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Terrible and presumably unique problem I have with girls

I have this problem with girls and it is really freaking me out. I've searched the internet and haven't really found anything similar, so I'm calling on anyone who can saying anything relevant/helpful.

It's pretty simple. I'm a guy in my early twenties and I only find girls with big boobs attractive. This problem coupled with a crippling inability to converse with girls like other normal men means I essentially have little hope in my love life. Never having a girlfriend or even any intimacy with a girl is a problem in itself, especially at my age. Then there is the other previously mentioned problem.

Lets imagine me and my friends are out somewhere, say a pub or on campus somewhere at uni. You see girls all the time, mutual friends, acquaintances etc. So my friends might comment on girls they think are attractive, I might say "yeah she was fit" or whatever. But in my mind I am thinking I wouldn't give her a second look because her chest isn't big enough. She isn't fit because she has average sized breasts. You can understand how this is a problem. Firstly it makes me sound like a pervert (maybe I am), and secondly it drastically reduces the amount of possible partners for me (from an already small group I'm sure).

I don't consciously try to only like girls who are well endowed, it's some kind of unconscious mechanism inside me. I would love to like girls of all shapes and sizes, but I can't. I'm not great at estimating cup size but from some research online I guess I would like anything from say DD or E cup upwards, I don't know what the max would be. What I can say is that I wouldn't like comedy sized breasts that you are probably imagining, there is an upper limit. Anything that would appear in Nuts or Zoo magazines is probably my cup of tea (I feel like some kind of sex pervert saying that).

What makes me upset and has actually brought me close to tears sometimes is that if I was offered the perfect girl who was intelligent, pretty and shared interests; I would have to check out the eyes on her body before the eyes on her face.

Who can you talk to about this? My friends would think I was odd, girls would consider me some kind of maniac pervert and I doubt a doctor could even identify a problem in medical terms. And I do think this is a medical/psychological problem. What am I supposed to do, forever stay alone because the chances of me finding the right girl are so slim? Then I would probably feel guilty because I would question my motives in liking her. Additionally I don't think this is something I am going to grow out of, I'm in my early twenties now.

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Reply 1
Sounds like you are in quite a unique situation, but I know guys who would only go for a girl with big breasts, but I don't know if they would go to extremes like being unable to love a girl who doesn't have them. I think you could possibly change though, you might meet a girl who is really your type but she doesn't have the large breasts you desire, but you might be able to overlook this because of how compatible you are (sharing interests etc). Do you have many friends that are girls?
You're unusually picky.

Not sure there's much you can do then other than hold out for a girl with mahoosive knockers. Otherwise, yeah, if it really IS causing you that much of a hindrance that you can't possibly date a girl with average breasts, you probably are more likely than not to end up alone.

Considered hypnotherapy?
You are just being overly dramatic, your problem is more related to the fact you aren't forming relationships in the first place. So many forever alone types seem to have all these criteria for a woman and yet never get off their arse and talk to any or form any proper relationships. You're being far to introspective, just get out and live your life, you'll meet someone eventually.
Reply 4
Original post by lufc_lewis
Do you have many friends that are girls?


Not many.

Original post by PinkMobilePhone


Not sure there's much you can do then other than hold out for a girl with mahoosive knockers.

Considered hypnotherapy?


This is what I will have to do I guess, and isn't hypnotherapy pseudoscience?
I reckon a lot of guys are like the OP. If you were in a real relationship with a girl with an average body your perspective would be different and you would see more of the persons personality rather than her assets:tongue:.

I assume nuts mag and the rest have also influenced on the way you think about what looks good I.e big breasts. But you also have to note that in the nuts mags its all glamour which is good to look at but it's all superficial.
Reply 6
Try making some friends that are girls and you might change.
Reply 7
Original post by King_Julien
I reckon a lot of guys are like the OP. If you were in a real relationship with a girl with an average body your perspective would be different and you would see more of the persons personality rather than her assets:tongue:.

I assume nuts mag and the rest have also influenced on the way you think about what looks good I.e big breasts. But you also have to note that in the nuts mags its all glamour which is good to look at but it's all superficial.


Yeah I do wonder if I have perhaps been very susceptible to images of women in the media. Maybe I have been conditioned to be this way?

Yeah I appreciate that it is 100% superficial in a magazine and in real life these women would not be suitable for me. I was just using it as an example for what kind of breast size would be preferable, I don't find these girls "attractive" in the sense that they are unlikely to have anything in common with me.

Your point about being in a relationship changing my perception of women is good. I just can't shake the initial habit of checking out her rack first and immediately forget anything else that would appeal to me.
Original post by Anonymous

This is what I will have to do I guess, and isn't hypnotherapy pseudoscience?


*shrugs* no idea mate, but you never know, it might help. I don't see that you have many options.
I kind of agree with what other posters seem to be hinting at. When you're deciding what you'd want in a girl purely based on looks and actively searching based on a really limited criteria you're probably setting yourself up for failure.

If you just get it out of your mind and just see it as some sort of obscure sexual preference as opposed to some sort of fundamental quality etc. it will probably help.

I think that in reality there's girls you interact with on a daily basis who you are probably attracted to, or have been previously attracted to, who don't have giant breasts.
Go for the fat ones.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I do wonder if I have perhaps been very susceptible to images of women in the media. Maybe I have been conditioned to be this way?

Yeah I appreciate that it is 100% superficial in a magazine and in real life these women would not be suitable for me. I was just using it as an example for what kind of breast size would be preferable, I don't find these girls "attractive" in the sense that they are unlikely to have anything in common with me.

Your point about being in a relationship changing my perception of women is good. I just can't shake the initial habit of checking out her rack first and immediately forget anything else that would appeal to me.


Just to put your mind at ease. Every guy thinks the same about a women's rack. But having said that, I think you should expand your criteria of what you would want in a women rather than breasts alone. :smile:
This might sound pedantic, but define 'big boobs'. Do you mean big boobs for her frame, or do they have to be boobs so big they'd even look big on a big woman? You see, you say you like a D cup and up, but I have tiny boobs, yet because I have a tiny rib cage they are about an F. Most people have a very poor grasp of bra sizing - an E or F cup is actually about average.

Now for some more constructive advice. If this deal-breaker really affects you or you think there is some deep-seated reason for it, by all means go and talk to someone about it. If you don't think it's that serious, then I guess you'll just have to accept it. If you think it's going to make finding a girlfriend difficult, work on being happy as a single man, and I guess that the more women you meet, the more likely it is that you will meet one with breasts to your liking.

I do think that maybe you are being a little harsh on yourself, though. It's great that you are introspective, but remember that a lot of people have a certain thing they are very picky about when it comes to romantic partners. And it's not like you are dismissing smaller-breasted women on every level, as you are still acknowledging their qualities and worth - you are just perhaps silently ruling them out as sexual and romantic partners for yourself. As long as you are not obnoxious about it, you are entitled to not find something attractive. Keep on meeting women with both friendship and romance in mind, and also remember that just because you haven't found a smaller-breasted woman attractive so far, it might not always be that way. You might be surprised.
(edited 10 years ago)
There's nothing wrong with you, males are constantly forced to think that all females are beautiful no matter what they look like yet females are allowed to seek certain attributes such as fame, money, height, build etc? **** that. You're allowed to only be attracted to women with big breasts if you like, unless it's somehow negatively affecting you then do what the **** you want.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
I have this problem with girls and it is really freaking me out. I've searched the internet and haven't really found anything similar, so I'm calling on anyone who can saying anything relevant/helpful.

It's pretty simple. I'm a guy in my early twenties and I only find girls with big boobs attractive. This problem coupled with a crippling inability to converse with girls like other normal men means I essentially have little hope in my love life. Never having a girlfriend or even any intimacy with a girl is a problem in itself, especially at my age. Then there is the other previously mentioned problem.

Lets imagine me and my friends are out somewhere, say a pub or on campus somewhere at uni. You see girls all the time, mutual friends, acquaintances etc. So my friends might comment on girls they think are attractive, I might say "yeah she was fit" or whatever. But in my mind I am thinking I wouldn't give her a second look because her chest isn't big enough. She isn't fit because she has average sized breasts. You can understand how this is a problem. Firstly it makes me sound like a pervert (maybe I am), and secondly it drastically reduces the amount of possible partners for me (from an already small group I'm sure).

I don't consciously try to only like girls who are well endowed, it's some kind of unconscious mechanism inside me. I would love to like girls of all shapes and sizes, but I can't. I'm not great at estimating cup size but from some research online I guess I would like anything from say DD or E cup upwards, I don't know what the max would be. What I can say is that I wouldn't like comedy sized breasts that you are probably imagining, there is an upper limit. Anything that would appear in Nuts or Zoo magazines is probably my cup of tea (I feel like some kind of sex pervert saying that).

What makes me upset and has actually brought me close to tears sometimes is that if I was offered the perfect girl who was intelligent, pretty and shared interests; I would have to check out the eyes on her body before the eyes on her face.

Who can you talk to about this? My friends would think I was odd, girls would consider me some kind of maniac pervert and I doubt a doctor could even identify a problem in medical terms. And I do think this is a medical/psychological problem. What am I supposed to do, forever stay alone because the chances of me finding the right girl are so slim? Then I would probably feel guilty because I would question my motives in liking her. Additionally I don't think this is something I am going to grow out of, I'm in my early twenties now.


By 'some research online' I assume you mean furious masturbation whilst looking at pornography?
Reply 15
Original post by King_Julien
Just to put your mind at ease. Every guy thinks the same about a women's rack. But having said that, I think you should expand your criteria of what you would want in a women rather than breasts alone. :smile:


I do have other criteria, but it just becomes secondary.

Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse
This might sound pedantic, but define 'big boobs'. Do you mean big boobs for her frame, or do they have to be boobs so big they'd even look big on a big woman? You see, you say you like a D cup and up, but I have tiny boobs, yet because I have a tiny rib cage they are about an F. Most people have a very poor grasp of bra sizing - an E or F cup is actually about average.

Now for some more constructive advice. If this deal-breaker really affects you or you think there is some deep-seated reason for it, by all means go and talk to someone about it. If you don't think it's that serious, then I guess you'll just have to accept it. If you think it's going to make finding a girlfriend difficult, work on being happy as a single man, and I guess that the more women you meet, the more likely it is that you will meet one with breasts to your liking.

I do think that maybe you are being a little harsh on yourself, though. It's great that you are introspective, but remember that a lot of people have a certain thing they are very picky about when it comes to romantic partners. And it's not like you are dismissing smaller-breasted women on every level, as you are still acknowledging their qualities and worth - you are just perhaps silently ruling them out as sexual and romantic partners for yourself. As long as you are not obnoxious about it, you are entitled to not find something attractive. Keep on meeting women with both friendship and romance in mind, and also remember that just because you haven't found a smaller-breasted woman attractive so far, it might not always be that way. You might be surprised.


"big boobs for her frame" is probably the best way to describe it, I don't know how else to. Just a slim girl with a big chest, not cartoonish proportions but it is prominent. I would imagine a girl would describe it as out of proportion to the rest of her body, but I wouldn't think so.

Yeah I'm not obnoxious about it in the slightest, my views are 100% private. Also as you picked up on I don't hate women without large breasts and I don't try to ignore good factors about them. It just remains that these good things come in second place unfortunately. I mean I couldn't imagine myself with a big boobed girl who had nothing in common with me and a totally opposite personality, I would need the whole package so to speak.


Original post by Dr Pesto
By 'some research online' I assume you mean furious masturbation whilst looking at pornography?


This made my day. Thank you doctor.
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
I have this problem with girls and it is really freaking me out. I've searched the internet and haven't really found anything similar, so I'm calling on anyone who can saying anything relevant/helpful.

It's pretty simple. I'm a guy in my early twenties and I only find girls with big boobs attractive. This problem coupled with a crippling inability to converse with girls like other normal men means I essentially have little hope in my love life. Never having a girlfriend or even any intimacy with a girl is a problem in itself, especially at my age. Then there is the other previously mentioned problem.

Lets imagine me and my friends are out somewhere, say a pub or on campus somewhere at uni. You see girls all the time, mutual friends, acquaintances etc. So my friends might comment on girls they think are attractive, I might say "yeah she was fit" or whatever. But in my mind I am thinking I wouldn't give her a second look because her chest isn't big enough. She isn't fit because she has average sized breasts. You can understand how this is a problem. Firstly it makes me sound like a pervert (maybe I am), and secondly it drastically reduces the amount of possible partners for me (from an already small group I'm sure).

I don't consciously try to only like girls who are well endowed, it's some kind of unconscious mechanism inside me. I would love to like girls of all shapes and sizes, but I can't. I'm not great at estimating cup size but from some research online I guess I would like anything from say DD or E cup upwards, I don't know what the max would be. What I can say is that I wouldn't like comedy sized breasts that you are probably imagining, there is an upper limit. Anything that would appear in Nuts or Zoo magazines is probably my cup of tea (I feel like some kind of sex pervert saying that).

What makes me upset and has actually brought me close to tears sometimes is that if I was offered the perfect girl who was intelligent, pretty and shared interests; I would have to check out the eyes on her body before the eyes on her face.

Who can you talk to about this? My friends would think I was odd, girls would consider me some kind of maniac pervert and I doubt a doctor could even identify a problem in medical terms. And I do think this is a medical/psychological problem. What am I supposed to do, forever stay alone because the chances of me finding the right girl are so slim? Then I would probably feel guilty because I would question my motives in liking her. Additionally I don't think this is something I am going to grow out of, I'm in my early twenties now.

It doesn't sound like you have a serious problem, excluding the fact you find it difficult to speak to females, but that's quite common.

Unfortunately I really don't think you can't help what you're attracted to. If you like big boobs, you like big boobs.

Yes you're limiting the number of people you can date, but if a kind, intelligent girl with large boobs is what you really want then I'm pretty sure you'll find her at some point.

I wouldn't think you're a pervert - to me that's like saying women who like well-endowed men are perverts.

Although your preferences might appear superficial, you do actually seem to care about what's on the inside once you get past the chest issue, and I would expect most girls to understand that.
Reply 17
I was expecting you to have some crazy weird fetish. You have a type, you are attracted to women with large breasts, lots of women have large breasts, you won't be alone forever. You can't help what you're attracted to. This really isn't that big of an issue.
I don't really see the problem :s-smilie: sure, it kind of narrows it down a little if you're only attracted to girls with large breasts, but a lot of men prefer bigger chests to smaller chests, just like some men would only date girls with a small/flat chest. It's a bit overdramatic to think you have a dark psychological/medical problem because of this.

Lots of people have their preferences. I don't want to sound harsh, but if the chest size is a deciding factor then that's a little shallow, but there's no need to think there's something psychologically wrong with you. You're just fussy, some people do place a lot of emphasis on a particular physical feature when they're looking for a partner.

I really don't think you need to worry and you're beating yourself up unnecessarily. At early twenties, you have plenty of time! And there are lots and lots and lots and lots of women who are D cup or larger who are also intelligent, pretty, and nice women! Just try and relax a bit more, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you try too hard to meet someone, it'll end up backfiring and you may find yourself feeling underwhelmed and depressed.
Original post by eliza.anne
I was expecting you to have some crazy weird fetish. You have a type, you are attracted to women with large breasts, lots of women have large breasts, you won't be alone forever. You can't help what you're attracted to. This really isn't that big of an issue.


He would love you :tongue:

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