offer.

:rolleyes:

Reply 11

grace

why don't you try boosting your confidence before you go to uni? but some new clothes, get a new hair cut/colour, experiment with makeup; just try to generally do the best with what you have. no one at all cares what you look like, there are plenty of happy, confident, popular people at uni who are less than aesthetically perfect. university isn't a runway, everyone is not a model and looks do not dictate your social life! cheer up :smile:

x xx x

Reply 12

conservativebohemian

I don't understand your concerns. If you want to get laid, there are some who'd lure even a washing machine to bed. If you're looking for a bf, try outside parties (or even outside uni). If you're going to uni because of guys, re-consider, because uni is not about who looks fabulous, it's about learning and interacting with people on a new level.

Reply 13

Geerththanan

Go To Uni! End Of.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

I think you should go to univ! Most people there are open-minded. After univ you'll laugh when thinking about your question!

By the way, I'm very small myself, which actually attracts more attention than being tall at univ, as the average length at univ is greater than elsewhere. :wink:

Reply 15

bluenoxid

Just some guy

Oh well Ive failed

Ive not got to uni yet, but my impression is that we have left the luggage behind and the awful mistakes that we made during puberty as well. Dont worry :biggrin:

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

i'm glad i found the forum, everyone's replies are appreciated and i'm glad you were all blatantly honest. hmm maybe it would make sense if i said i was diagnosed with BDD amongst a list of other things-so i tend to worry and panic over things other people wouldn't. i also have OCD, so it's kinda a reassuring seeking behaviour (asking qs) which is classed as a compulsion in itself and something happened when i was younger to make me insecure (complex). i guess i was just getting all worked up!! no i'm not going to get laid or anything like that. i'm sorry for the ppl who feel the same way. thanks for your input guys.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

ooo actually, i think i've found myself more this past yr than ever b4, and i do hope that at uni i can move further in that direction =)

Reply 18

Anonymous #4

^^ Yes that's a good way to think of things! Be positive! To the O,P I feel your concerns because I'm afraid of looks etc too.

Reply 19

helki

Life really isn't just about how people look. I know plenty of pretty girls and fit guys who are so far up their own arses... and who can't hold my interest for longer than 5 mins!
At uni you'll meet loads of people and it'll be your personality that matters. You sound like a nice person and i'm sure you are certainly not "too ugly for uni".
Everyone at uni is in the same boat remember, when we get there we'll all have our insecurities and be a bit nervous about meeting new people - i know i sure am!
There's something for everyone at uni so i'm sure you'll be fine, just try and relax about it, the person in the post a few above is right "we're adults", most people are not going to judge you on the way you look, and the ones that do simply aren't worth knowing.

Sorry if that sounded cliche, but it's true!