Regretting treating admirers/exes with little respect

if you dont feel the same don't fake it for the if onlys

Reply 2

Emmalina

1

Yah. I hate that im a bitch and like use men. But thats life.

Reply 3

OP

What? It's not about faking. It's about not losing respect for someone because they show an interest in you.
The grass may always seem greener and a person who is harder to get (and thus, less interested) will always seem more appealing. Sometimes it's nice just to have someone there who doesn't make you feel worthless.

Reply 4

well if you don't reciprocate then its unfair to string them along just because you want someone.

(at least this is how what your saying reads to me)

Reply 5

OP

dh00001

well if you don't reciprocate then its unfair to string them along just because you want someone.

(at least this is how what your saying reads to me)

Who's talking about stringing along? On the contrary, if you show someone respect, you don't do that. You're honest with them.

Quite often, when you consider someone for a relationship, you don't just think about the attraction. You might think about how you get on, whether the relationship makes you happy. My point was that "having someone show you real interest" is often put down too often. I hear loads of people, loads of friends complain about "clingy" ex-girlfriends, romantic ex-boyfriends... Yes it's all nice going for people who show little interest, who are all distant and don't seem to care too much but that only gets you so far. It's only recently that I'm starting to appreciate the importance of having someone show you genuine interest (not talking about infatuation). I think a lot of people learn to appreciate that but it's often quite late.

It's after being ****ed over a few times that you realise that indifference isn't what it was cracked up to be. You have to abandon the whole attractive indifference thing and maybe give the nice girl/guy a chance.

It's a bit of a shame to think that a relationship can only work if the two aren't too interested and don't show much interest from the start and only slowly become dependent on eachother and decide to stay together because of that.

Reply 6

sorry i misunderstood your posts.
with you saying you could've been nicer to people who shown interest but 'you found it hard to have the same feelings and admiration for this person' i produced my opinion

Reply 7

sssh

10

I don't really feel up to writing up my own experiences in here, but I'd like to add an "Amen". I know how you feel.

EDIT: But you have to be careful how you describe it; you're never likely to get much sympathy either way. Soon this thread will be invaded by people who have been messed about by people like you and me.

Reply 8

OP

dh00001

sorry i misunderstood your posts.
with you saying you could've been nicer to people who shown interest but 'you found it hard to have the same feelings and admiration for this person' i produced my opinion

Thanks for taking part in this thread (you seem to be the only one!). Yes indeed, looking at it that way, what you said made sense but what controls the admiration and respect we have for someone?

A reason why we often don't appreciate attention like that is because we're often convinced there are plenty of people out there who would show us the same kind of attention (it took me a while to realise that that simply isn't the case, that people might show you attention to get something from you, but genuine interest and actually caring, is rare).

Another reason is also that these days, to show someone real interest or to be romantic is just looked down upon and joked about. It simply isn't cool or popular to show feelings. I reckon that it's a stupid way of seeing things. Why should we have to feel the influence of other people and society to tell us what's attractive or not? For example, in the past, romantic gestures were quite popular. Now these days, they're often seen as cliché and a joke. That's just an example of being influenced by the media and people around us. It's nice to be able to see through all that, and actually appreciate someone showing interest (even if it's not before the date limit set by society).

Reply 9

OP

sssh

I don't really feel up to writing up my own experiences in here, but I'd like to add an "Amen". I know how you feel.

well maybe you should talk about your experiences... I feel like I've spent too much time chasing after people who were indifferent because they appeared to be more popular, would give me more recognition. It just grows tiresome. Life's too short to waste your time on people who don't give a ****.

Reply 10

sssh

10

Oh, I'm not the one who does any kind of chasing. I am the one who goes out with someone and becomes disinterested, splits up with him, goes out with him again (probably just about when he had got over me) and then split up with him again. My ex boyfriend is so nice, but there was something not right. He wrote such a lovely livejournal entry about me. It was painful to read.

Reply 11