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Do you ever get over your first love?

My first love was the most wonderful guy EVER, I've never been so happy in my life and we dated from March 2010 - May 2011, so it's been over 2 years since we broke up.
It's not that I'm still in love with him (we barely talk, it'd be foolish to say I love him), but it's like my heart aches to have him back in my life!

We met up for the first time since we broke up back in April and due to emergency circumstances we had to end the meeting after about 15 minutes, but he turned to me and said "this is far harder than I thought it would be", what does that mean?! Was he reminded of the hurt from the breakup, or reminded of how he felt for me?
I was his first serious relationship too by the way.

I've been so confused about this for such a long time and just need some advice I guess!

Has anyone else had a similar thing happen to them? Is it true that you never forget your first love?

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Reply 1

Technetium

Your first 'love' will always be special to you in my opnion as that is the person who you began exploring your emotions with and whom you probably spent a lot of time thinking about. Even though you can move on in your love life, your first love will always be dear to your heart.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 2

CJKay

Been about 2 years since I saw mine, last spoke about 6 months ago. I still miss her in a strange, distant way.

Reply 3

xsophx

I dont think you do.

I still love my first and even was gonna marry him but then something happened. This was five years ago...then at xmas i saw him and well were back as mates but i still love him.

Reply 4

Seble

For those that have lost the one they love (human form) - No. But I wish it did, so much easier to fall in love with a fizzy drink then another human

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Annon just incase he figures out who I am

I really hope we get over first loves. Me and mine were best friends for a couple of yers before we started dating and I loved him but the relationship ended quickly ending the friendship with it and its been killing me for the past 4 months. Lost my best friend and my boyfriend and haven't really spoken to him properly since then yet I still curl up at night and have a little cry (little depressing I know) but as a group of uni friends, were all going out next week and he will be there and im terrified if im honest. I have no idea how I or he will react. things ended suddenly with no reason behind it. Think that's whats making it really hard to get over. But he just ignores my messages- and they aren't like "I love you please take me back...." they are just, "hi, how are you doing? " kind of messages.

a good old moan on here usually sorts me out lol.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

hmmmm.... that last message said I was the thread starter- I wasn't.

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

I don't know about my 'first' love but I don't think I'll ever be over my most recent ex. I'm not sure if it's because the time I spent with him symbolises a really happy time in my life or whether I have just forgotten the bad stuff. I often fantasise about what it would be like to see him again or even if we never broke up. It's been 3 years since I last saw him but it feels like yesterday, I even have a new boyfriend now but part of me thinks I'd still choose my ex over him if it came down to it. I sometimes wonder if my feelings mean something, maybe he is The One? Maybe I should fight for him? Then I just try and forget but it's not easy. He has a new girlfriend and the thought that he might spend the rest of his life with someone else breaks my heart.

Reply 8

Double Agent

A year since I was with mine, and I still miss her, not sure if its because she was my first everything, but she always has a special place and she won't be forgotten easily. God knows Ive tried!

Reply 9

zonkfrog

I hate to buck the trend but I would say yes sometimes you do.

My first love was a high school boyfriend and we kept it going even going to different unis in different cities. We were together 3 years and I did love him at the time. Things changed and it ended.

Ive had a 4 year relationship and and another guy who I was definitely in love with.

I recently stayed at my first love's place as a friend and it was just so weird. We had no chat and there was absolutely no feelings there. It was quiet odd. I used to live with this guy, I loved him and we were perfectly in sync and now nothing.

I guess I met new people, moved around, worked, did uni, travelling. I became a different person and so did he so we dont see each other the same way even though we used to be each others worlds.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 10

kate113855

I haven't had that much experience and time to tell at 18 but I still completely love my first real boyfriend. I felt like it'd never end which was a bit foolish of me and when it did I was depressed for a long time. I've had other relationships and liked people, but I doubt I'll love anyone as much as I loved him :-( I still think about him all the time and we're "friends", I guess.

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

It's been nearly a year and I was fine until I found out that they got a new girlfriend. I was the one to end it and it would never have worked out, but I still find myself getting a bit jealous when I see posts to each other online. :dontknow:

Reply 12

az08

Last time I saw mine was just over a year ago, last spoke to her 12 months ago. Were together for 3.5 years...in a LDR.

I have got with a few girls since then, but none have made me feel like I did with her, that magic spell feeling. Sometimes see a pic of her and remember the good times...funnily enough don't even think about the bad!

Hopefully I'll find someone who I have an even better feeling with :smile:

Reply 13

Millie228

Yes.

How old are you?

Most adults think of the love or the 'loves' they had as a distant memory. It is true that the people you meet when you are young and inexperienced 'hit' you harder, but it is not given that your first love will remain someone special. It also depends how social, busy and actively dating you are. If you distance yourself from all of it and choose to wallow in memories, than yes - your first love may be your only one.

I lost my virginity to a guy when I was 17. I feel in love with someone at 18 - ended up on and off for three years - thought I'd never get over it. I cut him off completely, then met someone else at 21. Now I'm 23 and single. I haven't spoken to the first one in 2 years and the second in 1 year. They're cut off from all communication channels (only way to move on). The love that happened at 21 was way stronger than the one at 18. Of course I knew more what I wanted too.
If you've only ever had one love, you don't know what it's like to get over it and fall in love again. Hence, you cannot imagine it. Once you have, things change.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 14

iAhmedd

I dont think il ever forget my first love. Now when I think about it I realise how much I miss her. I havnt seen her in 2/3 years and I'm guessing she's changed her number as it says unavailable when I call her. I've gone out with a couple more girls after my first but I've never felt the same tbh. I'm 18 and single I guess I have plenty of time to find the right girl for me

Reply 15

thoyub

I never forgot my first love. She will always own a piece of my heart and she will never really leave me, she will always be relevant in my life. I still think about her often and if I met her again, i'm certain I would still get butterflies.

I may go on and have another relationship but I couldn't really love anyone in the same way again if you know what I mean. She was different. She was unique. She was beautiful.

Reply 16

bexl24

My first 'love' seems so long ago now it's ridiculous and I'm only 21. But I feel absolutely nothing at all for him now, see him out and about all the time and tbh we've changed so much it doesn't even feel like we were ever together! I think it depends on exactly how you feel about a person, how long you were with them etc. I think it's safe to say that my current boyfriend (who I had the world's biggest infatuation with from the age of 16) would be very different though! Been together for 2.5 years now and if we broke up I would be devastated, and I genuinely don't think I'd ever get over it :/ but fingers crossed it doesn't come to that :smile:

I hope so!

I guess it's early days yet but I can't ever see myself completely getting over him. It's been six months since we broke up and we've stayed friends and we're in contact quite regularly. I know I'm not IN love with him anymore, I don't feel as strongly and I'm happy to be single cause it wasn't working, but there's still a part of me which cares very deeply for him. I'd rather have him in my life than never speak to him. No contact wasn't an option.

Reply 19

maryamzahid

hmmm well yes and no. it depends on the individual and how they can deal with loss and breakups. for me my first love was sweet and I was in love with him since I was 11 (im 17 now so 6 years wow). But he didn't like me or had any clue that I was in love with him (yes the typical one sided love :/) but after yr 11 finished I began to look around and see how blind I was and what I lost because of him. It hurts me a lot because I wasted so many years on just one guy and never really being able to tell him how I felt about him. Now I'm older and much more mature than I was a year ago, I understand that these things happen and that instead of just pretending that it never happened, you should just think about the memories you guys shared and how much happiness it brought you as well being able to stay rooted to reality and think about the now and the future. btw I recommend you guys in a similar situation as me to listen to Gabrielle-Out of Reach, its pretty old but the lyrics speak to me :smile: