Is it just me, or do you think it's rude when...

You're say, sitting on a bus, completely minding your own business, and just b/c of the reason you don't appear white, someone randomly demands 'oh what nationality are you from/where are you from'?

I would like to know. B/c I find it incredibly strange that they had to over step about four social boundries in order to ask that.

Thankyou.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Anyone?

Reply 2

silverbolt

19

it was probably a chat up line of some kind

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Yeah i think thats rude. but then agen it depends wot part of the country u live in. In the cities people r probly more likey 2 c loadsa diff skin colours and so dnt ask. Iv got friends who r slightly darker than usual and i asked them cos i think its interesting to kno the heritage and stuff. but i wud neva ask a stranger- like its the first thing u notice about them cos that is rly rude. Do u notice mostly white/black/other people asking u , or is it a mix?

Reply 4

bone-machine

9

that IS sort of rude,this is britain, we dont talk freely to strangers like in other countries where its ok to strike up convos on the bus. i hate randomers asking questions like that..or starting up convos...im white, so i dont get asked that that much, but my mums got a strong polish accent and it drives her crazy when people hear her speak on the mobile or something and then go 'ooooh what nationality are you?'. the only time poeple have asked me is when they think i MIGHT be polish and they are too..its like they asscume that becuse i have a bit of polish blood in me and they are polish we'll hit it off. maybe your fit and they want to get the ball rolling

also...maybe you have unusual and attractive mix of features and people are curious.
anyway, i agree, it rude, but understandable becuase thats natural curiosity..saying hi and striking up a non personal convo perhapse is ok, but thats quite a personal thing that you dont want to explain left right and centre.

Reply 5

Lucieva6

I think it absolutely depends on the tone of the question:

If the tone says "and where the HELL are YOU from?" then I'd get offended, but if it's a sincere question of someone who wants to learn and meet new people, then I suppose that's totally fine, even nice and kind...

Don't judge people prematurely!

LUcie :suitc:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

Yeah i think thats rude. but then agen it depends wot part of the country u live in. In the cities people r probly more likey 2 c loadsa diff skin colours and so dnt ask. Iv got friends who r slightly darker than usual and i asked them cos i think its interesting to kno the heritage and stuff. but i wud neva ask a stranger- like its the first thing u notice about them cos that is rly rude. Do u notice mostly white/black/other people asking u , or is it a mix?

Thanks babe :wink:

It's a mix, I get people who look different asking me. Mostly it's old people tho!! Argh lol.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

bone-machine

i hate randomers asking questions like that..or starting up convos...

I know! Like they don't think it's socially inept or something :p:

I feel sorry for your mum :frown:

Reply 8

Nimichizi

thats pretty rude...but with some people curiosity gets the better of them and a variety of resons can empower a person to speak their mind about such issues maybe an interest in the diversity of cultures and races in the country today. And I'd say asking is better than just staring and wondering!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Nimichizi

thats pretty rude...but with some people curiosity gets the better of them and a variety of resons can empower a person to speak their mind about such issues maybe an interest in the diversity of cultures and races in the country today. And I'd say asking is better than just staring and wondering!

Yeah I can see where you're coming from.

I still told the bloke to mind his own business tho! Is that ok? Well I thoght it was :cool:

Reply 10

strawberry

13

I would SO mind if someone asked me that. Please at least ask for my name FIRST, age SECOND and THEN that?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

strawberry

I would SO mind if someone asked me that. Please at least ask for my name FIRST, age SECOND and THEN that?

Tell me about it Strawberry! It's like what about my name, age, etc huh?? Hence what I meant by overstepping like four social barriers :wink:

Some people, no social skills whatsoever :rolleyes:

Anyway the man was old. Perhaps it's an age thing? Young people my age don't really ask that.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Ok kool so we have established that it is rude then.

I see this man regularly on the bus, might just report him to the driver if he does it again, he's quite odd :smile:

Thankyou

x

Reply 13

supernova2

11

theyre just being friendly because theyre curious. Im not white but my dad is and he always asks people because hes travelled a lot and has probably been to where they come from.

Reply 14

Fluent in Lies

2

Depends on the situation and how they phrased it but possibly.

Reply 15

Quita

1

I actually find it quite annoying when another black person asks me where I'm from because at the end of the day I don't define myself in terms of my colour so when people ask me where I'm from I'm like England or the town I'm from. I don't think oh Jamaica, because I wasn't born there and have only been once in my life. Just because I'm black doens't mean I'll have anything in common with another black person. What makes it worse is if you say England or a town then they are like duh! I meant where are you from

Reply 16

Renza

11

I asked a few times when I was working at Primark if people were on holiday from a certain country because of their accent but not because how they looked.

Do you have a foreign accent? :rolleyes:

But yeah, I think it's wrong to ask if a person thinks they look foreign.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Renza

I asked a few times when I was working at Primark if people were on holiday from a certain country because of their accent but not because how they looked.

Do you have a foreign accent? :rolleyes:

But yeah, I think it's wrong to ask if a person thinks they look foreign.

no. But they didn't even hear me talk, my phone was off and everything.

Reply 18

puppy

1) People used to be a lot more friendly say 50 years ago, I find older people will talk to me more in shops etc. than younger people so for them it's perhaps not a case of overstepping social boundaries.

2) As people have mentioned, it depends where you live- I've seen people do little surveys of this kind of thing on TV: in London people would walk past someone lying lifeless in the road but in many northern cities people would happily chat to people on the bus/in a shop etc. It can be a regional thing.

3) I very much doubt people are being rude, if they were racist or something they probably wouldn't talk to you at all so I wouldn't infer that they have some kind of problem with your ethnic origin just because they ask you a question like that.

I sometimes find people ask me that question; I'm white british but half my family is Polish so many foreign people (particualrly eastern European) can tell I'm kinda not English even though if people generally wouldn't think of me as looking foreign. Lots of people will take an interest particularly if they have foreign friends or family or are well travelled, people enjoy sharing their experiences especially if it's something a little more out of the ordinary that you don't see every day- gives people something to identify with.

Reply 19

Ella_belle

1

Generally, when strangers ask me where I'm from, I say London. It's true, I was born in London and I've lived here all my life. I don't even speak any other languages (unless you count A level French). Despite that, most people then ask again, as if they're talking to a small child, and say 'No, I mean where are you FROM from.' Just because I'm not white. It's not that I'm not proud of my heritage, and I don't mind discussing it with people I know, but I don't like the fact that I'm meant to feel less British than my other friends who were born here.

Is it just me, or do you think it's rude when...

Related discussions

Articles for you