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Teachers with too high expectations

I had my report reading yesterday at school, where we have a look at our grades alone, then discuss them with our form tutor. I did better than I thought I'd done, and my form tutor laughed when he saw me and said: "I somehow don't think this is going to take very long- you got 11A*s and As".

The thing is, it's nice when teachers give you fairly good grades, and it can be an incentive to make you work harder. But on the other hand, it sometimes can put too much pressure on you. My French teacher has really high hopes for me, and I'm really worried I'm going to mess it up. I'm the most disorganised person in the world, and good grades don't come naturally to me.

I know this is sounding absolutely stupid, and you're probably thinking: "It's alright for her, she could be failing every subject etc.. you should be grateful for what you have." But I'm just so worried I'm not going to meet these grades, and then when it all goes wrong everyone will be like: "What happened? What went wrong?" And I'll have disappointed everyone.

Aughh I'm so sorry for this, that probably sounds like the most pretentious thing you've ever read. Aughh, I just know I'm going to mess up though.

Reply 1

Biffy Clyro

Firstly, Am I right that you've done your GCSEs and the pressure is for your A-levels (It isn't that clear)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Oh, sorry- I didn't make it clear at all. Nope, I haven't done my GCSEs yet.

Reply 3

bedbug

Are you doing them this summer then..?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I'm just coming to the end of year 10. I know it seems slightly premature to worry about grades, but it's an ongoing thing really. I don't just mean GCSEs, I mean general school reports. I'm just so worried that I'm not going to get the grades they think I'm going to get, and everyone will be really disappointed.

Reply 5

bedbug

If you don't, you don't. As long as you've tried your best they really can't complain. I was in a similar situation as you, was predicted really high grades and I just worked my bum off to try and get them. Didn't do too badly. My advice to you would be prepare WELL for your year 10 exams and for your mocks. Then when it comes to the actual exams you've already revised most of it twice thoroughly so it's a piece of cake :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Thanks

I've already done our "end of year" exams- ironically named, considering they were in early March..

But in three weeks today we've got our French orals, and our German ones not soon after that. I'm so worried, because he has really high hopes for me. I told him that I was a bit worried about it, and if I didn't do so well, not to be really surprised. But he said to me: "I'm positive you'll do excellently, I think you're a naturally quiet person in class simply because there are so many people, but now is your chance to shine because it's one on one. You're number one in the top set and you absorb everything..". But I think he's building it up to too much? I'm not great, and I know it's going to go wrong.. aughh

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

And that just sounded really conceited again- I'm sorry.

Reply 8

bedbug

Stop moaning about it and revise then. If you don't live up to expectations then you don't. Nothing you can do about it then. Revise now and you'll save yourself the worry.

Reply 9

insparato

I know it can be abit pissy when you're perceived as that clever and all your teachers are expecting you to do well. If you dont you get the grades you dont get the grades but dont take teachers expectations so seriously they are only teachers. You should be wanting to get the grades yuo think you are capable of if thats 11A*'s go for it gcse arent everything you find out when you get to A level.

Reply 10

tritogeneia1

I can kind of see where you're coming from; I always get worried about doing well and, if teachers/tutors think I am doing well, about not living up to it and thinking they're saying 'we must have been wrong, she's not that great after all'. I'm fairly sure, without wanting to sound too up myself, that it's mostly just paranoia; I'm just really really perfectionist and hate not doing the best I can, and then I annoy everyone by moaning too much when what I did get isn't that bad, it's just that I felt I could have done better and then obsess over it.

I would trust your teachers more though; I know you're thinking that they're mistaken and the fact that you're doing well is just a sham which will be exposed, but they do have an outside professional perspective on it and they can be very astute at spotting when people are good at things. Don't assume that you've fooled them by working hard, they probably have a fairly good idea of your capabilities and you're just getting worried because you think that really you aren't that good but you've somehow fooled them - they're not that easy to trick that way, I've found! And if nothing else, the fact that you're worried and planning to work hard should mean that you do well anyway.

Hope this helps, I do know the problem and it's hard to put into words without sounding completely up yourself and big-headed (not to mention obsessive, at least in my case!)

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Absolutely. :smile:

It sounds like a really stupid problem- most of my friends say: "Why are you worried? You did better than I did." and you come across really conceited.

I guess they do have experience, so probably know students' capabilities and weaknesses. It's just difficult, because if for whatever reason it all goes wrong, the teachers generally talk about it like it was something you did consciously, and that you don't care that you've messed up. Unfortunately the opposite applies; most of the time you're even more disappointed in yourself than they are, and these: "What went wrong?" interrogations just heighten your disappointment.

Reply 12

halfoflessthan50p

I can completely empathise with you. Ive always done well at school but ive kind of learnt to 'hide it' (if that makes sense.) I sort of downplay my intelligence and dont correct people when they're wrong, that kind of thing. My friends know that im clever but i dont think many of them know how clever. Sometimes the pressure does get to me and i realise theres not a lot of people i can talk to, because of the way i am about it with them. Im afraid of sounding conceited too. Just writing this, im finding myself trying to re-word bits because i think i sound big-headed :redface:

It isnt easy being clever (that sounds so bad!! someone neg rep me :biggrin:

i deserve it!) but on the other hand you should be thankful. Most people would prefer to be in your situation, and it is a gift.

As far as GCSEs go. All i can say is: They will be sooo much easier than you think. I revised a lot because everyone made such a big deal about it (tbh they're not that important in the grand scheme of things. A2 are the only ones youre allowed to worry about okay? :wink:

) and afterwards felt that maybe i had taken it too seriously. From what you've said i dont think you will do badly. If you dont get all *A its hardly the end of the world. Teachers probably only want you to get good grades as a way of glorifying themselves. Its your education, and your life. Your doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. So if your happy with your grades (whatever you get, as long as youre satisfied you tried your best) then you shouldn't feel disappointed at all

(now should i post anonymous? nah, i have nothing to be ashamed of :biggrin:

)

Reply 13

tritogeneia1

I know what you mean Anon - I'm currently avoiding one of my tutors (easy to do as he's at another college) who wants to 'go through my collection (start of term test)' with me because I didn't do that well on it. I don't want to though, because I know what I did wrong, he's written really detailed remarks on it so anything I didn't know straight after the exam I do now, and I know that if I go to see him he'll just make me go through the whole thing again telling me what I did wrong and asking me what I had problems with, which will just make me really depressed about it. I know he expects me to do well on this paper, but he makes me feel as though I didn't know that I messed up and that I feel bad about it! So I know exactly what you mean about the way teachers/tutors act when you don't do that well!

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Thanks both of you. :smile:

It's hard, because everyone always looks at the grades alone, rather than the work behind them or the comments. When my form tutor asked me what I was most worried about, and I said "French", he looked down my list of grades, got to the A* for French and said: "You got an A* and you're worried? You weirdo. :smile:

". But people always assume that if you get an A* it just comes naturally to you and you don't have to try so hard.

Reply 15

jinglepupskye

I'm 20 now and with the benefit of hindsight I would say that GCSEs are not really that important, so it is not worth stressing out over them. So long as you get over a grade C then you can move on to A-levels, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO. I've capitalised this because it really comes down to is, what are your future career plans, and how important are GCSEs in that context?

GCSEs should be a walk in the park for most intelligent students who have worked conscientiously over the course and have done their best in coursework, so don't give yourself a hard time over them. Have faith in yourself and if you don't get all As then just ask the people who are making comments what their grades were. That should shut them up.