The Student Room Group

"Size" advice ?

Okay so I've been casually dating a new girl for a couple months or so and everything is going great. She's met most of my friends and what fam I have in the country, we get along really well - lots of flanter and good times, can't really ask for better to be honest.

But, last weekend we came to have sex for the first time, first time we have done anything together too. It started out really great, I could tell she was into it, she didn't seem shy or nervous and it wasn't awkward at all until it came to the actual sex. We went for about 10 minutes before I had to stop because it just wasn't working :/ She told me afterwards it was really painful, and she told me she's not exactly an amateur even though she's only 20.

I've always known I was well endowed, but I never thought it would ever be a negative thing. She is a shortie, at least a foot smaller than me and I'm only 6'1. Anyway, we tried having sex again last night after a night out and the same thing happened. Foreplay isn't the problem either.

I just don't know what I should do. I haven't spoken to my friends about it, not really something I want to go saying to my lad mates "Oh, we've had sex twice for 10 minutes, she hated every second of it". I really like the girl and can see something serious developing. But I don't see how it can work without the sex side of things being okay. Should I just throw away the 2 months and end it now before we waste more of each others time?

Advice would be really appreciated :frown:

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aww have you tried positions where she can be more in control of depth of penetration etc?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
aww have you tried positions where she can be more in control of depth of penetration etc?


First time we just did the standard boring position everyone is familiar with. Second time she went on top.
Try lube. Also 10 minutes isn't exactly a short amount of time to be having sex... It probably wasn't that painful for her to be able to last that long. I'm sure after a few times it'll get easier!
Lubrication? Different positions? Going Slower? She could just need more time/experience to get used to 'it', foreplay with her flower beforehand. just a few suggestions
without going into detail my boyfriend is very well endowed and it hurt like hell for a good few weeks every time we did it, you just have to take it slow and keep persisting till eventually her body will get use to it. Its frustrating for you as your enjoyment will come second but hopefully it will pay of in the end
Reply 6
Original post by LavenderBlueSky88
Try lube. Also 10 minutes isn't exactly a short amount of time to be having sex... It probably wasn't that painful for her to be able to last that long. I'm sure after a few times it'll get easier!

I'm obviously just guessing, I didn't have a stopwatch out or anything haha. But it just seemed very short. Neither of us 'finished'.

Original post by Anonymous
Lubrication? Different positions? Going Slower? She could just need more time/experience to get used to 'it', foreplay with her flower beforehand. just a few suggestions


She was really wet the first time we had sex, but I did think lube can only make it easier. I don't really want to be suggesting lube to her though. D: We've only been together 2 months.
Original post by save
Okay so I've been casually dating a new girl for a couple months or so and everything is going great. She's met most of my friends and what fam I have in the country, we get along really well - lots of flanter and good times, can't really ask for better to be honest.

But, last weekend we came to have sex for the first time, first time we have done anything together too. It started out really great, I could tell she was into it, she didn't seem shy or nervous and it wasn't awkward at all until it came to the actual sex. We went for about 10 minutes before I had to stop because it just wasn't working :/ She told me afterwards it was really painful, and she told me she's not exactly an amateur even though she's only 20.

I've always known I was well endowed, but I never thought it would ever be a negative thing. She is a shortie, at least a foot smaller than me and I'm only 6'1. Anyway, we tried having sex again last night after a night out and the same thing happened. Foreplay isn't the problem either.

I just don't know what I should do. I haven't spoken to my friends about it, not really something I want to go saying to my lad mates "Oh, we've had sex twice for 10 minutes, she hated every second of it". I really like the girl and can see something serious developing. But I don't see how it can work without the sex side of things being okay. Should I just throw away the 2 months and end it now before we waste more of each others time?

Advice would be really appreciated :frown:


How big are you if you don't mind me asking? More than 6 inches when erect? My boyfriend is.. Well endowed and I am quite petite.. It took having sex a good number of times before it could be enjoyable.. Especially when I was a Virgin- took maybe 10 times, I do think it was because of his size.. But i havent had intercourse with anyone else. Also if for some reason my bf and me go without sex for a month- like, sometimes we had to when we were in a LDR before he finished Uni... The next time we would have sex it'd be painful for 2 times, 3rd time is normally fine after that. You just need to get her used to it, and doing it frequently/more often than not is also good if she may have an elastic vagina :wink:
Original post by save
I'm obviously just guessing, I didn't have a stopwatch out or anything haha. But it just seemed very short. Neither of us 'finished'.



She was really wet the first time we had sex, but I did think lube can only make it easier. I don't really want to be suggesting lube to her though. D: We've only been together 2 months.


Lube isn't a signifier that there is something wrong with a relationship.. I've always used it. Surely it's better than hurting your girlfriend?
Reply 9
reading "well endowed" in every post, can't you just say massive trunk-like cock.
Reply 10
Original post by play_fetch
How big are you if you don't mind me asking? More than 6 inches when erect? My boyfriend is.. Well endowed and I am quite petite.. It took having sex a good number of times before it could be enjoyable.. Especially when I was a Virgin- took maybe 10 times, I do think it was because of his size.. But i havent had intercourse with anyone else. Also if for some reason my bf and me go without sex for a month- like, sometimes we had to when we were in a LDR before he finished Uni... The next time we would have sex it'd be painful for 2 times, 3rd time is normally fine after that. You just need to get her used to it, and doing it frequently/more often than not is also good if she may have an elastic vagina :wink:


It varies but around 10 inches long, 6 inches around. This is interesting, one of her friends told me the other day she hadn't had sex with anyone in over a year so maybe that could be it(?) I know that I'm the problem though, not her, whichever way you look at it which is the annoying part :/ So you think I should just carry on trying and hoping things will get easier ?
Reply 11
Original post by Albino
reading "well endowed" in every post, can't you just say massive trunk-like cock.


tree trunk, elephant trunk, car trunk, or a trunk you put luggage in? Lol :P
Original post by save
It varies but around 10 inches long, 6 inches around. This is interesting, one of her friends told me the other day she hadn't had sex with anyone in over a year so maybe that could be it(?) I know that I'm the problem though, not her, whichever way you look at it which is the annoying part :/ So you think I should just carry on trying and hoping things will get easier ?


Bloody hell! No wonder it hurt that's about the same size as my entire forearm! :eek:
Original post by save
It varies but around 10 inches long, 6 inches around. This is interesting, one of her friends told me the other day she hadn't had sex with anyone in over a year so maybe that could be it(?) I know that I'm the problem though, not her, whichever way you look at it which is the annoying part :/ So you think I should just carry on trying and hoping things will get easier ?


Quite thick too then so.. Not much diff to my bf. Yeah that with the combination of not sleeping with anyone for a year would be painful. For me I .. Guess I am 'lucky' in that I have no idea what people mean when they say they have slept with a girl who was 'really loose'- because after a month, even 3 weeks but especially a month it's almost like being a virgin again.. I don't know if it is just me or other girls have a similar experience but.. That's how it is for me! I guess the advice would be to keep trying but let her initiate when she wants to do it I guess as it is painful so until it isn't she will need to be in the right mood to endure some pain haha.
Reply 14
That's not 'well endowed' that's a Pringles can.

*doffs cap*
Also I haven't found lube very effective when it comes to this particular issue..
Original post by save
It varies but around 10 inches long, 6 inches around. This is interesting, one of her friends told me the other day she hadn't had sex with anyone in over a year so maybe that could be it(?) I know that I'm the problem though, not her, whichever way you look at it which is the annoying part :/ So you think I should just carry on trying and hoping things will get easier ?


:lolwut:
Reply 17
Original post by play_fetch
Quite thick too then so.. Not much diff to my bf. Yeah that with the combination of not sleeping with anyone for a year would be painful. For me I .. Guess I am 'lucky' in that I have no idea what people mean when they say they have slept with a girl who was 'really loose'- because after a month, even 3 weeks but especially a month it's almost like being a virgin again.. I don't know if it is just me or other girls have a similar experience but.. That's how it is for me! I guess the advice would be to keep trying but let her initiate when she wants to do it I guess as it is painful so until it isn't she will need to be in the right mood to endure some pain haha.



What your boyfriend is 10 inch long and 6 inch round too?
Original post by mangamaan
What your boyfriend is 10 inch long and 6 inch round too?


He's been like up to 9 long and on average 5.5-6 inches around yeah lol

Edit: and so to give an idea of how small I am - my wrist is smaller than his width lol
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 19
Original post by LavenderBlueSky88
Bloody hell! No wonder it hurt that's about the same size as my entire forearm! :eek:


Original post by play_fetch
Quite thick too then so.. Not much diff to my bf. Yeah that with the combination of not sleeping with anyone for a year would be painful. For me I .. Guess I am 'lucky' in that I have no idea what people mean when they say they have slept with a girl who was 'really loose'- because after a month, even 3 weeks but especially a month it's almost like being a virgin again.. I don't know if it is just me or other girls have a similar experience but.. That's how it is for me! I guess the advice would be to keep trying but let her initiate when she wants to do it I guess as it is painful so until it isn't she will need to be in the right mood to endure some pain haha.


What if it just won't ever work ? That's the entire reason I made this thread really. I want to think you're right and after a while taking it steady, she'd adapt and we'll be able to have normal sex. But what if physically it just won't work? I'd waste another 2/4/6 months having bad sex. 6 months of bad sex would kill my self esteem. Eugh I just don't know what to do :/

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