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Time in a relationship

Me and my girlfriend have been going out now for about 4 months. Its my first real relationship. Ive noticed that sometimes we grow bored with eachother if we spend TOO much time together. Nowadays, we spend about 2 to 3 days together a week, and hardly ever speak outside these times. Im just wondering if thats a normal amount of time to be spending with each other..

How much contact do you have in your relationships?

Reply 1

Fluent in Lies

2

3629 minutes.

Reply 2

pendragon

13

Anonymous

Me and my girlfriend have been going out now for about 4 months. Its my first real relationship. Ive noticed that sometimes we grow bored with eachother if we spend TOO much time together. Nowadays, we spend about 2 to 3 days together a week, and hardly ever speak outside these times. Im just wondering if thats a normal amount of time to be spending with each other..

How much contact do you have in your relationships?

I used to live with my ex (of 2 years +) at uni and spend almost everyday with her, we never got bored of each other, though she did sometimes get bored with me prefering to stay at home and watch DVD's rather than going out to the pub or something. I think if you are getting bored together after 4 months that cannot be a good sign.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Fluent &#953

3629 minutes.

I mean per week, for example....

Reply 4

lizzielightning

i've been going out with my boyfriend for 1 year and 4 months, and it varries. i speak to him everyday on the phone, and probably see him about 3 times a week depending. sometimes in relationships you go through patches of not really seeing so much of each other, or seeing too much of one another, it really does depend.

are you happy with the amount of time you spend together?

Reply 5

Fluent in Lies

2

Just as long as you feel you want to be together.

Reply 6

Quita

1

It's dependent on the relationship. I don't get to see my girlfriend that often but I speak to her on the phone at least once a week but usually more like 4 times a week. It's dependent on what you feel comfortable with. With me its comfortable because it means that the time we have together is treasured but I have enough independence and space to do what most young people are doing by going out, having fun and studying for my exams.

Reply 7

peaches_and_cream

My boyfriend and I are exactly the same, and we've been together a year and a half and it hasn't affected our relationship at all. It's a good balance because it means we can make time for our friends (we don' have many mutual friends) and aren't living out of eachothers pockets the whole time. I think it's important to maintain a sense of independence in relationships and I find that by not seeing him all the time it's makes the time we spent together so much more valued.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

lizzielightning

i've been going out with my boyfriend for 1 year and 4 months, and it varries. i speak to him everyday on the phone, and probably see him about 3 times a week depending. sometimes in relationships you go through patches of not really seeing so much of each other, or seeing too much of one another, it really does depend.

are you happy with the amount of time you spend together?

Yea, i enjoy it. But I think the main issue is that she is a very shy person, and told me once that she has a VERY hard time expressing herself. Therefore it seems she needs the time to be alone. Its hard, but I do love her, and I do my best to respect her personality.

Reply 9

rosieposy87

1

peaches_and_cream

My boyfriend and I are exactly the same, and we've been together a year and a half and it hasn't affected our relationship at all. It's a good balance because it means we can make time for our friends (we don' have many mutual friends) and aren't living out of eachothers pockets the whole time. I think it's important to maintain a sense of independence in relationships and I find that by not seeing him all the time it's makes the time we spent together so much more valued.

Agreed! Before my boyfriend went to uni, we were completely glued to each other but now i can't even remember those days! I actually really enjoy being independent and doing things on my own- and then seeing him is a million times better when we finally are together.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

rosieposy87

Agreed! Before my boyfriend went to uni, we were completely glued to each other but now i can't even remember those days! I actually really enjoy being independent and doing things on my own- and then seeing him is a million times better when we finally are together.

Great! This is exactly how I feel...Also when you see each other you have so much more to talk about and discuss than if you were seeing each other every day. I also think its good that people should maintain a life outside a relationship, so if it suddenly ends the world doesnt come crashing down.

Reply 11

rosieposy87

1

Anonymous

Great! This is exactly how I feel...Also when you see each other you have so much more to talk about and discuss than if you were seeing each other every day. I also think its good that people should maintain a life outside a relationship, so if it suddenly ends the world doesnt come crashing down.

Exactly. Often couples who get together when they're young spend years by each other's sides, then get out the other side of uni and realise they have NO idea who they are. It's all about balance really. Although being in love is the most amazing experience that will ever happen to you- after a while it's important to realise that you need to be your own person too.

Reply 12

abc137

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and eight months and we see each other about 4 days each week, 2 during the week and then friday and saturday. On the days we don't see each other we talk on the phone. Just let her know that you respect her personality and let her know that it' not a problem, see how it goes from there perhaps she will open up to you more. x

Reply 13

Zoe_Holl

1

There is no norm. I was with my last boyfriend for two years - We saw eachother about three times a week and talked on the phone most nights.
I'm quite an independent person, and i think if i had been around him all the time i would have felt quite suffocated. As long as youre happy, thats what matters!
xx

Reply 14

Talya

16

If you get bored of each other now, what's it going to be like when you live together in the future?

IMHO, a relationship isn't worth being in if you can't see it going anywhere, it's not fair on either party.

Reply 15

clouddweller

I have to have a remote amount of space....
outside school now we're both on study leave etc etc, I'll see my boyfriend about three times during the week, plus at weekends. Obviously i talk to him as well, but i think if i spent every waking hour with him i'd drive the both of us crazy.
that sounds harsh....its not meant to.....

Reply 16

petri dish

I've learnt the hard way that spending too much with your boyfriend at this age (18) can be a bad thing, but what's right for one person might be different for another...but in my next relationship I'm going to keep my independence and not be with my boyfriend day in day out, we got bored a long time ago..took a while for us to break up..not a good thing!

Reply 17

vintage.queen

ive been with my bf for almost 3 years now, since i was 14 and at one point we became more like friends because we saw eachother so much. then we went on a break an we both realsied we had to be together so i guess it all depends on how close you are. Try doing something different to break the routine of seeing eachother. this sounds wel corny but do something like going on a proper date all over again like a meal, cinema or even a day out somewhere.

Reply 18

kizer

15

See her most days, talk on the phone when we don't see each other. Though in the summer she goes away for weeks at a time, so it's email then, and we survive that fine. Been together nearly 18 months.

Reply 19

fairycakes

12

me and my bf usually sleep together every nite during term time (not sex every nite) but in the same bed even though he lives 30 min bus ride away.
we usually see each other every day, and if we're both at home (not uni) we speak on the phone prolly a couple hours a day on average (over several phone calls during the day) and text and stuff. but i think my friends think this is a bit excessive. we've been going out for 1 year and 4 months.
xxxx

Time in a relationship

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