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I've been replaced!

14

well doesn't reality just suck. My best mate of 4/5 years has just got herself a boyfrien. Good for her, she deserves the best in life. Until last night when she decides she doesn't even have time to talk to me :eek:

I haven't seen her for a week because we've just started study leave and I've been revising at home rather than going to college to rsociolaise (like she has). Maybe I'm just catching her at the wrong times lately, but it appears she doesn't even have time to talk to me. Blah. Had to get that off my chest :smile:

Reply 1

1013

1

Some girls do that when they get a bf (some guys too). It is annoying but once the sparkle wears off, they always want their mates back! However, it doesn't sound too bad for you - of course you are gonna see your mates less during the exams! You should call her and arrange a biig blow-out day of shopping and then clubbing to celebrate once youhave finished. No boys allowed. God, I sound like the advice section in Sugar mag!

Reply 2

*starry_eyed_*

OP

14

meh, i'm counting down the days til she comes running back to me :p:

and she says I can't replace her at uni! :eek:

Reply 3

cinder

10

You're under threat of becoming the jealous best friend...don't do it. Understand she's NOT replacing you and that shes just sharing out her time with another person.
I know from personal experience that its an awful way to end a friendship, I had a friend, best friend for years, she always had boyfriends and spent more time with them than me, I just let her get on with it and was there when things went wrong. I got a boyfriend and she became jealous, if I'd argued with him she's just sneer, she got really nasty because of it. Hence we haven't spoken for a year.

Reply 4

floss

i saw less of my friends when i had a bf.. some people find it hard to juggle the two. and when a relationship is all new, you can't seem to peel yourself away from each other and you forget about those that you care about. give her time to realise but don't block contact with her. if she's a decent enough girl, she'd return your texts/calls.. eventually..

Reply 5

Redefined

13

Get another friend?

Reply 6

*starry_eyed_*

OP

14

cinder

You're under threat of becoming the jealous best friend...don't do it. Understand she's NOT replacing you and that shes just sharing out her time with another person.
I know from personal experience that its an awful way to end a friendship, I had a friend, best friend for years, she always had boyfriends and spent more time with them than me, I just let her get on with it and was there when things went wrong. I got a boyfriend and she became jealous, if I'd argued with him she's just sneer, she got really nasty because of it. Hence we haven't spoken for a year.

seriously, i'm not :eek:

I've been htere done that, had a LDR (I know its differnt but still..) I'm not jealous, I'm just saying I'm peeved off with her for not being here when I have "life-changing news"!!!

Reply 7

rosieposy87

1

I know it's hard but reacting in this way isn't going to help anything. When you get a boyfriend you will realise what a hard balance it is to gain between spending time with your boyfriend (when you're IN LOVE with that person) and spending time with your friends. She's probably just trying to get used to it right now- and if you talk to her about then i'm sure you'll be able to find the right balance. Sounds to me like you're a bit in shock about the whole thing and just need time to get used to it- don't project your jealous feelings onto her and make her life miserable. By the sounds of it, she hasn't done anything wrong.

Reply 8

*starry_eyed_*

OP

14

law:portal

Get another friend?

aha, i went the step further..i have 2 friends :eek:

Reply 9

Redefined

13

Well done you :biggrin:

But anyway, this thing happens all the time sadly :frown:

Reply 10

*starry_eyed_*

OP

14

law:portal

Well done you :biggrin:

But anyway, this thing happens all the time sadly :frown:

ah I know, stupid world taking my friend :p:

Reply 11

xXMessedUpXx

15

yep, its happened to me. one of my best friends went to uni andnow has a completly new set of friends. ive been out with them before but i'm always the outsider. some times you have to accept it and move on :frown:

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

MessedUp. To the OP, there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling: you want your friend to be happy but you still want to be her friend too and do what friends do. Imo you don't sound jealous at all. At least you didn't have a friend that said that if they had a bf they would never ditch their friends or make them second priority but when she got a crush on someone she had never met before, she was really horrible etc. :frown:

Reply 13

*starry_eyed_*

OP

14

Anonymous

MessedUp. To the OP, there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling: you want your friend to be happy but you still want to be her friend too and do what friends do. Imo you don't sound jealous at all. At least you didn't have a friend that said that if they had a bf they would never ditch their friends or make them second priority but when she got a crush on someone she had never met before, she was really horrible etc. :frown:

aww thats unfair. well, the good thing is she knows she's deserting me, so lets just see how long it is til she comes back! :confused:

Reply 14

fakeplasticsmee

8

Gaah I hate when girls do this. I've been in the same situation and it ended up with us not being friends again. Its happening again with someone else at the moment. Some girls seem to think that their bfs should be the most important person to them, although their friends have been there longer and friendships don't just end the way relationships can do. It annoys me because you as the friend have put in so much time and you want to be there for her, but she doesn't appreciate that and you've suddenley been replaced. I can totally understand. What I do about it is if you're feeling overshadowed, just leave them to it. They eventually realise that the friend is the one worth holding onto, and if you just let them get on with it you don't feel as bad. Also helps the person to realise that you're not around as much. If they're a worthwhile friend they won't do it though.

Reply 15

princess-anna

I have the exact same problem, my best friend of 7 years got together with her bf 6 months ago, before that I was supposed to be going on holiday with her and her family in August ( this is somthing we do nearly every year) but despite the fact that she had already invited me she mentioned in passing just how much fun her and her bf are gonna have when they go away together on the trip I was supposed to be on. Am i totally unreasonable to be mad about this?

Also this year has been pretty tough for me after loosing a close relative about 2 moths ago and moving house to a different area and she wasn't there for me at all. The one time we were supposed to be going out together for a girls night out clubbing she turned up with her boyfriend and sat in a corner making out with him until i got bored and walked home on my own - I was supposed to be staying at hers but she didnt even notice i had gone.

Am i being silly and jealous to be upset about this and do people thik I sould say somthing to her?

Thanks - sorry for the rant !!!
xxx

Reply 16

The Mudman

10

Well, Carrie still reminds me of the fact I prioritised you over her :rolleyes:

Don't worry about it. I'm sure she's still your friend, she just wants some time with her new boyfriend.

Reply 17

Elements

13

princess-anna

I have the exact same problem, my best friend of 7 years got together with her bf 6 months ago, before that I was supposed to be going on holiday with her and her family in August ( this is somthing we do nearly every year) but despite the fact that she had already invited me she mentioned in passing just how much fun her and her bf are gonna have when they go away together on the trip I was supposed to be on. Am i totally unreasonable to be mad about this?

Also this year has been pretty tough for me after loosing a close relative about 2 moths ago and moving house to a different area and she wasn't there for me at all. The one time we were supposed to be going out together for a girls night out clubbing she turned up with her boyfriend and sat in a corner making out with him until i got bored and walked home on my own - I was supposed to be staying at hers but she didnt even notice i had gone.

Am i being silly and jealous to be upset about this and do people thik I sould say somthing to her?

Thanks - sorry for the rant !!!
xxx

She sounds infatuated/besotted that she is losing her head and forgetting those that are important to her too. :hugs:

I don't think that you are being silly and jealous. You don't feel as though something is missing in your life apart from this friend, do you? How do you think that she would react if you said something to her?

Reply 18

Pandy

10

cinder

You're under threat of becoming the jealous best friend...don't do it. Understand she's NOT replacing you and that shes just sharing out her time with another person.
I know from personal experience that its an awful way to end a friendship, I had a friend, best friend for years, she always had boyfriends and spent more time with them than me, I just let her get on with it and was there when things went wrong. I got a boyfriend and she became jealous, if I'd argued with him she's just sneer, she got really nasty because of it. Hence we haven't spoken for a year.

Ditto. Don't let jealousy mess things up for you and her and her + the new boyfriend. Seen that scenario before and it ended up a mess.

Reply 19

mangomaz

14

*sigh* I'm kind of the same. But different. Best friend was my ex (stayed really good friends after we broke up yay). Now he has a new girlfriend which I can accept but its just makes me a bit sad that I'm not the most important person in his life any more :frown:

But still really practically best friends. Just trying to move through the jealousy thing because they are kind of perfect for each other. Just had to get that off my chest as well. Still makes me feel quite blue though :frown:

I've been replaced!

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