Getting my confidence up for uni

When I'm around my friends, I'm really confident and outgoing, and everyone tells me how funny and great I am. However, it's weird, when I'm in a social situation where I don't know anybody, I can be really shy. I feel myself clamming up, and I come across as very quiet and introverted. It's like I have two completely different personalities. E.g on my school report, there would be one teacher describing me as "loud and bubbly" and another describing me as "quiet and shy"!! Weird huh? I don't purposefully try to adapt my personality in different situations, it just happens. Can anyone here relate to what I'm saying?
Anyway, I'm going to uni in October and I'm worried about making friends. I've been reading various threads in which people have said they haven't really made friends and I SO don't want to end up like that - I don't want to just have a load of aquaintances but no one that I actually spend time with. What can I do in Freshers' week to make myself more confident in such an unfamiliar situation? The thing is, once I've established a friendship with someone, I'm absolutely fine, and I'm definitely a sociable and friendly person. I just get nervous when I don't know anyone. Any advice is appreciated, thanks so much. xxx

Reply 1

cinder

10

I know how you feel, I used to, and to a certain extent, be like that. Theres some people I just can't feel comfortable with and when they're around I shy away from the situation.
At uni, nobody will know you, everyone is in the same position, just be yourself I guess. You have to go out there and mnake friends they're not just going to come to you.
Sorry, I'm just pointing out the obvious.
I got some advice from a first year student, she said, first day of uni bake cookies and you'll make friends.

Reply 2

bedbug

14

I'm a bit like you, but what I tend to find is that if someone I meet reminds me of someone I know, I find it a lot easier to talk to them. Maybe if you just pretend like you've known everyone a while then it'll be easier and you'll be more relaxed and more yourself around them.

Reply 3

suga_fly_77

6

Lol squirly, I always have such an urge to poke that little man in your pic!

Reply 4

Dalimyr

17

Anonymous

When I'm around my friends, I'm really confident and outgoing, and everyone tells me how funny and great I am. However, it's weird, when I'm in a social situation where I don't know anybody, I can be really shy. I feel myself clamming up, and I come across as very quiet and introverted. It's like I have two completely different personalities. E.g on my school report, there would be one teacher describing me as "loud and bubbly" and another describing me as "quiet and shy"!! Weird huh? I don't purposefully try to adapt my personality in different situations, it just happens. Can anyone here relate to what I'm saying?

I'm exactly the same. It just happens to some of us...fresher's week will be perfectly fine - even if you're not all that outgoing yourself, you'll inevitably meet people who are and they'll get you talking (I speak from experience here :wink:

). Force yourself to go out - everyone is in the situation that they don't know anyone, so people WILL make an effort to make friends during this time, and even the most antisocial of us can find a group of people they can trust with anything.

Heh, my report cards tended to be a weird collection of seemingly random comments put down by each teacher - they all contradicted each other, and were quite amusing to read :biggrin:

Reply 5

Vetinari

8

I'm often like that, outside of my comfort zone put into a new situation it's all too easy to sit in the corner and be anti-social.

I'm starting uni at the end of this year too, and meeting new people freshers week is something i've of course thought about. I came up with a strategy though - there will be plenty of people who are very shy, and so if my confidence is shot and I become intimidated by all those people to whom socialising with people they don't know comes easily then I will just look out for those who also look like they are in my position - perhaps they're looking a bit lonely or something - and i'll just prey on them.

Once I have myself an accomplice things wont be so daunting, so we can both chat and help each other out and meet new people together. :biggrin:

Reply 6

bedbug

14

suga_fly_77

Lol squirly, I always have such an urge to poke that little man in your pic!

sexy isn't he :biggrin:

Getting my confidence up for uni

Related discussions

Articles for you