Women as a gender, are lazy.

Why is it that for the most part, the majority of women sit back and expect the men to come to them? In this age of equality and feminism why is this hurdle still not acknowleged or discussed? It's almost a shameful trait that society on the whole is embarassed to discuss and has to feel offended by any mention of it.

I know women are choosy and there's nothing wrong with this, but on the whole why is there a culture of the women letting the men come to them then doing their own shortlisting from that? I'm not just talking about "the first move" here, it goes as far as their own deep rooted expectations that the man will show an interest, then they will decide if that feeling is mutual enough to initiate a response.

It's almost like applying for a job, where the female gender is the interviewer and holds the outright power to shortlist as they see fit but would never apply for one themselves, and the man is the one who has to send out 30-40 "applications" to even be considered. It's all about "playing the game".

It's just a giant numbers game, where women know they can sit back and allow tens of men to come to them then choose from that but the men know they have to make themselves known and try their luck.

For the record, I am not a hopeless romantic, i have had relationships in the past which have been successful. I'm just interested to see peoples thoughts on this phenomenon.

(edited 10 years ago)

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Reply 1

Mostalgia

I've never seen a single piece of convincing evidence that this 'phenomenon' exists, and it certainly hasn't made itself known in my life. Care to provide some statistics or a citation?

[edit]: negged for asking for some impartial clarification, typical TSR (◡‿◡✿)

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 2

Izzyeviel

Let me guess, you asked someone out and they said no?

Reply 3

Double Agent

You've made a huge sweeping generalisation, provided no evidence and flapped about between weak themes like a cliched bitter internet guy. Nothing you've said is in the least bit convincing, and its clearly intended to try and create controversy where it doesn't exist.

Reply 4

NatalieRamsden

Original post by james1211

Why is it that for the most part, the majority of women sit back and expect the men to come to them? In this age of equality and feminism why is this hurdle still not acknowleged or discussed? It's almost a shameful trait that society on the whole is embarassed to discuss and has to feel offended by any mention of it.

I know women are choosy and there's nothing wrong with this, but on the whole why is there a culture of the women letting the men come to them then doing their own shortlisting from that? I'm not just talking about "the first move" here, it goes as far as their own deep rooted expectations that the man will show an interest, then they will decide if that feeling is mutual enough to initiate a response.

It's almost like applying for a job, where the female gender is the interviewer and holds the outright power to shortlist as they see fit but would never apply for one themselves, and the man is the one who has to send out 30-40 "applications" to even be considered. It's all about "playing the game". Seriously who has time for that in today's world?

It's just a giant numbers game, where women know they can sit back and allow tens of men to come to them then choose from that but the men know they have to make themselves known and try their luck.

For the record, I am not a hopeless romantic, i have had relationships in the past which have been successful. I'm just interested to see peoples thoughts on this phenomenon.

I'm slightly confused as to what your point is here. So you're saying that in the world of romance, love and relationships, women are lazy? I suppose you've had every kind of woman then, yes? My boyfriend is 8 years older, yet I was the one to approach him. I was the one to become friends with him. I was the one who gave him my number, made the first move and prompted the first kiss yet "all women are lazy?" I completely object to your opinion. I understand you are entitled to an opinion and you do have the freedom of speech but I am the kind of woman who has to make my point, whether it be for or against any topic. I prompted him to ask me out as we had been seeing each other; a little bit of dating. I asked him if we were going to make it official and then he asked me out. Ever since, he has treated me like a princess and he has been romantic and spontaneous. But what evidence from my story links to yours?

Reply 5

Tyrion_Lannister

Oh look, misogyny on TSR

You_don't_say.png

Reply 6

bottled

Pro-tip, always say some/most in front of women. Or men for the matter. Lest you get called out for wrongully tarring a whole bunch people for the same reason

Reply 7

455409

Original post by bottled

Pro-tip, always say some/most in front of women. Or men for the matter. Lest you get called out for wrongully tarring a whole bunch people for the same reason

I did, i said the majority of women, not women.

Reply 8

Lizzie232

Because sex is (generally) more important to men, so they make more of an effort for it (in general) and so make the first move.

Reply 9

455409

Original post by NatalieRamsden

Where did I say "all women"? If you're going to quote me, actually quote what i said, not what you think I said.

Reply 10

Pigling

There is a social norm that men do the chasing and asking, are the "active" ones with women the "passive" recipients to their behaviour.

You are right that in the day and age of feminism, this assumption is and should be questioned.

It does explain why there is a greater phenomenon of women being lazy/expectant/spoiled when it comes to romantic progression, but also the greater phenomenon of men being pushy, harassing, inappropriate. Both represent the extremes of gendered social expectation and are sexist behaviour, but also what you would expect (at least in terms of which gender is more likely to do which) according to that social norm.

Doesn't mean that most people of either gender aren't reasonable. So please try to remember that.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 11

Changing Skies

Yet another thread putting every woman into one category. :rolleyes:

Reply 12

jokosor

Sorry but I'm experiencing a lazy moment so yeah...

ULTIMATELY=> Woman + Man = Knocked up
Knocked up = Painful and bloody birth
Painful and bloody birth => Woman must then seriously think about who gets the privileged of putting her through this pain => Since men get most of the fun not only must they declare their interest but they must also do so convincingly and maybe repeatedly => However most men aren't simply selfish but also thirsty animals, these men along the unsuitable ones must be ejected from the pool => Thus selection takes place.

LEGEND
= (Equals)
=> (Leads to)

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 13

Pigling

Original post by james1211

I know women are choosy and there's nothing wrong with this, but on the whole why is there a culture of the women letting the men come to them then doing their own shortlisting from that? I'm not just talking about "the first move" here, it goes as far as their own deep rooted expectations that the man will show an interest, then they will decide if that feeling is mutual enough to initiate a response.

Also this is a bit harsh. Women who do feel they have to sit back and can't make a move, don't do so just out of expectation/entitlement. They are also, like everyone else, trying not to go wrong and to fulfill a role they have been led to believe is desirable and correct.

Just like a lad who is a bit forward and "macho", maybe too much, might be doing that because on some level he feels that's the way for him to be desirable and worthwhile as a man.

Because that is what we have all been raised with, culturally, to some extent. Not an excuse for outrageous behaviour, but surely for behaviour within certain bounds.

Reply 14

aspirinpharmacist

Original post by james1211

I'm the one who always does the chasing! Well, I do if I'm interested. I like it actually, it's fun. Wouldn't want it to be too easy. :lol:

There's less of an idea that it's unfeminine to chase after guys now, it's better than it was.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 15

pandabird

That's the way mate selection generally goes I'm afraid. Sexual selection and sexual behaviour as you know, are still very primitive aspects of human nature. When it comes to sexual selection, we aren't that much superior to sexual selection observed in animals. The female chooses from their pool of available possible mates, while the males show their peacock feathers and try to earn the female affection. Of course, many girls go against the grain and make the first move, but in general, this is the way it works. It's just another aspect of humans more instinctive, innate behaviour.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 16

455409

Original post by Pigling

Doesn't mean that most people of either gender aren't reasonable. So please try to remember that.

True, there are equally dubious traits of the male gender, and I accept we have our failings in this region too.

Original post by aspirinpharmacist

I'm the one who always does the chasing! Well, I do if I'm interested. I like it actually, it's fun. Wouldn't want it to be too easy. :lol:

There's less of an idea that it's unfeminine to chase after guys now, it's better than it was.

I'd consider you to be part of the roughly 1 in 5 women who have this attitude. Good for you, society may call you out for being weird or un-lady like but it shouldn't.