In Love With The Wrong Person

I've fallen for an older woman, who is married.

We get on great as friends and she knows I like her (and seems flattered, to tell you the truth). But, in spite of her having problems with her husband, I know it's never going to become anything more. Aside from the legally-binded marriage part, she's a lot more mature than me.

I cannot stop thinking about her. I'm constantly telling myself 'It's a crush, you'll get over it', but it doesn't take it off my mind. I've even started dating other people, but I feel guilty towards them because I know I'm just going through the motions. How do I get over her?

Reply 1

lazydays

12

I'm in the same boat hun. I've fancied this guy at work since last summer, he goes to my 6th form too but is in the year above-Meaning he has now left to go to Uni and I won't see him again, despite being told he's a total prick I still fancy him like hell. I know nothing will ever happen, despite the looks and all that, I'm too shy for my own good! I think we will both get over our crushes given time, but yeah, I feel exactly like you xxxx

Reply 2

..anna..

1

lazydays

I'm in the same boat hun. I've fancied this guy at work since last summer, he goes to my 6th form too but is in the year above-Meaning he has now left to go to Uni and I won't see him again, despite being told he's a total prick I still fancy him like hell. I know nothing will ever happen, despite the looks and all that, I'm too shy for my own good! I think we will both get over our crushes given time, but yeah, I feel exactly like you xxxx

That is not really the same boat!!!!
Not quite sure what to suggest.. just think of her family and the children.. thats what i would do i think..
It will be hard, but you will get through it eventually..
xxx

Reply 3

jazznaz

1

I can't really offer much more advice other than to suck in it, hold you chin up and try to get through it.

I'm not sure that anyone can suggest a quick and easy way to get over someone, it's just a process that requires a fair amount of time, and perhaps a lot of determination on your part.

It may not help much to hear it now, but things will improve and you will get through it.

Reply 4

Chase Me

8

You're not 'in love with her'. You need to know a person before you can love them. The reason you can't get over it, well it's this lame old story about 'forbidden fruit' or something along those lines. You can't have it, so you want it more. Someone right for you will come along soon though, don't worry. :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Chase Me

You're not 'in love with her'. You need to know a person before you can love them. The reason you can't get over it, well it's this lame old story about 'forbidden fruit' or something along those lines.

I appreciate the sentiment, but just to clarify:

I DO know her - we have become friends gradually over a number of months, and she's even opened up to me about how she thinks she got married too fast. I know it's not the same as getting to know someone who you're in a relationship with and - you're right - perhaps I will look back on this one day and realise it wasn't a case of being 'in love'. I'm still young, after all! But I DO love her as a friend. I've even thought about distancing myself from her, but she's told me she needs me as a friend and I want to be loyal. I just wish my deeper feelings weren't getting in the way.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

I know exactly what you mean. I've known this man for about 3/4 years, and I never used to think I felt anything for him, until my friends started to draw attention to it and told me he liked me. I really doubt he does; because he's married with kids- whom I've even met. I know it's absolutely stupid.. but I suppose maybe I was more flattered than anything and I think I'm starting to like him.

The problem is, he is really quite a bit older than me, and nothing could happen anyway- even if he wasn't married. How much older is this woman than you?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

The problem is, he is really quite a bit older than me, and nothing could happen anyway- even if he wasn't married. How much older is this woman than you?

About a decade, which I guess is not a major issue.

On occasions (usually when we've had a few drinks together) she's hinted that wants something to happen between us. I reckon it's just momentarily, though. She's too good a person to put her marriage on the line, even if it isn't a deep and meaningful one.

You know how it feels, then. Makes you wish that you'd met that person before they were married, doesn't it? (Not that it would have made much difference, in my case - back then I wasn't even old enough to shave)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

If anyone else has been in a similar prediciment to this one, I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the matter!

In Love With The Wrong Person

Related discussions

Articles for you