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I love him but
Ok im a guy hu loves a guy. thats wat im, its my orientation. Struggled enough to become str8, everytime i stressed myself out.. so now im ok withit.
Im not a girly guy neither im the usual gay type hu hooks up .. one night stands bla bla
im 19 .. im a student had an ex gf ..
my boyfriend is 29 (Hmmm... well..) Hes working and is decent, sweet and nice. Its 6 months now from the time we started going out. No 1 got forced. I didnt ask him neither did he. We met online and were chatting for long.. and ultimately.. fell in love..
The guy is great.. and so am i lol
We dont have sex.. he says im too young for that... lol.. i mean (anal).. we jus do the little bits as everyone does and we r totally fine with it. Sex is "not" the driving force. Whenever me meet most of the times wer in eachothers arms .. and thats jus so enough.. the fact that someone is there for u .. hu u can trust compltly..
(sorry - if str8 ppal r getting disgusted)
The problem is that i started off this relationship.. with a lie. And im feelign guilty.. I know that our relationship will not workout for the whole life. We really suit eachother .. and we have decided when its time to get married with a girl we'l forget all this but we'l stay in touch and be friends.
The lie i made is making me feeel sooo guilty that.. i feel like.. breakign up. I cant tell the lie i made. Its bout myself.. which slowly he can figure out that wat i said was a lie... He might be in doubt but hes not sure.. this is affecting our friendship
Plz dotn tell me to go talk to him. Cuz i cant and it will lead to a breakup i know..
what should i do?
Im not a girly guy neither im the usual gay type hu hooks up .. one night stands bla bla
im 19 .. im a student had an ex gf ..
my boyfriend is 29 (Hmmm... well..) Hes working and is decent, sweet and nice. Its 6 months now from the time we started going out. No 1 got forced. I didnt ask him neither did he. We met online and were chatting for long.. and ultimately.. fell in love..
The guy is great.. and so am i lol
We dont have sex.. he says im too young for that... lol.. i mean (anal).. we jus do the little bits as everyone does and we r totally fine with it. Sex is "not" the driving force. Whenever me meet most of the times wer in eachothers arms .. and thats jus so enough.. the fact that someone is there for u .. hu u can trust compltly..
(sorry - if str8 ppal r getting disgusted)
The problem is that i started off this relationship.. with a lie. And im feelign guilty.. I know that our relationship will not workout for the whole life. We really suit eachother .. and we have decided when its time to get married with a girl we'l forget all this but we'l stay in touch and be friends.
The lie i made is making me feeel sooo guilty that.. i feel like.. breakign up. I cant tell the lie i made. Its bout myself.. which slowly he can figure out that wat i said was a lie... He might be in doubt but hes not sure.. this is affecting our friendship
Plz dotn tell me to go talk to him. Cuz i cant and it will lead to a breakup i know..
what should i do?
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Firstly, please don't be ashamed of being gay. You don't need to apologise to straight people. Secondly, why is there a "time to get married with a girl"??? If you're gay, you won't be happy doing that. It would also be unfair on the girl.
You're anonymous on an internet forum. I think it would help us advise you a lot more if you tell us what the secret is, and we don't know who you are, so you wouldn't need to worry about it.
xx
You're anonymous on an internet forum. I think it would help us advise you a lot more if you tell us what the secret is, and we don't know who you are, so you wouldn't need to worry about it.
xx
This was a waste of my time. How do you expect help if you don't tell us what the nature of the problem is. Of course we're going to say just tell him because its not cool to lie to your love.
Im sorry about my post, now that i read it I feel like I was drunk. Yeah at that time I was a little it down. Sorry about the grammer.
Well Its different for us than u guys. Im not a white and neither an asian. Im an arab. And we are not free as you people are. We are not given freedom. Here If i m seen kissing a guy in public, I will be chopped. the punishment for showing -g- behaviour is lettign the guy fall down from a very tall building. If he survives its his luck. Is it sickening for u guys?
About marrying a girl, yes there are so many gays who are forced to marry and bring up a family. Im a bi and not a 100% gay so it wont be unfair for the girl. I had a very good relationship with my ex gf. She moved to U.S, i still kept the long distance relationship but it didnt workout. Just think of yourself in my position, Its not like the western world here.
The lie, I dont know whether i should be typing it up here. Its difficult to understand. Among the arab countries there is a country which is disliked "totally" in the place i live. Im from that country and where i live now that country is not respected. I can never get any thing done if the people here come to know that im from this "x" country. I know you all will find it difficult to understand as its hard for me to express myself freely and english is not my first language. I know if he loves me it shoudnt matter for him right? It wont, I know nothign would change but i would just sooo embaraassed and he woudlnt trust me at all because i lied at the starting. Now I think he has a little idea about it but is 80% in doubt. He didnt show me any sign or change in behaviour. It didnt matter to him but if i jus go tell him str8 on the face it might affect our relationship in long term.
This is difficult to understand but if u live in a place where ur nationality is ruined then u tend not to affliate with it.
Im sorry to the people who wasted my their time reading my post.
and im not ashamed of being a gay. I did try all my teenage years to become straight. I really stressed myself out. We do get sex education but wer very shy talking bout gay matters or n e thing other than jus a little bit of sex education. Its my orientation and thats how i feel relaxed. I dont go out telling everyone im a gay. Its just limited to this guy.
Well Its different for us than u guys. Im not a white and neither an asian. Im an arab. And we are not free as you people are. We are not given freedom. Here If i m seen kissing a guy in public, I will be chopped. the punishment for showing -g- behaviour is lettign the guy fall down from a very tall building. If he survives its his luck. Is it sickening for u guys?
About marrying a girl, yes there are so many gays who are forced to marry and bring up a family. Im a bi and not a 100% gay so it wont be unfair for the girl. I had a very good relationship with my ex gf. She moved to U.S, i still kept the long distance relationship but it didnt workout. Just think of yourself in my position, Its not like the western world here.
The lie, I dont know whether i should be typing it up here. Its difficult to understand. Among the arab countries there is a country which is disliked "totally" in the place i live. Im from that country and where i live now that country is not respected. I can never get any thing done if the people here come to know that im from this "x" country. I know you all will find it difficult to understand as its hard for me to express myself freely and english is not my first language. I know if he loves me it shoudnt matter for him right? It wont, I know nothign would change but i would just sooo embaraassed and he woudlnt trust me at all because i lied at the starting. Now I think he has a little idea about it but is 80% in doubt. He didnt show me any sign or change in behaviour. It didnt matter to him but if i jus go tell him str8 on the face it might affect our relationship in long term.
This is difficult to understand but if u live in a place where ur nationality is ruined then u tend not to affliate with it.
Im sorry to the people who wasted my their time reading my post.
and im not ashamed of being a gay. I did try all my teenage years to become straight. I really stressed myself out. We do get sex education but wer very shy talking bout gay matters or n e thing other than jus a little bit of sex education. Its my orientation and thats how i feel relaxed. I dont go out telling everyone im a gay. Its just limited to this guy.
Anonymous
Im sorry about my post, now that i read it I feel like I was drunk. Yeah at that time I was a little it down. Sorry about the grammer.
Well Its different for us than u guys. Im not a white and neither an asian. Im an arab. And we are not free as you people are. We are not given freedom. Here If i m seen kissing a guy in public, I will be chopped. the punishment for showing -g- behaviour is lettign the guy fall down from a very tall building. If he survives its his luck. Is it sickening for u guys?
About marrying a girl, yes there are so many gays who are forced to marry and bring up a family. Im a bi and not a 100% gay so it wont be unfair for the girl. I had a very good relationship with my ex gf. She moved to U.S, i still kept the long distance relationship but it didnt workout. Just think of yourself in my position, Its not like the western world here.
The lie, I dont know whether i should be typing it up here. Its difficult to understand. Among the arab countries there is a country which is disliked "totally" in the place i live. Im from that country and where i live now that country is not respected. I can never get any thing done if the people here come to know that im from this "x" country. I know you all will find it difficult to understand as its hard for me to express myself freely and english is not my first language. I know if he loves me it shoudnt matter for him right? It wont, I know nothign would change but i would just sooo embaraassed and he woudlnt trust me at all because i lied at the starting. Now I think he has a little idea about it but is 80% in doubt. He didnt show me any sign or change in behaviour. It didnt matter to him but if i jus go tell him str8 on the face it might affect our relationship in long term.
This is difficult to understand but if u live in a place where ur nationality is ruined then u tend not to affliate with it.
Im sorry to the people who wasted my their time reading my post.
and im not ashamed of being a gay. I did try all my teenage years to become straight. I really stressed myself out. We do get sex education but wer very shy talking bout gay matters or n e thing other than jus a little bit of sex education. Its my orientation and thats how i feel relaxed. I dont go out telling everyone im a gay. Its just limited to this guy.
Well Its different for us than u guys. Im not a white and neither an asian. Im an arab. And we are not free as you people are. We are not given freedom. Here If i m seen kissing a guy in public, I will be chopped. the punishment for showing -g- behaviour is lettign the guy fall down from a very tall building. If he survives its his luck. Is it sickening for u guys?
About marrying a girl, yes there are so many gays who are forced to marry and bring up a family. Im a bi and not a 100% gay so it wont be unfair for the girl. I had a very good relationship with my ex gf. She moved to U.S, i still kept the long distance relationship but it didnt workout. Just think of yourself in my position, Its not like the western world here.
The lie, I dont know whether i should be typing it up here. Its difficult to understand. Among the arab countries there is a country which is disliked "totally" in the place i live. Im from that country and where i live now that country is not respected. I can never get any thing done if the people here come to know that im from this "x" country. I know you all will find it difficult to understand as its hard for me to express myself freely and english is not my first language. I know if he loves me it shoudnt matter for him right? It wont, I know nothign would change but i would just sooo embaraassed and he woudlnt trust me at all because i lied at the starting. Now I think he has a little idea about it but is 80% in doubt. He didnt show me any sign or change in behaviour. It didnt matter to him but if i jus go tell him str8 on the face it might affect our relationship in long term.
This is difficult to understand but if u live in a place where ur nationality is ruined then u tend not to affliate with it.
Im sorry to the people who wasted my their time reading my post.
and im not ashamed of being a gay. I did try all my teenage years to become straight. I really stressed myself out. We do get sex education but wer very shy talking bout gay matters or n e thing other than jus a little bit of sex education. Its my orientation and thats how i feel relaxed. I dont go out telling everyone im a gay. Its just limited to this guy.
Your situation is really difficult. You're a Muslim and you're gay. Outch. I understand you but I don't understand your need to lie about your nationality.
You wrote :
Whenever me meet most of the times wer in eachothers arms .. and thats jus so enough.. the fact that someone is there for u .. hu u can trust compltly..
If you felt so comfortable with him, why didn't you just tell him? It may seem like a big deal (I may not understand the real nature of this issue) but really, what does anationality matter? If you live in Iraq and you're kurdi, I don't think he will hate you for that. And even if he will, is he the kind of person you'd like to give so much love then? And since he lives in the same country, I think he can sympathize with you and understand your motives.
Just tell him.
Simulatio
What should you do? Try to speak in English next time. No offence, I gave up half way though.
your not the only one! I want to help, but I gave up reading it...or trying too
Im feeling a bit lighter now. So I’l type some more, maybe tell you all my history. I was a very sharp and a bold kid till I was 10 years old. I don’t recall exactly how but I was abused when I was that young. The guy used to give me chocolates and he used to threaten me if I said a word to anyone. I didn’t know anything about what he was doing. When I turned 12, and learnt bout it. I stopped going to him. By now I was totally depressed because I was spanked, hit and scolded everytime I refused. I remember blood used to just flow down my – whenever I was abused. I used to cry and beg him to stop it. He used to hold me soo tight that my arms wouldn’t function for few days. I had cramps all over. He manipulated me so well that I was very scared of telling this to my parents.
When I grew up I used to find myself sitting in the corner of the class, not talking to anyone. I was still very sharp at my books and that was the only thing which gave me confidence. All those years I thought I was abnormal and no one was like the way I was. I remember when I turned 16, and while I was in the gym a guy noticed me working out alone. I had no partner. If my friends wanted to join me I used to refuse to them. He approached me, he was 23 then. We became friends and I found that he had gone through the same. I became very close to him and he was my bestfriend now. He taught me so many things and made me think bout how I should improve myself and get on to the straight path. Because here we are very scared about been looked up as a gay. Anyone can complain about us. So we both decided to try our best to get on to the right path at that time. I tried and tried and tried and tried till I reach the limit of my stress. I told him that I cant do it. We used to talk a lot about what happened the whole day around and used to advise eachother. Well by now I was 17 and he was 24, he finished his bachelors and wanted to go abroad for further studies. I was left alone again. It was hard for me to stay alone now cuz I didn’t have a good circle of friends. If any one wanted to approach me I would backup.. I was scared of guys I was scared that what if this person turns out to be the man in my past.
Then, there was this girl hu liked me. We used to do all math modules together. We were getting close and she asked me out. I didn’t refuse because I wanted to test myself and I promised that I woudnt let this go too far so the girl doesn’t get hurt. But I went greaaaaat. I forgot about my past, I forgot about those gay feelings. I become much more confident and a person I always wanted to be. Never had sex with her cuz I thought it wasn’t the right time. We weren’t prepared. I wanted her to be virgin because the girls hu r not virgins are not respected here. Again its not like ur western culture. Its different here.
Our relationship went on for a year and a half. I was 18+ by then. I gave her the best time of her life and even though we apart now she still keeps a contact with me. I know she was in deep love with me. And I was too.
Then ofcourse I told u guys b4 as well that she moved to U.S. We wanted to keep the long distance relationship but it didn’t workout. Our timing was different. While I was in college she was sleeping and by the time shes up I woud be sleeping. So we had to breakup. By now I had changed completely. Maybe undergone complete metamorphosis. I worked on who I was and I felt great bout my body, my health, my personality. But deep down I was a little lonely. Then I met this guy. He used to bug me at first (my bf now) and I used to get irritated. I met him online. But as I talked to him I found him like an angel. SO different from other guys. U know we all think of a perfect partner? Mayb he was too close to that. All what I used to dream off. But ofcourse I didn’t want to fall in love with him. He was a “man” again and i was scared. But his personality was soo charming that he made me love him. He was so sweet that I kind of just fell for him. Now im 19 and have him in my life and im VERY happy. And I don’t want to lose him..
He finds me the way I find him too.
And lol now I have alevel exams. They are starting on 15th and im freaking out. But well preparation is good.
Takecare all
-feeling very light now thanks ppal
When I grew up I used to find myself sitting in the corner of the class, not talking to anyone. I was still very sharp at my books and that was the only thing which gave me confidence. All those years I thought I was abnormal and no one was like the way I was. I remember when I turned 16, and while I was in the gym a guy noticed me working out alone. I had no partner. If my friends wanted to join me I used to refuse to them. He approached me, he was 23 then. We became friends and I found that he had gone through the same. I became very close to him and he was my bestfriend now. He taught me so many things and made me think bout how I should improve myself and get on to the straight path. Because here we are very scared about been looked up as a gay. Anyone can complain about us. So we both decided to try our best to get on to the right path at that time. I tried and tried and tried and tried till I reach the limit of my stress. I told him that I cant do it. We used to talk a lot about what happened the whole day around and used to advise eachother. Well by now I was 17 and he was 24, he finished his bachelors and wanted to go abroad for further studies. I was left alone again. It was hard for me to stay alone now cuz I didn’t have a good circle of friends. If any one wanted to approach me I would backup.. I was scared of guys I was scared that what if this person turns out to be the man in my past.
Then, there was this girl hu liked me. We used to do all math modules together. We were getting close and she asked me out. I didn’t refuse because I wanted to test myself and I promised that I woudnt let this go too far so the girl doesn’t get hurt. But I went greaaaaat. I forgot about my past, I forgot about those gay feelings. I become much more confident and a person I always wanted to be. Never had sex with her cuz I thought it wasn’t the right time. We weren’t prepared. I wanted her to be virgin because the girls hu r not virgins are not respected here. Again its not like ur western culture. Its different here.
Our relationship went on for a year and a half. I was 18+ by then. I gave her the best time of her life and even though we apart now she still keeps a contact with me. I know she was in deep love with me. And I was too.
Then ofcourse I told u guys b4 as well that she moved to U.S. We wanted to keep the long distance relationship but it didn’t workout. Our timing was different. While I was in college she was sleeping and by the time shes up I woud be sleeping. So we had to breakup. By now I had changed completely. Maybe undergone complete metamorphosis. I worked on who I was and I felt great bout my body, my health, my personality. But deep down I was a little lonely. Then I met this guy. He used to bug me at first (my bf now) and I used to get irritated. I met him online. But as I talked to him I found him like an angel. SO different from other guys. U know we all think of a perfect partner? Mayb he was too close to that. All what I used to dream off. But ofcourse I didn’t want to fall in love with him. He was a “man” again and i was scared. But his personality was soo charming that he made me love him. He was so sweet that I kind of just fell for him. Now im 19 and have him in my life and im VERY happy. And I don’t want to lose him..
He finds me the way I find him too.
And lol now I have alevel exams. They are starting on 15th and im freaking out. But well preparation is good.
Takecare all
-feeling very light now thanks ppal
I think you are a truly nice person with great sensitivity to others, and I really hope this works out for you. I can't begin to understand how difficult it is to be gay and Muslim, but I can guess. You're obviously very sure of who you are, which is great, and your boyfriend sounds great as well, but I really think you should just tell him the truth about your nationality. Would it really make him hate you, just because of what country you were born in? Everyone is different, and just because you're from a certain country doesn't make you a certain kind of person - you're still you, and he should respect that. Maybe when you tell him your real nationality, it would help you to explain why you were worried about telling him before - I'm sure he'd understand then.
Good luck with everything, A-levels and all
x
Good luck with everything, A-levels and all
x
Hel
(For some reason I'm having visions of an Islamic Brokeback Mountain...)
(For some reason I'm having visions of an Islamic Brokeback Mountain...)
Me too!!
u "defend" ur right to be gay when no1 threatens it. You do not need to apolagise to straight guys or explain urself to them, i suspect u r still trying to convince urself. sorry its jus the impression u gave by being a bit over defensive about ur sexuality. with regards to ur experiences as a child i doubt ne1 on tsr has the capacity to deal with that. but one thing i can say is letting ur nationality get in the way of what seems to be the one saviour in ur life is very silly - dont do it. If u dont agree with ur religion screw it, simple as that. i think uve had a hard enough time without prejudiced people dictating what u do. remember u cant be everything, good muslim, arab, gay etc if uve found some1 that ur really happy with thats a lot more than most people, dont let it go, and good luck to you
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