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Unit 5 essay questions!

I'm struggling with these essays and I can imagine alot of other people are aswell, so I was thinking maybe we should all start writing our essays out on here, for everyone to compare and give advice??


P.S : Constructive criticism only please, I know I suck at writing essays... one of the reasons I didn't pick English A level..... AQA screwed that one up for me though!
Original post by Melissa.S.
I'm struggling with these essays and I can imagine alot of other people are aswell, so I was thinking maybe we should all start writing our essays out on here, for everyone to compare and give advice??


P.S : Constructive criticism only please, I know I suck at writing essays... one of the reasons I didn't pick English A level..... AQA screwed that one up for me though!


Hi Melissa, I've given it a really quick look over and briefly highlighted a few points on the document that don't read well and also commented on what else you can add to get more marks.

You've got a good plan and covered a wide breadth and everything there is pretty relevant so I'd say that's pretty much a definite 9/9 marks already for breadth, relevance, and quality of language. Pretty much everything you've put makes sense and I don't think there are any absolutely glaring errors.

What you need is more detail and more scientific terminology! Pack it full of information, it should read like a textbook. At the moment it's maybe around 8 marks for science? Though I'd get a second opinion. As you are writing think, Is this A2-level or could I have written this at GCSE? If you could have written it at GCSE you'll gain no credit for it. To gain the highest marks (12-16 for science) try and go beyond the specification maybe memorise the names of the bacteria or molecules in the Krebs cycle (but only do this if you can still be relevant and detailed). It's an okay length but I think it needs to be slightly longer (this should happen anyway as you start to include more detail) Aim for 800 words minimum.

June 2011 essay.docx,
I hope that helped! :smile:
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 2
Original post by Melissa.S.
I'm struggling with these essays and I can imagine alot of other people are aswell, so I was thinking maybe we should all start writing our essays out on here, for everyone to compare and give advice??


P.S : Constructive criticism only please, I know I suck at writing essays... one of the reasons I didn't pick English A level..... AQA screwed that one up for me though!


Hi Melissa
Just thought I'd let you know that there is a aqa biol5 essay marking thread thanks to atomic man . Some essays have already been posted there, which have been marked by others.

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2363924&p=42952159#post42952159

Me. :biggrin:
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 3
Original post by pinkfairyarmadillo
Hi Melissa, I've given it a really quick look over and briefly highlighted a few points on the document that don't read well and also commented on what else you can add to get more marks.

You've got a good plan and covered a wide breadth and everything there is pretty relevant so I'd say that's pretty much a definite 9/9 marks already for breadth, relevance, and quality of language. Pretty much everything you've put makes sense and I don't think there are any absolutely glaring errors.

What you need is more detail and more scientific terminology! Pack it full of information, it should read like a textbook. At the moment it's maybe around 8 marks for science? Though I'd get a second opinion. As you are writing think, Is this A2-level or could I have written this at GCSE? If you could have written it at GCSE you'll gain no credit for it. To gain the highest marks (12-16 for science) try and go beyond the specification maybe memorise the names of the bacteria or molecules in the Krebs cycle (but only do this if you can still be relevant and detailed). It's an okay length but I think it needs to be slightly longer (this should happen anyway as you start to include more detail) Aim for 800 words minimum.

June 2011 essay.docx,
I hope that helped! :smile:


Aw thank you soo much!! That's been really helpful, I never really knew how much detail to go into because I tend to waffle a bit lol But I think i'm just gonna start going into as much detail as possible , as long as its relevant. Thanks again! Will rep you when I have some again :smile:
Reply 4
Original post by Minnie me
Hi Melissa
Just thought I'd let you know that there is a aqa biol5 essay marking thread thanks to atomic man . Some essays have already been posted there, which have been marked by others.

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2363924&p=42952159#post42952159

Me. :biggrin:


Ah cool thankyou!!! :smile:
Original post by Melissa.S.
Aw thank you soo much!! That's been really helpful, I never really knew how much detail to go into because I tend to waffle a bit lol But I think i'm just gonna start going into as much detail as possible , as long as its relevant. Thanks again! Will rep you when I have some again :smile:


No problem! and thanks :smile:

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