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strong friendship feels like its deteriorating....
hey
I met a really close friend of mine at a volunteer scheme last summer, we were team-mates and really developed a nice strong friendship really quickly.
We were still close friends until recently, she was the first person to give me a bday present in 8 years, which made me appreciate her all the more. We didn;t use to meet up too often, about once a month, for lunch or iceskating or whatever.
but around february matters concerning me and another girl kinda got dragged into our friendship, and since then ive had the feeling that she doesnt view me in the same way as before. Weve talked about it and shes said nothings changed everythings all gd etc
but certainly things have changed, like with regard to replying to texts, we used to reply fairly quickly to one another, within the hr, and we'd go on talking to one another for ages. but over the past month ive sent two texts, and she hasnt replied to either. in them i say "how are you... blalh blah blah hope exam revision is going well... blah, wanna do something sometime?"
id asking her if everythings ok betweeen us, but im worried shed get annoyed at me asking her that question again. but, shes a really sweet person who i know wouldnt ignore me for no reason, i know shes busy revisin (like most of us....!) but surely we could all spare the 5 or so mins to reply to a txt from a gd friend?
what should i do?
I met a really close friend of mine at a volunteer scheme last summer, we were team-mates and really developed a nice strong friendship really quickly.
We were still close friends until recently, she was the first person to give me a bday present in 8 years, which made me appreciate her all the more. We didn;t use to meet up too often, about once a month, for lunch or iceskating or whatever.
but around february matters concerning me and another girl kinda got dragged into our friendship, and since then ive had the feeling that she doesnt view me in the same way as before. Weve talked about it and shes said nothings changed everythings all gd etc
but certainly things have changed, like with regard to replying to texts, we used to reply fairly quickly to one another, within the hr, and we'd go on talking to one another for ages. but over the past month ive sent two texts, and she hasnt replied to either. in them i say "how are you... blalh blah blah hope exam revision is going well... blah, wanna do something sometime?"
id asking her if everythings ok betweeen us, but im worried shed get annoyed at me asking her that question again. but, shes a really sweet person who i know wouldnt ignore me for no reason, i know shes busy revisin (like most of us....!) but surely we could all spare the 5 or so mins to reply to a txt from a gd friend?
what should i do?
What were these issues with you and another girl? If you like this other girl or are going out with her or something and you told your friend, that would suggest that maybe she *liked* you, and when you started talking to her about this other girl, she realised you only saw her as a friend, and up to then had hoped for more than that, and now that she knows that friendship is as far as it can go, she's not as interested as before. I may be wrong, but that's just the impression I got from what you said.
Reply 2
Tariqé
OP
no, me and the other girl used to go out, and my friend was perfectly ok with that 
but when me and the other girl broke up, me and my ex went (and still are) through a really rough patch, and were upsetting each other alot, etc.
my friend has known my ex almost all her life, they went to this school where you start at 4 and finish at 14! so theyre really close, and im worried that shes sided with her (which is natural). but my friend says that she doesnt judge me on that, that what happend between me and my ex has nothing to do with our friendship. but if thats the case then i dont know why shes not talking to me.
btw, my friend has had a b4 4 2 years now!
but when me and the other girl broke up, me and my ex went (and still are) through a really rough patch, and were upsetting each other alot, etc.
my friend has known my ex almost all her life, they went to this school where you start at 4 and finish at 14! so theyre really close, and im worried that shes sided with her (which is natural). but my friend says that she doesnt judge me on that, that what happend between me and my ex has nothing to do with our friendship. but if thats the case then i dont know why shes not talking to me.
btw, my friend has had a b4 4 2 years now!
Reply 4
Tariqé
OP
lol! sorry! thanks for trying to help though, more than i can say for anyone else on this site so far!
Reply 5
uz_master
but certainly things have changed, like with regard to replying to texts, we used to reply fairly quickly to one another, within the hr, and we'd go on talking to one another for ages. but over the past month ive sent two texts, and she hasnt replied to either. in them i say "how are you... blalh blah blah hope exam revision is going well... blah, wanna do something sometime?"
but certainly things have changed, like with regard to replying to texts, we used to reply fairly quickly to one another, within the hr, and we'd go on talking to one another for ages. but over the past month ive sent two texts, and she hasnt replied to either. in them i say "how are you... blalh blah blah hope exam revision is going well... blah, wanna do something sometime?"
Are you sure its not that your friendship has gradually started to deteriorate on its own in the past couple years... Or you only noticed it now after Febuary?
It'd sound like a communication problem, you said yourself that you only sent two texts in the last month so its obvious that you'll start to grow distance although the friendship will always be there pretty much to reclick.
Another idea is maybe that you pretty much talked about everything there is to talk about and its not fallen to just asking how the other party is doing... and then it kinda stops there cause there isin't anything else to chat about.
Reply 6
Tariqé
OP
yea mayb your right there, we have kinda lost contact, but i do ask if we can meet up etc, she just hasnt replied to it. i dnt wanna say to her "why havent you replied?" but the longer it goes on the more i worry. i mean, if sum1 asks if you want to meet up, its courtesy to give an answer!
Reply 8
Tariqé
OP
perhaps! didnt think of that! but i think she's on contract so maybe not... but id do well to remember that possibilty in the future i guess! thanks! 
Reply 9
ara ara kinda the same here, but it got better after I gave her some space, sometimes it isn't just us, there's other stuff going on in other people's lives just because we're close to them doesn't mean we are the only influence in their lives + it's exam period now, it's not surprising, maybe she wants do concentrate on work
Reply 10
Tariqé
OP
yea, its jus that we havent seen each other in ages, and i really miss her company at the moment: im going through quite a lonely point in my life, and could really do with a friend like her at the moment.
don't get me wrong i am aware that she has more to her life than just me, and im not pressurising her to do anything, all that worries me is that she can't find a little bit of time to reply to a mates text.
don't get me wrong i am aware that she has more to her life than just me, and im not pressurising her to do anything, all that worries me is that she can't find a little bit of time to reply to a mates text.
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