The Student Room Group

Boyf acting odd

Ok here goes. Me and my boyf have been together for over amonth now and we knew each other for at least a year before then. We liked each other on and off during this period, but finally got together a bit ago. Its not a secret at college that we are together, but we havent broadcast it because we arent the type to go declaring undying love for each other. But recently, during study leave I have seen him loads, going to the cinema and each others houses etc. Its great when we are together and we kiss and cuddle loads, like most couples. However, whenever we are with other people, espeically my friends, we act like we arent together. and he still does that thing that some boys do when they like you - you know acting all mean to get your attention? I find this odd because people keep giving me looks as if to say "why is your boyf so mean to you?" I just feel a bit odd about it all. because we are getting pretty intimate in the relationship when we are alone, then other times i feel like i cant even hold his hand. It makes me feel a bit used, and maybe like i am getting in too deep too quickly? PBut i know he wouldnt use me, cos he isnt like that at all. He is a very changeable boy and he is a very deep thinker, especially emotionally, so im a abit worried that maybe he is trying not to hurt me in some way but i dont know? Any advice welcome, thanks in advance!!
Reply 1
I think you need to talk to him. Maybe he isnt used to public displays affection; maybe he doesnt like looking 'soppy' in front of his friends. Only he knows why he's acting so strange so its only him that can answer your question...
Reply 2
Because your relationship is so new I think that he's probably scared that it might not last. By acting aloof among your friends and not showing you his full affection in front of them he's (subconciously i should think) saving himself from embarassment if you were to break up. He probably doesn't want your friends to realise how much he likes you in case you don't stay together.

I always acted like that with my (now ex) boyfriend of 1 year and a half. About 9 months into our relationship a mutual friend of ours pointed out that i was really mean to him in front of our gang, and said "you can't hide the fact that you love him forever, we're not stupid we all know how much he means to you!". I had no idea i was being such a muppet until that day, my bf didn't seem to mind, he too had worked out why i was behaving so strangely but didn't think to tell me!
It might just be because he wants to hang out with his mates a bit rather than paying attention to you all the time. And also yeah he doesnt want to be too soppy probably
maybe he still thinks he has to play games to get your attention and to keep your affections.
maybe you should just tell him that you don't want to play games with each other and just be straight from now on?

xxxx
Reply 5
I would set his ass straight ' what! you seem to know my name real well in the bedroom, but its Keenya who? once we are in public-child please.' you tell him that unless he wants to be flyin solo that 2nd grade is now over and newsflash: you two are a couple. He needs to grow up and realize he's got a girl before another dude comes over and sees he aint bringin that **** and gives you the attention your man is obviously not giving you.
Reply 6
I hate girls with attitutes like the one above, what's the need to have such a chip on your shoulder?

Don't worry, he's probably just feeling a bit awkward and doesnt really know how to go about things in public with you since u aint been togeather long. I started of like that with my girlfriend; for the first few months we never went near eachother in school or outside but were fine wen we were alone in each others houses, this was probably especially the case as it was both our first serious relationship. We just spoke about it got progressivly less weird. Then it got the point were we were getting moaned by other ppl for showing too much affection in public! And now i've been with her for about 2years and it's allll good.
Reply 7
Thanks for evryone's advice. I think maybe I am a bit guilty of it too because I dont exactly go out of my way to be affectionate in public. Im going to talk to him about it and I will probably find out that he thinks the same as me anyway! Thanks for making me feel better.
keenya2006
I would set his ass straight ' what! you seem to know my name real well in the bedroom, but its Keenya who? once we are in public-child please.' you tell him that unless he wants to be flyin solo that 2nd grade is now over and newsflash: you two are a couple. He needs to grow up and realize he's got a girl before another dude comes over and sees he aint bringin that **** and gives you the attention your man is obviously not giving you.


Lol, love it!:biggrin:
Reply 9
When me and my chap are out in public, were not the holding hands, kissing type couple. But none of that matters, because at the end of the day when were alone and together what happens then is all that matters. I cant comment about the mean thing, although my chap does tease me when were near crouds of our friends.

You need to ask yourself though is it him you want or just something you can have on your arm when your out and about. Because if you want him, the public displays of affection arnt important because your safe in the knowledge that the spark/affection is there when your alone.
Consie
I hate girls with attitutes like the one above, what's the need to have such a chip on your shoulder?


why shouldnt she set him straight?? no point in letting it fester, if my bf is doing something wrong then im going to let him know about it and let him appologise before it turns into a full blown arguement.
Reply 11
Glory has it spot on. I think this threat has overblown his behaviour a bit; its nothing. I do think you shouldnt let things fester High Priestess, as it ends up damaging the relationship if you dont, there's just no need to be confrontational and obnoxius about it. Keenya might have been messing the way she said the stuff, but i just know people who speak like her with the 'newsflash' and the 'im gonna get me a new man' stuff, it infuriates me no end. Might just be a pet hate of mine though...