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at one point I did fancy my best guy friend...and we did sorta get together for while. But then things changed and I realized that I loved him not as a boyfriend but more as a brother so we kinda mutually let it fall apart. He's still my best guy friend though.
No, being attracted to your best guy/girl friend is not necessarily illusory. If it works, then you have a best friend AND a boyfriend/girlfriend. If not, then he/she'll remain best friends. :smile:
Reply 2
I see what your saying. But isnt it scary because feeligns might get hurt and that would ruin the relationship. eugh. i think im just looking way too hard now. :frown:
Reply 3
:hugs:
keenya2006
I see what your saying. But isnt it scary because feeligns might get hurt and that would ruin the relationship. eugh. i think im just looking way too hard now. :frown:

it is scary...and that's why I always want to end a relationship if it's a mutual agreement. like my relationship with my ex boyfriend ended on his terms, and I'm still not completely over him, see? lol don't worry, I'm a worrier and a think-too-much person too. It did scare me, the thought of things changing between my best guy friend and myself, but I just played it cool and didn't change my behaviour towards him. Things settled again. :smile:
Reply 5
I fell in love with my best friend.. and we're still together nearly a year later. It's really really great. But I do always have the worry in my mind that if we broke up.. I would be loosing both a boyfriend and my best friend. And that's a scary thought. But I try not to think about it and focus on the present.

I can what you're saying about that fuzzy line when it comes to love, and it's a difficult one to figure out. I guess you could say that in times of loneliness you might start to feel that way about a best friend because they are always there for you. But when it comes to actually being together, I guess it what's right for you and the other person involved.
Reply 6
Hmm this is an interesting one, I'm like you Keenya - I never know whether it's fancying or just really good friends. I thought it was more with my best guy mate a while ago and realised a little too late that it was all strictly platonic, which messed things up a bit between us. Basically, when we kissed I realised that it just wasn't right and that he was definitely just a friend. However he thought it felt right.. not good.

My advice to you would be REALLY work out whether you do like him that way before you bring the subject up at allllllll, otherwise you're just messing with his head.
Me and my best guy friend are in a weird limbo-like stage in our relationship. We've been friends for 2 years, and "getting together" for one year of that. It's not a "friends with benefits" situation, because it's nowhere near convenient for either of us, as he's been at uni 300 miles away most of that year.
When we're alone together, it's not awkward at all, but we still never really talk about what's happening. At all. When we're in a group, we're less affectionate with each other than we were beforehand, which was all hand-holding and cuddling. But we'd still tell each other anything.

Our situation works for us, but I'm almost certain it won't work for many others. We completely hit it off when we first met, and knowing us two, it took an extraordinarily drunken night for us to actually act on anything, a year later.

If your feelings towards your best friend are changing, it's more than likely reality rather than illusion. Yes, he's always there for you. Yes, he knows you better than you know yourself. Yes, he knows exactly how to make you laugh.
It's a boyfriend without the kisses. You just have to decide if you want those kisses.
Anonymous

If your feelings towards your best friend are changing, it's more than likely reality rather than illusion. Yes, he's always there for you. Yes, he knows you better than you know yourself. Yes, he knows exactly how to make you laugh.
It's a boyfriend without the kisses. You just have to decide if you want those kisses.


Very well said.
I recently got together with my best friend, took a drunken night for either of us to act on our feelings though, neither of us wanted to mess it up. However Im so glad we have got together! Think about how you feel, do you want those kisses (as another anonomous user put it) or not, if so, speak to him. And good luck :smile:
My best guy friend recently told me he had liked me for a long time and that he despised my boyfreind. My first reaction was to freak out and demand he took it back, I felt betrayed because I had been confiding in him and I felt like all along he'd had some ulterior motive. We decided we couldnt be freinds any longer, but after a while of not talking to him I realised what he meant to me and that I didnt want to lose him as my best friend, so we made up and went back to the way things were, as if nothing had happened. I don't know how this will work out, it mite explode in my face in the future if he doesnt get over it and is still harbouring feelings, but I want him in my life.
SkinnyJeans
I fell in love with my best friend.. and we're still together nearly a year later. It's really really great. But I do always have the worry in my mind that if we broke up.. I would be loosing both a boyfriend and my best friend. And that's a scary thought. But I try not to think about it and focus on the present.

I can what you're saying about that fuzzy line when it comes to love, and it's a difficult one to figure out. I guess you could say that in times of loneliness you might start to feel that way about a best friend because they are always there for you. But when it comes to actually being together, I guess it what's right for you and the other person involved.

that's why I tried so hard to end my relationship with my boyfriend on good terms...but he didn't see it that way. I'd be REALLY REALLY upset if I lost my best guy friend as a boyfriend. But then again, I can't ever see myself going out with my best guy buddy...though one friend commented that if he hadn't known I had a boyfriend (at the time), he'd think I was dating my best guy buddy.
I've fallen for my best guy friend during the past couple of weeks.... I've known him 12 years and after lots of late nights together staying up and talking and being close, I've been feeling so attracted to him and don't have a clue what to do :frown:
Reply 13
well i dont know, but from my opinion, having a relationship with the guy that is your best friend can either be the best thing ever, or it can lead to toal disaster.
i have seen one of my friends that are girls, go out with their best mate that is a guy and it has ended horrendously and she has seen a completely different side to him
i am now with my gf who was my best friend that is a girl and we are amazing together. so its a gamble. but so is everything else
I once fell in love with my best friend and yes we did get together and it worked. But then we grew up, drifted apart and eventually broke up. Losing a boyfriend hurts but it is true about there being plenty more out there..bestfriends who are very special are another matter. It is taking me a very long time to get over losing a best friend..
I have a friend that is now going out with her best guy friend, and they get on so well, but all of us, their other friends, are terrified in case they break up. And at 16, well, it's more than likely. But at the moment they are really happy, and she says they are just not thinking of what could happen.

My own experiences... well my best guy friend is one I was in love with (unrequitedly) for about six months. Our friendship came about at the beginning of this year when I lied and said I no longer had feelings for him. Probably not the best thing to do, but I couldn't bare the awkwardness between us.
Anyway, I am over him now, fancied plenty people since him and all that, and love our friendship. All our friends are convinced there is something more between us (and kindly point this out constantly..) and sometimes I wonder if I'd still like it too. But I was thinking about the point made above... I'm sure I do not want those kisses!
Reply 16
OK, if you'll let me tell a (short) story, it's kinda related, so bear with me.
Basically, I'm a guy, and my best friend is a girl who I've known about ten months. I met her at a job I started last August, and we hit it off pretty much straight away. I found her very good-looking, so it was almost inevitable that I'd end up fancying her.
She had a boyfriend at the time, and we went from being acquaintances to good friends fairly quickly. They broke up just before Christmas, but then she and her best friend at school got together (we go to different schools). Obviously this was pretty crushing for me, but I was happy for her since he was such a nice guy. They had a great relationship (and I thought they were a brilliant couple, despite my jealousy) until they broke up about a month ago. The end result of that relationship is that she lost a boyfriend and a very good friend.
Now, at this point I still felt very strongly for her, but I was starting to think that it might not be love in a wanting-to-go-out-with-her way, but more love in a friendship sense (I apologise if this is a bit soppy). I came to realise that although I think what I'm feeling is love, and I still find her very attractive, I wouldn't want us to go out in case we broke up, then losing a fantastic friendship. We talked about it and basically decided our relationship was a lot like boyfriend/girlfriend already, only without all the problems that come with it, and the kisses. I won't deny that I would still like the kisses sometimes, but for me, now, it doesn't seem worth the risk.
If you get on with your best guy friend more than your boyfriend, in that you find it easier to talk to the friend and he makes you laugh more, is that a sign telling you that you should be with the friend rather than the boyf. I don't know what to do?
I've fallen for my best guy mate :frown:
complicated though, I fancied him for years when he was with his ex, then he fancied me when I was with my ex, we both split with our partners recently and have been getting really close and wanted to go out with each other. But now his ex is back on the scene and he wants her back, guess I missed my chance
Reply 19
Oh damn. Half of these are like success stories the other half is some sad soap opera :frown: I guess I should wait and see how I feel because I tend to act on emotion an right now Im just a lonely person...so I dont want to use him for that...but gosh..he just knows me so well!!! aghhh.