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Could see myself cheating

I’ve been with my bf for two years now. We’ve have a good relationship. I could never see myself cheating on him, or hurting him in any way. Lately though we haven’t been connecting as well as we used too. I think the honeymoon phrase is over or something. But now, I’ve met this other guy in work, who is just so amazing. We seem to connect on so many levels. We have a laugh, deep conservations (something not many guys can hold down) and generally a great time. For the first time in forever, I could actually see myself with this guy. I don’t think I would ever cheat on my boyfriend, but it scares me that I now may consider it. The guy in work is attracted to me, and if I’m honest I’m a little attracted to him too. I don’t know what to do. I don’t/won’t trust myself to go anywhere with this guy (a pub or something) where something may happen.

Argh, it’s just so confusing. What should/can I do?

Reply 1

Wonderboy Blue

1

"Could see myself cheating"
"I could never see myself cheating on him"

Do you know the difference between a positive and a negative [statement]?

It sounds like you will do something with this other guy eventually. It would be nice to dump your boyfriend first so that you are not cheating on him. And it will be less of a blow that way.

NB: I could say not many girls can hold a conversation!

Women...

Reply 2

Sazarina88

11

Do you not think that if you get with this other guy, you would, like with your bf, pass through the honeymoon stage.

I'm at a similar stage to you, been going out with my bf for 2 years on Saturday - yes the initial phase of sort of intense emotions etc has passed but that doesn't mean our relationship needs to be over.

If I were you, I'd concentrate on perhaps rekindling your current relationship - is there anywhere you went early on in your relationship? Have you talked to your bf about how you feel?

*Sarah*

Reply 3

Hayley_2k4

OP

12

Wonderboy Blue

"Could see myself cheating"
"I could never see myself cheating on him"

Do you know the difference between a positive and a negative [statement]?

It sounds like you will do something with this other guy eventually. It would be nice to dump your boyfriend first so that you are not cheating on him. And it will be less of a blow that way.

NB: I could say not many girls can hold a conversation!

Women...

Sorry, I know that statement seems odd. I might to see I could never see myself cheating on him a few months back. but in the last few months where we haven't been getting on so well. I can now see myself cheating on him. and the fact, that I've now met this other guy makes it all the more confusing

Reply 4

Jack0

Wonderboy Blue

NB: I could say not many girls can hold a conversation!

Women...

Amen to that.

Reply 5

username47781

20

Well the natural thing would be to talk with your boyfriend and find out whats happened and maybe try and see if you could work through it first.

Reply 6

JitsuCol

1

For such serious situations like this I would find getting advice from a website very hard to stomach! It sounds like you need to think about it. If it is just a bad phase, and in the long run you see a future with your b/f, then you should really try to stay.

As Sazarina88 rightly pointed out, all honeymoon periods end eventually, and then you have to figure out what to do with yourself.

Reply 7

Drogue

19

Hayley_2k4

I’ve been with my bf for two years now. We’ve have a good relationship. I could never see myself cheating on him, or hurting him in any way. Lately though we haven’t been connecting as well as we used too. I think the honeymoon phrase is over or something. But now, I’ve met this other guy in work, who is just so amazing. We seem to connect on so many levels. We have a laugh, deep conservations (something not many guys can hold down) and generally a great time. For the first time in forever, I could actually see myself with this guy. I don’t think I would ever cheat on my boyfriend, but it scares me that I now may consider it. The guy in work is attracted to me, and if I’m honest I’m a little attracted to him too. I don’t know what to do. I don’t/won’t trust myself to go anywhere with this guy (a pub or something) where something may happen.

Argh, it’s just so confusing. What should/can I do?

It's quite simple actually - you're going to have to choose. Either you stay with your boyfriend and see if you start to connect again, or accept it's over and go after the new interest. It only feels confusing because you want to do both, when you decide what you really want, then it becomes simple again :smile:

Reply 8

El Scotto

15

Hayley_2k4

I’ve been with my bf for two years now. We’ve have a good relationship. I could never see myself cheating on him, or hurting him in any way. Lately though we haven’t been connecting as well as we used too. I think the honeymoon phrase is over or something. But now, I’ve met this other guy in work, who is just so amazing. We seem to connect on so many levels. We have a laugh, deep conservations (something not many guys can hold down) and generally a great time. For the first time in forever, I could actually see myself with this guy. I don’t think I would ever cheat on my boyfriend, but it scares me that I now may consider it. The guy in work is attracted to me, and if I’m honest I’m a little attracted to him too. I don’t know what to do. I don’t/won’t trust myself to go anywhere with this guy (a pub or something) where something may happen.

Argh, it’s just so confusing. What should/can I do?

sounds like you really want that guys nuts. why dont you just tell your boyfriend how you really like things, as you obv wouldnt be thinking about someone else if he was doing everything right. give yourselves a chance to sort it out, if not the only really the only way you'll find out about how you really feel is if you test the waters elsewhere.

You could tell your boyfriend that thing about setting a bird free, and if she comes back shes truely yours.

but to be fair, if my bird went like that... She wouldnt be coming back. lol :biggrin:

(which is perhaps something u should think about, the senarios of what would happen after)

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Personally, i feel sorry for your boyfriend..

Please stay with him! You will not regret it, if you do cheat, people will lose respect for you

Reply 10

ollyorb

You could always see if your bf is up for a threesome???! I know - crazy, but that way you'd get rid of that desire you have for the guy at work whilst still staying with the guy you love. Just a suggestion!

Reply 11

cinder

10

Anonymous

Personally, i feel sorry for your boyfriend..

Please stay with him! You will not regret it, if you do cheat, people will lose respect for you

You can't expect her to stay with her boyfriend when she's getting the urge to move on because he might get upset and you feel sorry for him.

You need to tell your boyfriend and see where it goes from there...you can't keep it a secret thats cruel.

Reply 12

Hayley_2k4

OP

12

cinder

You need to tell your boyfriend and see where it goes from there...you can't keep it a secret thats cruel.

I plan too. he's coming over tonight, I plan to tell him then. hope it goes ok

Reply 13

MattG

1

give your b/f a chance, because all these feelings of "not getting on as well as you used too" etc are coming from you, he obviously doesn't know the extent of your feelings about your relationship at the moment, so talk about it together, be truthful and see whether you can get those feelings back together

Reply 14

Adhsur

15

I think regardless of whether or not you end up being with this new guy or things work out with him, your worry shows that there are problems with your current relationship. So before you consider other relationships, I say you consider your own and work out what it is you think you are missing out on. Perhaps have a chat with your bf, and see how it goes from there. Whatever you do, don't cheat because that is being unfair to two people you seem to care about.

Reply 15

iz_a_bell

10

Well, I guess the best thing you could do here is have a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend. If you feel there's something missing in your current relationship, I'm sure he might feel similar. Maybe, find a time and date to go out and do something exciting, just the two of you.