Liking someone and then not liking them as much?

Okay this is reeally bugging me, I'm not really sure what the problem is, it's kind of confusing. Basically, this is what happens....I like a guy, and then they ask me out, we have a good time, and they start opening up to me, saying how happy they are to be with me etc.. Then I start thinking "hmm..." and start questioning whether I like them. Omg. This is driving me crazy right now because I've just started going out with a guy, and I couldn't ask for more in a guy as we really click.
I also reeally hate it when guys are romantic because I'm soo the opposite. I always thought I would like it when guys do really sweet stuff for you, but I just have a really low tolerance to that sorta stuff all together. Also I find that the guy ends up liking me a lot more and being more of a giver than I am.. AHH..what can I do :eek:

I hate feeling this way because when I broke up with my last bf he was really crushed as he liked me a lot while I just lost interest after a while. It sounds really cruel I know but I just dont understand myself sometimes!! Anyone have any advice......?

Reply 1

anjurdsg

11

it's perfectly normal... its usually a fault in a guy ... from your post, i'm guessing that you're physically very attractive? us guys have a knack of "opening up" to a girl too soon ... then she loses interest... come to think of it, its happened to me before

and yes, being too romantic is a problem too

you just have to wait, until you find a rare, exceptional guy... and then YOU will be hanging off him :p:

i know it buggers... but not all guys are compatible with every female ... and the same the other way around

Reply 2

maski

Wow, the exact same thing happened to me a couple of month ago. my theory is that as girls we simply get flattered by a guy liking us. then we make up this picture of what we imagine it to be like. same thing happened to me, i suddenly realized wut the guy was really like and it wasnt what i had thought. i just thought its not working out. my advice is just to brake up with him. being with him just became a drag for me and thats really not good. good luck, and ur not alone.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

This has been bugging me aswell and it has happened with three previous boy friends. I am currently with someone who is absolutly perfect we have great fun seeing each other and i couldnt ask for any one better BUT recently hes started talking about the future and opened up and i actually cant take it. I have thought about perhaps breaking up and i have a comforting thought in my head knowing at the moment we have exams now so will see eahc other less. Maybe im scared of commitment or something. i hate this feeling and so i have told myself to stick with this guy and maybe its something i have to overcome and when i maybe feel happier in relationship down the line i can feel the same way and open up as much as him. This is what i hope anyway.

Reply 4

anjimcflanji

1

It could be that you're not ready for something like that or that you're scared of being hurt? be rejecting the boy he can't reject you......
Either that or you just need to find the right guy and we all know how hard that is! the phrase men are liking parking spaces..all the best ones are taken....springs to mind!! Good luck hun I'm sure you'll find him one day and you just won't stop thinking about him!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Thaanks for replies! I'm so glad to hear that ppl understand this cos I really thought I was just a weirdo.. :confused:

Especially since I actually did like him even before he asked me out :s-smilie:

I know it's not because I'm scared of being hurt, I'm really closed i.e. I hate sharing really personal thoughts and it takes me a while to really really like somone, so basically I 'shield' myself..as paranoid as that sounds.. Another thing I kinda get the feeling that the guys I go out with get some kind of ego boost from being with me, I know that sounds really pompous but it really feels like that and I dunno if I actually like it. I feel guilty because he said he's shy with girls (which really surprised me), and the fact that he opened up to me and I'm freaking out a bit...I don't want to crush him or nething :|
I think ur right maski about being flattered when a guy likes you, and then you make up this mental image of everything being so perfect, that you try and make yourself believe it.. But anyway having said all that, I think I'm going to see how it goes...maybe I'm just a bit confused and thinking too much...I'll see how I feel in a week or so I think..

Reply 6

1013

1

I get the exact same thing! It's not to do with who is more attractive than who. I just find it off-putting if a guy is too eager. There's a million and one phrases out there which boil down to the same thing "want what you can't have" "treat 'em mean to keep to keep em keen" "keep them on their toes" etc etc. I think it is just human nature - a lot of people like the chase!

Reply 7

maski

I'm actually kinda glad myself theres people like me out there, hehe. since it didn't work out for me i keep thinking that it might just mean that thats a gut feeling telling you its not right. then again what if it is just something like being scared of comitment or opening up? I know it takes a lot of trust to open up to other people. I waited a while too, but it didnt get any better so i eventually ended it. he did get hurt but any reasonable person would understand your feelings. dont worry about it. if it helps i had to constantly tell myself that a relationship involves two people, meaning your one half and so your feelings matter. if ur unhappy than you shouldnt have to suffer.

Reply 8

Love Sheep

1

I get the exact same thing, except I'm terrified of hurting people (ie: dumping them) so I just don't go out with guys. Or not until I'm REALLY sure. That's probably rubbish advice, maybe it's better to live and learn!
You're definitely not alone, and I was relieved to see that I'm not!

Liking someone and then not liking them as much?

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