how am I supposed to carry on pretending?

In our group there are 5 of us, and 4 of us get on really well but the 5th person is only really liked by one of us. The only person in our group that gets on with this girl is also my best friend. Its loads of little things and a few big things that have made us feel like this. She tells lies about herself, and this could be because shes insecure etc but I myself can't trust people who lie like that. She is the one person I'd never tell anything important to as I made that mistake once with her. She went through a phase of not coming out with any of us at all, the worse time being when we all bought tickets to go ice skating, even her, as it was the end of the year and we thought it would be a goood day out,then the morning of the ice skating she decided that she couldnt be bothered to go! She doesnt really have any other friends to be honest and when I had an argument with my best friend she kept on persuading my friend not to talk to me, even though it turned out she did want to talk to me!
She also doesn't know when to stop ie when shes annoying someone. Or she does realise and just enjoys annoying people I dont know...Last night for example on msn she kept going on and on saying stupid things and asking me if I was going to try and
'get on as many people as pos on friday and have a competition with her?'
'no I dont really want to do taht to be honest'
'but its FUN'
'people are different'
'you used to...'
'i changed'
'NOTICED'
'why is that a bad thing?
I know is is really really petty, but I honestly don't like hanging around with her, as do my other 2 friends in our group, but I don't want to lose my best friend over this, as she gets on well with her. I can't carry on with pretending anymore! :redface:

aahaha rant over
x

Reply 1

bedbug

14

You basically have 3 options:
- refuse to get on with this girl and risk losing your best friend over it
- grin and bear it.. put up with her to keep the peace
- try to sort out your differences and learn to get along with her

How long is it until you go off to uni / go your separate ways? If it isn't long then I'd just put up with her.

Reply 2

wojewodztwo_pl

remember that poeple can change. some of my friends had friends that i really couldnt stand, but i thought to myself 'if i can put up with this person, and be happy around them, then it will probably widen my threshold to put up with other annoying people throughout life'. i know it may sound harsh, but it worked. and before i knew, i had learnt to adapt to the person personality, and i got used to it. plus the person changed alot as well while i was getting used to his personality, so in turn, things worked out for the best.

id just say, try to put up with her. if all of your friends dont like her, apart from your best friend, then maybe your best friend will realise.

buona fortuna

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I've now found out that she was talking to my boyfriend at the time (now ex) behind my back and even arranged to meet him (though she backed out the night before..) She also told other of my friends that my boyfriend at the time told her that he really liked her and then after I found this out she decided that it would be appropriate to use what he said to her in her msn display name! After I said to our mutual friend that I thought it was harsh of her to have her name as that, she had a rant at me on msn !
I don't think its harsh of me not to talk to her really to be honest now :mad:

x

Reply 4

Glory

1

block her on msn, try and be civil around your best friend. Dont interact with her unless your best friend asks you to.

Reply 5

Bubblebee

15

hmmm, why not just take some time out with your other friends and let your 'best' friend find out what this other girl is truly like?

Reply 6

notsoperfect

1

i would say put up with it as best you can... there's a girl i don't really like that i have to hang around with but i'd prefer that than causing an argument because i know that a couple of people do REALLY like her (can't see why...)

Reply 7

rufus_da_bear

13

why dont the three of you who dont like her confront her about it? meybe she will get a bit scared by half her friends confronting her over the matter and try and change? remember rationalised talks are always better than arguements. our group did one of this with one of our friends once who has been annoying us for a while, but now its all sorted and shes cool!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

rightio, need some advice now on how to go out this next problem, ie whther I should do something, saying something or just not say anything at all. So this girl said she was going to meet up with him but never did and Í thought this was pretty silly. I then did a childish thing I now realise or not really taljing to her. She then after 2 weeks or so asks me why Im not talking to her and I tell her I have my reasons, which she then said to me that I have no reason not to talk to her. After a drunk evneing me and antoher friend, the best friend of the horrible girl, decided to see if this girl had sent any emails to my ex. I know it was a stupid thing to do, going onto his msn but I had to know either way. (He gave me his password ages ago) We went on and found about 30 emails she had sent him! Dating from a day or 2 after we broke up! I couldnt believe it, they basically show that theyve been going out secretly. So this girl had ben lying to my face! Even my best friend mentioned casucally whether shed spoken to him, which she said no to. My friend also now realises why the horrible girl said some things before like " why doesnt she (as in me) get over him (my ex)" We now realise that she said that because she was emailing him and meeting him etc!
So.....what should I do? Do nothing (Im not going to be speaking to her again I can tell u). Or play with her mind?( as suggested by my best friend) I honestly cant do nothing I dont think, but at the same time I cant come out and say i know otherwise theyll know we looked at his emails!
Any advice please?
x

Reply 9

Glory

1

be a grown up and ignore her, exclude her from anything which has anything to do with you. Shes not worth your time or your effort, if she asks why you still aint talking to her, tell her you know she was seeing your ex at the same time. If she asks how you know, just say you have your sources and refuse to disclose them. For all she knows someone may of told you, thats how i found out about my ex cheating on me with another girl.

how am I supposed to carry on pretending?

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