I'm an 18 year old Somali who simply doesn't believe any more due to personal circumstances and researching more into religion and science.
Lately, I've been feeling like a hypocrite, walking around with a hijab on despite the change of my beliefs.
Two friends of mine have stopped wearing the hijab, but they're Bengali and their parents are less strict about covering up. I felt so envious of how much freedom they have.
I haven't told anyone that I no longer believe, as I'm too fearful of the consequences, but I know that I'm wearing the hijab for the wrong reasons. Religious friends have told me that they feel pride when wearing the hijab, but I feel nothing but frustration and anger at being restricted to show my hair. I fail to see why I can't show it - it's MY hair, I should be allowed to show it as much as I want, but it's not as easy as that.
The community I live in is very, very strict in terms of religion; I feel so emotionally isolated, and everyone seems to be so much happier than me.
The thing is, my whole family are devout Muslims who would surely kick me out if I dared to do such a thing.
This is genuinely getting me depressed; I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?