Depression

I feel I may be suffering from bipolar disorder. The symptoms that I've read are something that I relate to very closely; I just thought that my behaviour was normal and everyone goes through this.

Sometimes with a very bad episode, I will feel completely useless. A disgrace to humanity and an absolute overwhelming sensation of bleakness, a dark grey. Impossible to get excited by anything or maintain interest in this. I have contenplated suicide many times, going so far as planning out in my head how I would do it. Never had the balls to do it though and to be perfectly honest I doubt I ever would.

The problem for me is that whenever I manage to identify these episodes in my past I tend to swing to the other side and feel very happy and excited and just think that my bad patches are nothing to worry about and just trivial little episodes that a doctor would laugh at. When the times are good though, they are ecstatic. I feel absolutely great and on top of the world, nothing can stop me and I can do anything I put myself to, so much so that it's sometimes hard for me to sit still without pacing round the room.

On my work it's probably had at times a devestating effect, especially over half-term and the like, since if I'm on a downer I will not bother getting up and just feel like an utter failure and it's a waste of time to try anything, again with that dark grey colour surrounding me. To be fair, if I'm on a high then it does boost my work massively. But the highs just don't happen as often as the lows.

I really don't know where to go from here. I am really scared that medical professionals will laugh at me if I contact them and say that it's perfectly normal to have moodswings. Though if I managed to cut out the lows my life would be immensely better, even if it meant cutting out the highs.

If it matters, I'm 18.

What should I do?

Reply 1

Ethereal

19

go to a doctor. People on an internet forum can't diagnose you

Reply 2

FyreFight

14

Go to your GP, but don't say "I've looked it up on the internet, and I'm sure I have bipolar disorder." They get swamped with hypochondriachs who have minor symptoms, look them up on the web and get told they have some major illness when in reality they have nothing of the sort. Just go, tell him or her your symptoms and see what they say.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Right, I'll probably do that. Should I just phone my family's GP and ask for an appointment? I've never been to the doctors since I was very young and don't really know what to do.

Reply 4

dead antics

yup just ring and give your name and make an appointment

Reply 5

Note

11

How exactly do they diagnose bipolarism anyway? Is it purely psycological testing or do they have some scans, blood tests etc.?

Reply 6

puppy

Note

How exactly do they diagnose bipolarism anyway? Is it purely psycological testing or do they have some scans, blood tests etc.?

They just do it based on symptoms, there's nothing physical to test for!

Reply 7

.butterfly.x.

11

I have studied depression briefly as part of my psychology course and although it is mostly psychological there is also a biological aspect. Although I cannot say for sure, it definitly sounds serious and I too would go to the doctors. I have learnt that 2 or more of the following symptoms have to occur for 2 weeks; emotional, motivational, somatic and cognitive. The depression could be due to external factors that occur such as death or endogenous such as hormonal imbalance.

Reply 8

alibertine

1

Can't bipolar disease be linked genetically too? Or was that just on ER..

Reply 9

gyrase

3

Anonymous

I feel I may be suffering from bipolar disorder. The symptoms that I've read are something that I relate to very closely; I just thought that my behaviour was normal and everyone goes through this.

Sometimes with a very bad episode, I will feel completely useless. A disgrace to humanity and an absolute overwhelming sensation of bleakness, a dark grey. Impossible to get excited by anything or maintain interest in this. I have contenplated suicide many times, going so far as planning out in my head how I would do it. Never had the balls to do it though and to be perfectly honest I doubt I ever would.

The problem for me is that whenever I manage to identify these episodes in my past I tend to swing to the other side and feel very happy and excited and just think that my bad patches are nothing to worry about and just trivial little episodes that a doctor would laugh at. When the times are good though, they are ecstatic. I feel absolutely great and on top of the world, nothing can stop me and I can do anything I put myself to, so much so that it's sometimes hard for me to sit still without pacing round the room.

On my work it's probably had at times a devestating effect, especially over half-term and the like, since if I'm on a downer I will not bother getting up and just feel like an utter failure and it's a waste of time to try anything, again with that dark grey colour surrounding me. To be fair, if I'm on a high then it does boost my work massively. But the highs just don't happen as often as the lows.

I really don't know where to go from here. I am really scared that medical professionals will laugh at me if I contact them and say that it's perfectly normal to have moodswings. Though if I managed to cut out the lows my life would be immensely better, even if it meant cutting out the highs.

If it matters, I'm 18.

What should I do?

The bits in bold being the key problems, it seems you are socially secluded, making your situation worser.

Definitely see someone about it, doctors would commonly prescribe diagnostic drugs, and talking to people about it also helps.

PM me, if you feel lonely and want to talk to someone. :smile:

Depression

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