Girls: what would you say is the main cause of your insecurities?

What's your new job?

The main cause of my insecurities is the fact that I constantly compare myself with people around me. Not even people in magazines or media, but just real beautiful people around me and I aspire to have more physical beauty.

Then when I reached about 16 I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I wore very little makeup, stopped doing anything to my hair and suddenly started getting a hell of a lot more attention.

Not sure really where to post this.



Now most of my insecurities are about my body and I have to say it is mainly influence from the media. We're constantly bombarded with photos of apparently flawless women with no cellulite, no stretch marks, no spots, no eye bags, nothing. The only consolation is when you (very rarely) see unedited photos of these women who are apparently "perfect" and you can see they have flaws just like the rest of us.

Guys idolising female celebrities (I know girls do this too) and then seeing said celebrities airbrushed in magazines. Or seeing in magazines massive red cirlces around someone with a spot or cellulite. I find it ironic that these magazines are aimed at women but are totally unfeminist.

I'm going to sound like a massive arrogant tosser here, but I don't have many insecurities. I like how I look. I don't see the point in disliking how I look, this is me so I'm going to make the best of it. I like my figure, I think I have a fairly attractive face, and I always look nice. People come up to me and comment on it. So yeah, I like it.

However, I wasn't always confident. I was bullied massively at school for having big boobs and fair skin dark hair, was told I was ugly and looked like a man. I used to be insecure about having visible hair on my arms because I'm naturally black haired with fair skin so I used to think it was obvious and people used to take the piss, but now I don't care. At the time I used to be a bit insecure but now I'm alright. If someone doesn't like how I look it's not my problem. I know I look good.

I don't think I'm photogenic at all though.

See my other posts as well but:

It's true yes and it's hard yes but no one has to choose to buy into it. The pressures aren't coming from your potential suitors, they're coming from what you derive from a bunch of people who couldn't care less about anything other than selling their product. The entire industry is full of absurdity and bastardisation and it doesn't have to be listened to. The papers/magazines just say what ever will make people pick them up (hence the rediculous MMR-Autism scare and similar).

I'm not pointing and laughing at people who feel pressures. I'm just saying that whilst these things exist it's not those who matter who care and it's only for those who feel it to identify and believe in their own strengths and not buy into the impossible standards of no one

Social Media Marketer for Dove and Sister of Hope. Fun times, I get to make self-esteem Infographics for a living.

That's a ridiculous point. Men are also bombarded with perfect-looking men, we don't have as much desire (or for about 60% of us, any desire) to look 'perfect'. Unless there's some major psychological differences between the sexes.

That's a ridiculous point. Men are also bombarded with perfect-looking men, we don't have as much desire (or for about 60% of us, any desire) to look 'perfect'. Unless there's some major psychological differences between the sexes.

This. It's horrible, and so insensitive when I'm making a huge effort to put on weight.

I think girls would be really surprised at how much more guys like the less make-up, not over-done hair etc look. They're not looking for dolls XD

As I said in a few posts: I swear most of the judgement girls get on these things (imperfect hair, blotchy skin etc) comes from each other...

oh you massive arrogant tosser jks

If only it were so easy to just ignore it. Consider me, for example. I have known this for some years. I know they are setting ideals nobody can meet without the aid of a team of make-up artists and airbrushers. I know that nobody in reality expects you to meet these ideals. I know guys generally aren't looking for women to look like that and that they don't expect them to be that perfect. I know that most celebs/models/actresses etc. you wouldn't look twice at in the street if you passed them without make-up/all their other help.

And yet sometimes and in some ways I still feel inadequate. These standards might be coming from faceless no ones, but they're also everywhere as I said and it's very subversive. If you repeat something enough, people will believe it. And then there are those who don't even realise what it is that makes them feel inadequate, for whom all this isn't so transparent.

The odd thing is when I see a beautiful woman in public, I admire her. I never feel jealous of women I see out and about, it's only ones in the media that make me feel like ****.

x

Are you allowed to show me any? I'd imagine not but couldn't hurt to ask

Always a bad idea. We all have strengths and comparing ours to others is futile.