The Student Room Group

Is it stupid to fancy an "alpha male" type?

I've got a thing for a guy I'm acquainted at university, but though I don't know him very well he doesn't seem like the kind of guy I usually fall for, who's someone really nice and sweet and gentle. I quite fancy him, but he's not here next year so I need to figure out quickly whether to go for it or not as I'm only seeing him a couple of times again.

I used to be really nice myself, but over the last year at uni, due to problems with some people I thought were my friends I've become a stronger person and I feel like it's affected the kind of guys I go for. I'd never have fancied a guy like this before. I find him really physically attractive, but personality wise, though he's the kind of person who gets good grades and is very sociable and popular, and can be quite nice and has an interesting personality, he's also pretty mean sometimes (mostly to his guy mates) and I'm not sure if he's a decent person inside or not. A few mutual female friends also say he is a douche and hard to understand.

I've spoken to him a bit and he seems to respect me as we share some hobbies which I'm very good at - sometimes he's very charming too - but he can also be a bit cold and dismissive, or just seem like he's in a bad mood and not want to say hi. He'll stare at me for ages, and then when I look back at him he'll glance away quickly, or not smile back when I smile at him.

Am I jumping on a slippery slope here? Should I just forget about him or try to be friends at most?
It depends whether you'd be okay with being around that type of guy. Whether you think you could get on with him on a personal scale. There's no harm in trying because, as you say, he's not there next year, so if you don't act now you might never see him again.
Reply 2
Original post by carrotstar
It depends whether you'd be okay with being around that type of guy. Whether you think you could get on with him on a personal scale. There's no harm in trying because, as you say, he's not there next year, so if you don't act now you might never see him again.


We do really get on sometimes as we have a lot of interests in common, I'm just not sure if he's the type of guy to stick around or not though :/
What is alpha male about this guy?

You have said he gets good grades, is sociable, popular, can be quite nice, interesting personality, pretty mean to his mates, can be charming or can be cold and dismissive or be in a bad mood and not want to say hi.

These are not really what people mean when they say alpha male. Alpha male is more a guy that's direct, confident, decisive a leader amongst his peers who naturally follow him, successful in some or multiple ways.

What you have described sounds more like a guy that is moody. You get people like that who are fine a lot of the time but then go in their moods and will treat people totally differently. They get on your nerves after a while. They can be selfish too, its all about them, when they decide to be in a bad mood everybody has to come pandering to them. When I was at uni I lived with a guy one year who was like that, when he decided it was time to have a bad mood it just killed the whole atmosphere in the house. I can't be doing with people like that.
Reply 4
Original post by MagicNMedicine
What is alpha male about this guy?

You have said he gets good grades, is sociable, popular, can be quite nice, interesting personality, pretty mean to his mates, can be charming or can be cold and dismissive or be in a bad mood and not want to say hi.

These are not really what people mean when they say alpha male. Alpha male is more a guy that's direct, confident, decisive a leader amongst his peers who naturally follow him, successful in some or multiple ways.

What you have described sounds more like a guy that is moody. You get people like that who are fine a lot of the time but then go in their moods and will treat people totally differently. They get on your nerves after a while. They can be selfish too, its all about them, when they decide to be in a bad mood everybody has to come pandering to them. When I was at uni I lived with a guy one year who was like that, when he decided it was time to have a bad mood it just killed the whole atmosphere in the house. I can't be doing with people like that.


He is successful at a lot of things and I respect him because (unlike a lot of the guys I know at uni) he is actually hard-working and so on... He comes across as moody/snobbish a lot of the time, though, so not sure if I should chase this up or not :s-smilie:

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